Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
…AND SO IT IS SAME OLD STORY; BOY, MEETS BOY HAS SEX…THEN BOY MEETS OTHER BOY and FOOLS AROUND…THEN BOY TALKS TO OTHER BOY & TRIES TO F&CK HIM. I FIND IT VERY INTERESTING WHAT STRANGE BEDFELLOWS GAY MEN MAKE ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE ALL CONNECTED IN SOME WAY. Now the thing about it is that I had no idea that this BOY was a common factor among the F&CK BUDDY, the MUTUAL FOREPLAY and the YOU ARE NEXT ON THE LIST MAN. This all came to light when ALL three of them was out and life would have it that we saw him and it must have been very strange for him, what are the odds that we all would know each other? Therefore, it became evident who the F&CK BUDDY’S buddy was, it was ever so CLEAR who the MUTUAL FOREPLAY person was and I thought wow he thinks that I am next. When I met him it was a typical online chat above board and simple, little did I know that he I had talked with two other persons I could have his entire story; proves that there is so such thing as the DL or JUST BETWEEN US. Therefore, now I am in disbelief because there are things that I know now, the pieces of the puzzle were in place and the finality of it does not produce a feeling of accomplishment. He seemed so lost, so broken…so needing something or someone to be there for him and now I find that he is just a SELFISH ASSHOLE that does not know how to be a MAN. I find it weird or interesting how he saw ALL three men and thought nothing of it, because later that night he met the F&CK BUDDY and fucked him and three days later, he was trying to get himself into my house and ASS. For me this is a situation that puts me in a weird place because I want to tell him off but I cannot because that would betray a friend’s confidence so I have to let sleeping dogs lie. I WILL SAY THAT I HAVE LOST ALL RESPECT FOR F&CK BUDDY BECAUSE I TOLD HIM WHAT HE WAS ABOUT AND IT DID NOTHING TO DETER HIM FROM ALLOW THIS MAN TO GET WITH HIM. They say that we keep company with persons that reflect that which we are; I am here to say on this day, at this hour he does not in any shape, form or fashion reflect who I am as a MAN. He is sad and pathetic to allow such a person use him for what will only be a few moments of pleasure; I wonder if he knows that his time has long passed and he needs to stop using the LIFESTYLE as if it’s only purpose is for a quick F&CK. How lonely can a MAN be? How can a MAN, any MAN allow this to make them who they are? How can a MAN live with himself feeling a sense of PRIDE and ACCOMPLISHMENT? ONLY GOD KNOWS & I PRAY THAT HE TELLS ME! I WONDER WHAT GOD IS THINKING AS HE COMES TO HIS HOUSE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING TO GET A SAMPLE? HOW CAN ONE FEEL GOOD ABOUT BEING WITH SOMEONE WHEN IT WORKS FOR HIM? Why put oneself through this drama that leaves the mere shell of manhood? I wonder how many times HE will ride this roller coaster with him? How long before HE can minimizes the damage, love himself and believe in his own worth? THIS SADDENS ME TO NO END BECAUSE I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT HE HAS A MAN & YET D!CK STILL FINDS IT’S WAY IN OUR CIRCLE…
Saturday, July 28, 2007
And all of my pretense and offense
But in my defense
I can’t blame him
It is I who knows me inside out
And our declarations of love
Are words on a string
And somewhere in between
I am time and timelessness
Colliding with the future past and present
Waiting for love to plant a dream
And shine on me like a lighthouse beam
As I wonder to and fro
Not knowing where to go
From the bottom of what I am
They are just words
But in the middle of somewhere
Lies the truth
And I am hoping beyond my reality
For reality to be a dream
Hangs on my mind
Hangs on the edge
As if life was nothing
Thus the perils of existence
Friday, July 27, 2007
- If you are happy living a life that is sub-par and empty, ¡DO U!
- If you are content with dating some man because he has money and buy you material things, ¡DO U!
- When your rent is due and you decide to spend the money on partying and having a good time, ¡DO U!
- When you allow the world to make you feel as if you do not matter and you internalize that BULLSHIT, ¡DO U!
- When you want to LIE, STEAL and KILL because you feel it makes your life easier, ¡DO U!
- If you want to live like the RAPPERS and MOVIE STARS because you feel as if they have the ideal life, ¡DO U!
- When your D!CK gets hard and you need to get that release and not use a condom because H. I. V. / A. I. D. S. doesn’t exist, ¡DO U!
- If someone gives you what seems like LOVE and you accept it, ¡DO U!
- If you know that, the time we are blessed with is limited and tends to be used up all too quickly, why do you waste it? ¡DO U!
- I hope you put off living until tomorrow what you are dreaming of today, ¡DO U!
- When the hectic pace of the modern world gives you an easy way out, I hope you take it, DO U!
- I hope you never shelve your aspirations in order to cope more effectively with the challenges of the world, ¡DO U!
- I hope you never have time and leisure to realize your purpose in the future if it gets in the way of the present, ¡DO U!
- I hope you tell yourself that you will chase your dreams someday while accomplishing lesser goals, ¡DO U!
- In truth, don’t’ ever believe that it is fear that keeps you from seeking fulfillment in the here and now, ¡DO U!
- I hope you live believe always believing that failure is your possibility, ¡DO U!
- Don’t ever ask WHY NOT NOW? This drains you of your power to realize your ambitions, ¡DO U!
- Do not ever believe that you are deserving of happiness, ¡DO U!
- You are not empowered to change your life @ this very moment, ¡DO U!
- Please procrastinate allow the abundance of time to legitimize your lack of self-belief, ¡DO U!
REMEMBER THAT ALL THE JOY, PASSION & CONTENTMENT YOU CAN ENVISION CAN BE YOURS RIGHT NOW, RATHER THAN IS SOME DISTANT FUTURE. TELL YOURSELF THAT THERE IS NOTHING STANDING BETWEEN YOU & FULFILLMENT. I HOPE YOU DECIDE THAT TODAY IS THE DAY TO TAKE DESTINY INTO YOUR HANDS YOU WILL DISCOVER THAT YOU HOLD THE KEYS OF FATE…OR NOT, WHAT DO I KNOW? ¡DO U!
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS THE TERM and PREFERENCE IS A CHOICE. I AM A GAY MAN BY ORIENTATION. HENCE, FROM A HOMOSEXUAL PERSPECTIVE I HAVE PONDERED THIS QUESTION: ¿IS THERE A "HETERO" MAN OUT THERE THAT CAN BE IN MY PRESENCE and NOT WORRY ABOUT OWNING MY PREFERENCE? I am a GAY MAN and I do not subscribe to anyone’s THOUGHTS, FEELINGS or IDEAS of who I am and what I am about. Nonetheless, I find it rather sad that society does not allow MEN to co-exist on all levels of humanity. I cannot help but wonder ¿ WHY IS MY SEXUAL PREFERENCE SO IMPORTANT THAT IT MAKES MEN NOT BE MEN AROUND ME? It would be nice if we were ONE SPIRIT, ONE HUMAN…ONE MAN! Nevertheless, society has MEN so caught up trying to whom they think they should be that it leaves OUR WORLD BROKEN and DISCONNECTED. Everyone wants to be A REAL MAN and associating with the likes of me makes them feel otherwise. I wonder if they stop, to realize that if I make them feel that way then it is who they truly are and it has nothing to do with me. I am merely a MIRROR a CATALYST for the thing that they cannot bring themselves to face. I AM AWARE THAT…A REAL MAN is not caught up in labels, he just knows that MY SEX cannot and will not affect him. A REAL MAN would not be sitting up on a HOMOPHOBIC PEDESTAL thinking that if he shun me he is safe from what I represent. A REAL MAN has a spiritual relationship with a higher being, thus he knows that WE ARE ALL CONNECTED. A REAL MAN is honest, trustworthy, sensitive and caring and never trying make himself feel like a MAN by trying to me feel as if I am not one. A REAL MAN knows that if I do not flaunt MY SEXUALITY; that I am not ashamed of it. A REAL MAN takes care of his body and his mind; enabling him to use REASON and SOUND judgment when he is in my presence. A REAL MAN is secure and does not worry if others around him see him showing HIS HUMANITY towards me. A REAL MAN is respectful and pays attention to his my feelings. A REAL MAN IS A MAN WHO IS A MAN AND KNOWS THAT I AM A MAN. ¿ARE THERE ANY REAL MEN OUT THERE?
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY THAT HAS BECOME VERY ANTI-MALE; ESPECIALLY TO WE HOMOSEXUALLY INCLINE MEN. WE ARE THE BUTT OF JOKES, THE ANTAGONIST, and THE DEMON...THE ONES CAUSES SEX TO LEAVE A BAD TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH! WE KEEP WOMEN AND GIRLS AWAKE AT NIGHT. Nevertheless, no matter, we have our worth for GOD FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY MADE US. We are the KINGS that our ancestors made us…the MEN GOD want us to be. ISN’T IT FUNNY HOW SO MUCH OF OUR HUMAN EXPERIENCE IS REMOVED BECAUSE OF WHAT THE WORLD THINK WE ARE? No matter, we are products of HUMANITY and at the moment of birth, we were perfectly attuned to life. OUR SEXUAL feelings are an authentic response to the persons we encounter. We interact with our environment viscerally, desiring only what is necessary for our survival. Moreover, if we are lucky, we take in nourishment in the form of pure mother’s milk. As life passes by, we discover the sights, sounds, and scents that make us who we are. However, these often momentarily dazzle us, the dim memory of our naturalness remains. We embrace the notion that OUR SEXUALITY is inherently natural, brought to the forefront by our daily lives. We innately understand that our bodies are not meant for VANILLLA SEX and there is no legitimate reason to expose ourselves to such a way of life. This knowledge is reinforced each time we find ourselves energized by sweet, fresh and warm tender connection with another man. We feel the strength of our connection and our bodies are blessed accordingly. We are now free, no longer bound up rhythms that cannot seem to find the right beat. Hence, OUR NATURALNESS will reveal itself to the world WE ARE BEYOND BELIEFS, LIFESTYLE CHOICES AND THE INHUMANE WAYS OF THE WORLD.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
HOW TO TELL WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT TO GET THE BOOT…One day, you are madly in love. You are cuddling on the couch, reading love poems and feeding each other sushi. In addition, that is when it happens: Your partner sits you down for the "It's-Not-You, It's-Me" talk. You are confused and left wondering, "How could I have missed the signs?" Breaking up is never easy. Your ego and heart are bound to be bruised. However, if you could just see the breakup coming, it might make the whole business easier to stomach. While hindsight is 20/20, there are always warning signals along the way.
3. CHANGING THEIR STRIPES: A major change in appearance can be a sign that your partner is looking toward greener pastures. Whether they have chopped off their hair, lost 40 pounds or gone from a bold brunette to a sultry blonde, major cosmetic changes should be noted. Of course, there is nothing wrong with being a little vain, but if the change is accompanied by any of the other signs listed here, you may need to get ready to go solo.
4. CRITICIZING: If your sweetie is not feeling you anymore, do not be surprised if he/she becomes less tolerant of everything, from how you brush your teeth to how you tie your shoes. Constant criticism is a telltale sign that your days as a twosome are numbered.
5. LOSING SEXUAL INTEREST: A healthy sex life can make or break a relationship. If you find that your partner is becoming more sexually aloof, you need to get to the root of the issue. While it is natural to have less sex as you settle into a comfortable groove together, waiting weeks or months to have sexual contact is a sign that something is amiss.
Now that you know the warning signs, do not panic. Just because your partner exhibits, some of the behaviors that do not necessarily mean the relationship is over. In fact, usually a combination of signs and not one isolated incident foreshadows a breakup. If you are worried that your partner is itching to get out, the most important thing you can do is sit down and discuss your issues in an honest and open manner. If you take these signs as your cue to improve communication, your relationship may just have a fighting chance.
Monday, July 16, 2007
HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW EMPTY AND HALLOW SOME RELATIONSHIPS ARE? HOW TWO PERSONS NO MATTER HOW HARD THEY TRY TO GET ALONG CAN’T SEEM TO GET IT TOGETHER? I am of the personal opinion that if a relationship does not enhance those involved then they need not be in it. My philosophy is FRIENSHIP, RELATIONSHIP and PARTNERSHIP. However, most do not try to adopt this principle and thus embark on relationships that does more harm than good. How can you be with someone if you are constantly wondering where they are or what they are doing? Isn’t it obvious that this person is not meant for you? If you get into fights constantly this person is not meant for you. If you cannot seem to have a GENUINE LOVE and RESPECT for each other this person is not meant for you. Oddly enough, there are persons that crave such relationships. They yearn for it, to such an extreme, that they make an unwise choice that leads to sadness, dissatisfaction and broken hearts. Settling is entering into a relationship with a less than desirable mate for the sake of escaping the single life. Nevertheless, why do this? How does this not make you feel empty? This emptiness forces the need to find someone, anyone that is not up to the task of being in a relationship. Hence, the absurd criteria of the relationship are based upon how the person looks how they should think, smell, act, taste and fuck. Is it any wonder that this only inevitably leads down a road of frustration? When one settles for a DISFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP out of the FEAR of being UNLOVED then they are lost from the start. Therefore, I wonder why persons settle for this for themselves. How can they not see what they are doing? I believe that the reason they do this is because we are raised to believe that the ideal life is one in which we fall in love, marry and then usually have children. Creating our own family and growing old with our soul mate is instilled in our minds from a very young age. As we enter our late teenage years and early twenties, we are usually weaving our way through relationships, trying to decipher what type of person best fits our needs to sustain a healthy and loving relationship. If a person does not find a truly compatible mate, one that fulfills their emotional and physical needs, provides love, understanding, concern and support through life's difficulties, it is at this time that one may opt to settle. A person may not even realize that they are indeed settling. Fed up with breakups and longing for a stable relationship, a person may settle for a less than compatible relationship. In the beginning of the relationship, this person will feel a temporary relief from the difficulties of being single. They will ignore red flag warnings, and dismiss any subconscious doubts, this person will remain in the relationship until it falls apart. The relationship may be stormy, because of a false connection, or it may be a rather peaceful relationship but lacking the strong and powerful love, that one deserves. Settling may bring temporary happiness, however the key word is temporary. When a person is in a relationship that is not the ideal one for them, they are choosing to close off the option of finding true love. This is not fair to either person in the relationship. We all desire love. We all desire for someone to care for us above all else. We all desire the feeling of being safe and secure in the arms of another. Setting does not produce those results. If realizing that you are settling, ask yourself this: Do you wish to spend your time in a relationship that is doomed or will bring you limited satisfaction? If entering into one relationship after another with people that you know do not possess the qualities that you are ultimately seeking, do you wish to continue doing so, knowing it will lead to disappointment when the relationship ends? We all possess the capability to set reasonable expectations in a future mate. Looking into our hearts, we know what type of person will fulfill our needs. Remaining single and waiting to meet someone that will provide you with a truly loving relationship is wise. You should be pleased that you are abiding to your standards. Falsely believing that continuing to remain single is such a dreadful choice, and settling is the option you choose, you will be losing the prospect of truly enjoying your life bonded with someone you undoubtedly love. How can you give your HEART, SOUL and MIND to an individual that does not complete you? How can you look for someone to make you happy if you cannot do it yourself? Doesn’t fulfillment come from enlightenment, which comes from inspiration? Therefore, we have to inspire ourselves and enlighten ourselves so that we maybe fulfill. Until we reach self-completion and fulfillment, we cannot get rid of our emptiness. Until we get rid of our emptiness, our relationships will not be successful.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
The phrase SEXUAL RESPONSIBILITY means a variety of things to different people. For some, it means abstinence; for others it means having a monogamous partner and consistent condom usage. But, there are a lot of persons out there that ignore both and continue to have UNPROTECTED SEX with clueless persons that are either to EMBARRASSED or HORNY to ask about their status. WE NEED TO BREAK THIS AWFUL KARMA AND BEGIN TO EXERCISE MORE CARE AND ATTENTION TO OUR SEXUAL ACTIVITY; LIFE IS FLEETING FOR US GAY PEOPLE AND WE ARE GOING TO LOOSE OURSELVES TO THIS DISEASE. There are GAY MEN dying around us far too frequently and this is proof that from the moment HIV~AIDS hit us we have taken this disease on for humanity and into our consciousness through guilt. This is exactly what the HATERS and RELIGIOUS ZEALOTS have cast on US as PUNISHMENT for OUR GAYNESS to deflect the real enemy and breeding destruction in OUR COMMUNITY. The fact remains that HIV is still a leading cause of death for in OUR COMMUNITY and the sooner we acknowledge that the better. GAY MEN are engaging in unsafe anal sex at an alarming rate. BLKGAYCHAT, ADAM4ADAM and ADAM4SEX are flooded with men requesting the next HOOK UP and not the disclosure of HIV STATUS that is more important than the fleeting sexual moment that will be over with in a few minutes. HOW CAN WE CONTINUE LIVING THIS LIFE AND CARRY THIS ATTITUDE THAT I DON’T NEED TO KNOW AND HE WON’T TELL ME? These GAY MEN participate in ORGIES and other UNSAFE activity; anyone should know or realize that when the SEXUAL ENERGY is that high, the inhibitions and common sense have long left. BUT WHY TAKE THE RISK? There is no cure for HIV or AIDS and the meds only prolong the development of the virus into full blown AIDS. Hence we get to see how UNEDUCATED the COMMUNITY is when it comes to this crisis. When are going to understand that with SEX comes the responsibility to protect yourself and others? When are WE going to discuss another’s SEXUAL HISTORY and HIV status before sex? When are WE going to understand that SAFE SEX SHOULD still be practiced even after a discussion? I wish that we could stop adopting this fearless mentality and not F&CK in the moment. WE need not accept the risk of simply not asking someone what their status is. I know that SEX without a CONDOM will increase pleasure or seem more spontaneous, but the risks far outweigh any moment of ecstasy. A moment of pleasure can lead to a lifetime of illness and given the rate of that situation why take that chance? WE need to find OUR LOVE for SELF and not follow the direction of some MAN that is more confident sex when it comes to sex because he looks ok doesn’t mean that he is. Don’t fall for the lines and bullshit, let him know IF HIS D!CK CAN’T GET UP THEN HE CAN’T PENETRATE YOU! Don’t let him JUST PUT THE HEAD IN this is just for pleasure and not protection. Don't let a SEX BULLY dictate your future health. We in this COMMUNITY need to start SERO-SORTING; this is the practice of choosing sexual partners based on their HIV status. In other words, SORT POTENTIAL PARTNERS according to whether they are HIV positive or HIV negative. Even though this cannot eliminate the spread of HIV~AIDS this can curb the advancement of the amount of persons being infected. WE NEED TO START OUTTING PERSONS THAT ARE SICK IN ORDER TO GET A HANDLE ON THIS DISEASE, WE NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT WE ARE SAFE GUARDING AND PROTECTING ALL IN THIS COMMUNITY; HIV NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE PERSONS ALIKE.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Studies are finding that women who do not use condoms during sex are less depressed and less likely to attempt suicide than are women who have sex with condoms and women who are not sexually active, leads one researcher to conclude that semen contains powerful—and potentially addictive—mood-altering chemicals. Study author Gordon G. Gallup, Ph.D., a psychologist at the State University of New York in Albany, also found that women who routinely had intercourse without condoms became increasingly depressed as more time elapsed since their last sexual encounter. There was no such correlation for women whose partners regularly used condoms. Gallup's survey of 293 college women also found that those who did not use condoms were most likely to initiate sex and to seek out new partners as soon as a relationship ended. "These women are more vulnerable to the rebound effect, which suggests that there is a chemical dependency," says Gallup. Semen contains hormones including testosterone, estrogen, prolactin, luteinizing hormone and prostaglandins, and some of these are absorbed through the walls of the vagina and are known to elevate mood. Gallup controlled for variables including method of contraception, frequency of sexual intercourse, as well as the women's perception of their relationship. He concedes that women who regularly have sex without condoms might share personality traits that make them less susceptible to depression. Nevertheless, the behavior most often associated with non-condom users is sexual risk-taking, and studies have found no correlation between high-risk sexual behavior and lower rates of depression. Gallup's study, which he deems "the first serious attempt to investigate the effect of semen chemistry on women," titillated the public and rankled some academics upon publication in Archives of Sexual Behavior. Gallup says he has since replicated the findings with a sample of 700 women and will examine whether "semen withdrawal" places women at an increased risk for depression when they are premenstrual, menopausal or have just given birth, as many women abstain from sex during these periods.
Monday, July 9, 2007
I am of the opinion that everyone in this world would agree with me when I say that God, our creator is fair and just. I am sure that every single person on this planet knows that NO ONE wants to spend an eternity in HELL rather than a lifetime of happiness in HEAVEN. We all are aware that if we want to spend our lives in heaven we have to live a certain type of lifestyle and become CHRIST-LIKE. Now with that said, how can the world emphatically say without any kind of doubt that if you are not with GOD in the way the BIBLE dictates then you are against him. HISTORY and COMMON SENSE has taught me that GOD has never written anything and thus the BIBLE should be taken with more than a GRAIN of SALT, hence proving that the BOOK that this world uses as a guide is no more significant than the MOTHER GOOSE BOOK of fairytales. I say this because I wonder how and why if GOD gave us FREEWILL; we have to choose when there is not really a choice at all. How can society say that if we want to live a life free of pain and anguish that GOD says to renounce SATAN and EVIL and accept him; if not then we are against him? This would mean that GOD is like MAN in this regard, saying on thing but meaning another. Why would GOD give an option without giving us an option? It is obvious that NO ONE wants to die and go to HELL so how can we who were created by another have NO WAY OUT? We met this world in the state that it is in, how is it our fault if can’t get beyond the perils and tribulations that befall us? How can we be at fault for doing things that seems so natural to us? Do you believe that at some point I chose to be gay? Do you think that thief or murderer chose to feel like they want to do immoral and hurtful things? The bible seems horribly manufactured to me and it seems as if it handicaps its readers and followers. Thus taking away the bigger picture making me fortunate that I do not subscribe to ORGANIZED RELIGION. The bible is so confusing, misleading, contradictory, and in some places, false that I find it almost impossible to believe that a supreme, all-seeing and knowing god would be so vague about something should guide us on journey to find him. WE HAVE NO WAY OUT if the bible tells us to do this then turn around and say do that. WE HAVE NO WAY OUT if we are struggling with drugs and alcohol addiction. WE HAVE NO WAY OUT if the church does not fulfill and serve its true purpose and uplift us. WE HAVE NO WAY OUT if society allows personal feelings and thoughts get in the way of understanding. We need to remember that GOD’S LAW is different from MAN’S LAW; if I break a law, I am hated and treated with distaste and unkindness. Nonetheless, GOD will still welcome me into his heart and forgive me so why can’t the CHRISTIANS?