Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
- How you see yourself when you look in the mirror or when you picture yourself in your mind.
- What you believe about your own appearance (including your memories, assumptions, and generalizations).
- How you feel about your body, including your height, shape, and weight.
- How you sense and control your body as you move. How you feel in your body, not just about your body.
NEGATIVE BODY IMAGE IS…
- A distorted perception of your shape--you perceive parts of your body unlike they really are.
- You are convinced that only other people are attractive and that your body size or shape is a sign of personal failure.
- You feel ashamed, self-conscious, and anxious about your body.
- You feel uncomfortable and awkward in your body.
POSITIVE BODY IMAGE IS…
- A clear, true perception of your shape--you see the various parts of your body as they really are.
- You celebrate and appreciate your natural body shape and you understand that a person`s physical appearance says very little about their character and value as a person.
- You feel proud and accepting of your unique body and refuse to spend an unreasonable amount of time worrying about food, weight, and calories.
- You feel comfortable and confident in your body.
- Appreciate the things your body can do. With your body, you can walk, dance, laugh, and dream.
- See yourself as a whole person. When you look at yourself in a mirror, avoid focusing on specific areas of your body. Everyone else sees you as a whole person—you should too.
- Wear comfortable clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Try not to wear clothes that are too tight or too baggy, and fit your style.
- Remember that true beauty is more than skin-deep. The most beautiful people in the world are beautiful because of who they are, not what they look like.
- Keep a list of the top ten things you like about yourself. These things shouldn't be about what you look like or your weight. Make sure you read your list often.
- Surround yourself with positive people—positivity is catching. By being around positive people, you will learn to be more positive yourself.
- Stop listening to the inner voices telling you something is wrong with your body, or that you are a bad person. Drown these negative voices out with positive ones.
- View media and social messages critically. Instead of believing what they tell you, look beyond the hype to see the truth.
- Pamper yourself. Show your body that you appreciate it by soaking in a tub, taking a nap, or going for a walk on a sunny day.
- Do something for someone else. You might be surprised at how good it will make you feel about yourself.
SHALLOTTE – I chose this blog because not only is she a GREAT person but she has a kind heart N’ soul. I’ve been trying to get her to enter the blog universe for a while and I am glad that she did. She is TOTALLY deserving of this award and I see that her comments on my blog were ONLY the tip of the iceberg…KEEP GOING…
XIVINRAH – I don’t remember how I came across his blog, but I am glad that I did. This young man puts SO much of himself into his writing that it is SO hard NOT to feel his struggles. He reminds me so much of myself and I felt that he is more than deserving of this reward.
Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.
Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.
Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post,which explains The Award.
Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
So I was talking with my ex boss the
other day and as usual she was expressing her joy about me finding employment;
and it is @ this time she said to me NOT TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT MY SEXUALITY. Now I get why she said this to me because when I was working
with her, both she and my supervisor knew that I am gay. However, she seems to
forget that I NEVER told any of them, she
knew because she has a best friend that is gay and we know of each other.
Nonetheless, I find this thing about
sexuality SO interesting. Moreover, I find it STRANGE that there are persons SO interested
in what I do sexually. Though I don’t dread my sexuality, I don’t feel a need
to come out over AND over AGAIN! The thing about COMING OUT…AGAIN and to whom is one of
the most pivotal AND personal
decisions one will ever make. It's the first step in building relationships
with family and friends that are based on honesty and openness, instead of the
stressful and never-ending need to hide.
I find that BEING IN THE CLOSET is just that; it is a place of ISOLATION that has it many draw backs. Though a gay person knows that
s/he isn’t the only gay person in the world, it is STILL a dangerous thing to let
someone know about your sexuality. Though I am technically IN the closet, I am SURE that
my shoes are peaking out. I guess it is like they say WITH AGE COMES…so this time I will NOT be
dragged out like I was when I was 20. When I think about that time, I thank God
that I found who I was and stayed strong in that because something like this
can DEFINITELY break person. Even though I now live with the zeal AND enormous relief that I no longer have to suppress my sexual
identity, I rather NOT discuss it with
persons that can’t appreciate it. And when I say appreciate it, I mean learn to
leave well enough alone…
Monday, November 24, 2008
- STOP LETTING YOUR APPEARANCE BE AN EXCUSE TO HIDE…Have you ever seen a nice gentleman exchange contact with someone you wouldn’t give the time of day? That’s because the art of seduction has a lot more to do with social skills than with naked physical attraction. It’s not 30 pounds you need to lose to pick up more men—it’s your inner fears.
- APPROACH A LOT OF MEN…To get started in the pick-up game, you need to go where men are and learn to approach them. And not just one or two guys, but many guys. If you can’t strike up a conversation, you don’t have a chance to pick up and eventually seduce someone you’re attracted to.
- DON’T HESITATE…Nothing conveys indecision and nervousness like hesitation. Indecision and nervousness are not attractive traits. So practice the three-second rule: train yourself to approach your target within three seconds of seeing him.
- LEARN SOME APPROACHES…An approach is an excuse— any excuse— to start a conversation with someone: HOW DO I GET TO THE CAFÉ FROM HERE? Or THERE’S SOME LINT ON YOUR COLLAR. However the easiest of all approaches is simply to smile and say HI. Forget the cheesy pick lines, they’re phony, convey too much sexual interest, and leave you no place to take the conversation.
- HAVE AN OPENER…Once you've exchanged a few words develop openers or standard conversational ploys that will attract your target. Try something startling: THAT WASN’T YOUR CAR ON FIRE IN THE PARKING LOT. WAS IT? DID YOU SEE THOSE TWO GUYS FIGHTING OUTSIDE? Or get an opinion: HEY, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? OR THIS GUY I KNOW…Develop your opener into a little routine by adding vivid details and get your target involved and keep him engaged until he gives signs of starting to relax.
- LEARN DISINTERESTED INTEREST…Keep him off balance when he suspects you’re trying to pick him up. This allows time for his attraction to develop. Keep talking in a friendly way while pretending you’re not really that interested sexually.
- DON’T COMPLIMENT HIM…Since compliments like I LOVE YOUR SMILE give away your attraction; throw them in the dust bin with the pick-up lines. Instead, learn to neg. Negging is the art of giving a half-compliment, setting up a dissonance in your pick-up target. Examples: I LOVE YOUR SMILE, ARE YOU WEARING BRACES? THAT’S A NICE SHIRT; DID YOU GET IT @ SO & SO? The neg should always sound friendly AND positive and only subliminally be insulting. Negs excite your subject by sending contradictory signals spinning in his brain and creating excitement he will be intrigued to resolve.
- DEMONSTRATE YOUR SOCIAL VALUE…When you meet a guy, don’t stop talking, just stop talking aimlessly. Learn to be funny and entertaining and cast yourself in a positive light in the stories you tell. TELL HIM ABOUT THE TIME CHASED AWAY A SNAKE or HOW GREAT YOUR NEW GYM ROUTINE IS MAKING YOU FEEL. Please make sure that you talk about ex-boyfriends OR hang a friend around your shoulder to demonstrate that others think you’re attractive. In other words, give him enough ammunition to justify an attracted toward you. Once an attraction develops, you’ll see the signals in his eyes and body language.
- TOUCH…Without touching there is no sex. To get the ball rolling, touch early and often. Make sure your touches are sensual and motivating, not crude sexual pawing. Examine his cool wristwatch. Flatten his mussed-up collar. Read his palm. Your fleeting touches will leave him begging for more.
- ISOLATE, MOVE & DEVELOP RAPPORT…@ some point you hope to have this man in your life. So to accelerate the process you need to lead him to a neutral location away from his friends. Continue developing rapport and interest. Invite him to a quiet corner of the bar, outside for a breath of air or to a nearby eatery. Then take it from there.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
- Separate sex from love.
- You don't need to have anything in common. The ability and/or desire to converse with each other is only necessary if one party requires that as foreplay.
- Both parties must be either single or in open relationships.
- Exes you are currently friends with make ideal booty call partners. However, if one party broke the other's heart, pursuing a booty-call arrangement is a no-no (at least for 24 hours).
- Unless otherwise agreed upon, after midnight on a school night is too late to call. On weekends, all calls should be made at least five minutes before closing time.
- If you don't want an overnight guest, then make the booty call before sundown. After the sun sets, you've got to resign yourself to the possibility of entertaining all night long--unless you have express rules to the contrary, it is the only polite thing to do.
- It's best to store your booty call's number in your phone and NOT memorize it, should you someday wish to delete the number (and the person) from your sex life.
- Booty calls are best made via caller-ID-friendly devices. That way, the receiver can decide whether or not to take the call. If the receiver is not prepared to say yes, he or she should not pick up lest the answer offend or embarrass the caller.
- Whenever possible, opt for text messaging a booty call request -- it's the most civilized (i.e. safest, i.e. cowardly) form of booty call communication.
- Though it's understood that most booty calls are made after hours, the world would do well to remember that calls may also be made sober and in the light of day.
- Ideally, booty callers should alternate who calls whom so that mutual interest is constantly re-established. If you have been the initiator more than three times without reciprocation, it is safe to assume they'd almost rather do anything rather than have sex with you.
- You probably shouldn't draw on one booty source more than once a week. Two weeks is ideal. More often and you risk drifting into a common-law relationship.
- It’s okay to be tipsy, but if you are stumbling drunk and unable to perform the basic duties of the booty call, don't make the call in the first place. It's is the height of rudeness to call if there is ANY chance you may vomit on or near your booty call.
- Both parties should be armed with condoms and dental dams at all times.
- Don't leave personal items behind.
- Faking is a no-no (that is reserved for the most dysfunctional relationships and miserable one-night stands). Each party deserves at least one real one.
- If you're not having fun, then by definition, it isn't a proper booty call.
- Never call a fuck buddy just to say hi.
- If your booty call is in the same social circle, and your are out together in a group, then either go home together or go home alone.
- Just because the sex is casual doesn't make it an appropriate topic for casual conversation. Be discreet.
- Assume that you are not the only booty call in your partner's rotation. If this is not cool with you, then you must communicate your desire for casual yet monogamous sex and then negotiate from there.
- Don't assume that duration implies relationship progression.
- You should always be honest about where this is going, other booty call partners you may have, sexual health history, etc., but keep unsolicited details about your other partners and sexual experiences to yourself.
- The above rules may be amended at any time if both parties are in explicit agreement.
- No matter how casual the set-up, remember that your booty buddy is a human being, and not a fucking machine. If you can't play well with others, get yourself a sex toy. This final rule may not be amended and trumps all others at all times.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
SWV, also known as SISTERS WITH VOICES, is an American Grammy-award nominated female R&B/Pop trio from New York. Formed in 1990, SWV had a series of hits. WEAK is an R&B ballad recorded for their debut album, It's About Time (1992). It was written and produced by Brian Alexander Morgan, who composed the lyrics based upon his feelings towards R&B singer Chanté Moore. The song was released as the third single from SWV 's album, following the top ten success of I'M SO INTO YOU. WEAK hit number one on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 in July 1993 for two weeks, and is one of SWV's biggest U.S. chart-toppers. It also topped the Hot R&B Songs for two weeks. THIS SONG IS SWEET & TOUCHING THAT I COULDN’T PASS UP THE CHANCE OF POSTING IT ON MY BLOG…HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY AS MUCH I DO.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
About a week ago I saw an ex manager of mine; this particular manager I wrote about in a previous blog entry. So imagine my surprise when I heard a voice call my name and say IF I AM OKAY & HOW COME I DIDN’T ACKNOWLEDGE MY BOY (his lingo NOT mine). Now I let that pass because I thought HEY, HE MUST HAVE BEEN PLAYING A JOKE OR SOMETHING because he had seen me before and we didn’t say ONE word to each other. So now yesterday I am on my way to work, I hear this car horn trying to get my attention and can you guess who it was? YEP HIM! I am like WTF? So I started looking around for the cameras because I know I am about to get PUNKED! With no luck finding the cameras I made my way to work trying to figure out what the hell was up with him. Was he trying to make amends for the way he treated me more than 10 years ago? Was he sorry for firing my ass because I am gay? All I know is that let go that shit years ago (LORD knows it took me a while) but I did it AND here I am…Yet I wonder what series of events lead him to exchange pleasantries with me? Is because his son is gay? Could it be that he has seen the error of his ways? Or could he himself be gay? Whatever his modus operandi I know that I must stay afloat amidst the spin…I am all about forgiveness and stuff like that but I can’t help but sense the NEGATIVITY in his words AND actions. I guess it’s like they say WE ALL RADIATE ENERGY & I DON’T NEED HIS TO BE MESSED UP WITH MINE and though I will wrap myself up in a cocoon of loving AND protective light; I will face the dark when it comes my way. @ the end of it all, I know that he ONLY be who he is and I have to ACCEPT that each of us is allowed to have different perspectives AND opinions…even if it is about MY sexuality…SO WHILE I REAP THE BENEFITS OF WALKING THIS PATH, I HAVE A FEELING THAT HE CAN SEE THAT HOW HE ACTED TOWARDS ME IN THE PAST DID NOT BREAK ME. I FREED MYSELF FROM TRYING TO TWIST INTO SHAPES THAT’LL FIT THE SPACES HE NEEDS FILLED & I KNOW THAT I AM A BETTER MAN FOR IT.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
MAYBE…we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.
MAYBE…when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.
MAYBE…it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.
MAYBE…the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
MAYBE…the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.
MAYBE…you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.
MAYBE…there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.
MAYBE…the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.
MAYBE…you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.
MAYBE…you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.
MAYBE…giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be
content that it grew in yours.
MAYBE…happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the
people who have touched their lives.
MAYBE…you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark
day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.
MAYBE…you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy
MAYBE…you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling but when you die, you can be the one who
is smiling and everyone around you crying.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
TOMORROW (A BETTER YOU, A BETTER ME) is the title of a number-one R&B single by Quincy Jones featuring Tevin Campbell. The hit song spent one week at number-one on the US R&B chart, oddly the song only peaked at number 75 on the US pop chart. It was Campbell's first #1 R&B single and first single to enter the Billboard Hot 100. I LOVE THIS SONG!!! This is Mr. Campbell @ his finest, this song tugs @ the heart strings of the listener and doesn’t let go until it is done. I chose this song today because I feel that the world needs to be reminded that there is a tomorrow…however, it started YESTERDAY so we have catching up to do…
Friday, November 14, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
- ARE YOU QUALIFIED FOR THIS JOB?
- WHAT ENERGY CAN YOU BRING TO THE GAY COMMUNITY?
- HAVE IN ANY SHAPE OF FORM INTERNALIZE YOUR HOMOPHOBIA?
- DO YOU VALIDATE YOURSELF WORTH BY WHOM YOU HAVE SEX WITH?
- DO YOU EXPLOIT YOURSELF ON ADAM4ADM, BGC, THUGS FOR SEX OR YOUTUBE?
- DOES THE PICTURE OF YOU IN YOUR TIMB & WIFE BEATER, UNDERWEAR, DICK HARD, ASS SHOT SHOWING THE GLORY HOLE SAYS THAT THIS IS WHO I AM?
- DO YOU PROVIDE SUPPORT TO THE COMMUNITY?
- ARE YOU CAPABLE SOLVING & RESOLVING PERSONAL ISSUES WITH YOUR FELLOW GAY BROTHERS & SISTERS?
- DO YOU SUPPORT THE ACHIEVEMENTS OF THE COMMUNITY BY RECOGNIZING THE SUCCESS OF OTHERS?
- WILL YOU CONTINUE TO LOOK FOR ANOTHER JOB?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
because you didn’t request it in your life