Monday, September 24, 2007

SO OVER IT...







We all have our own way of being in the world and we all occupy a distinct role in the universe. We grow up in different environments, affected by a unique range of influences. The preferences, values, and beliefs we embrace are often related to our origins. However, in this life we walk a fine line that is based on a life of SOLITUDE or COMPANIONSHIP. Over the course of my time on this planet, I have met MEN that I thought were @ the time a PERFECT match. WE did not end up where I thought we were going to be and I realized that I had a small glimmer of HOPE that it would change, even though I have NO reason to think otherwise. Nonetheless, the thing about LIFE and TIME is that things CHANGE seasons come and go making the NEW OLD. So, I have come to realize that things did not blossom because they were not meant to be. This made me feel a bit SAD and DEPRESS especially when I found out or heard that they actually ended up dating someone else soon after I decided to leave things to themselves. Silently I wished that I were that person in his BED, HEART and LIFE! I wondered often what was wrong with me, what part of me was not showing that I could be what he needed all along? How could a man NOT see another genuine soul in front of him? I guess I had too many expectations for myself and what I seeking in men…Well NO matter that was then and this is now! I KNOW THAT WHEN I MEET THE MAN THAT I AM MEANT TO BE WITH I WILL RECOGNIZE HIS ENERGY & HE WILL KNOW MINE. For far too long I have been selling myself short, placing him on a pedestal. I based my RELATIONSHIP needs on what I thought I saw and not actually, what was there. NOW I HAVE COME TO A PLACE IN MY LIFE WHERE I HAVE PROCESSED & RELEASED A FEW ISSUES & THIS IS ONE OF THEM. I HAVE ACCEPTED THE BARRIERS THAT KEPT HIM & ME FROM BECOMING WE, NO LONGER DO I TELL MYSELF THAT I AM WHAT HE SHOULD WANT or NEED. EITHER HE KNOWS IT OR…WHEN I AM HIT WITH THE THOUGHTS OF LOVE THAT I WANT TO GIVE & NO ONE TO GIVE IT TO, I WILL REMEMBER THAT I AM IN THIS PLACE, IN THIS TIME FOR A REASON. I HAVE ACCEPTED THE PLEASANT REALITY THAT WAS WITH ME FOR A LONG TIME & NOW I AM HONESTLY, COMPLETELY & GLEEFULLY SO OVER IT!

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