Friday, December 5, 2008

WORKING ME


For about a week I’ve been contemplating quitting my job. I am NOT a quitter but working with someone that has to be a B!TCH when it is necessary is more than I am prepared to deal with. I came to this realization when I lied to my boss about finishing a project that would take days but she expected it to be completed in mere minutes. I wanted to tell her SO bad that I didn’t complete it so she could FREAK THE F&CK out but I didn’t. I lied because I know that there are persons depending on me and in these tough economic I don’t want to be unemployed. I guess it would WAY TOO much to have a boss that actually appreciates the persons working for her…INSTEAD SHE WOULD RATHER THAT I HATE N’ DESPISE HER…So here how it went down…Last week things FINALLY came to a boiling point. My boss and I had it out and I could tell that she was VERY surprised because the woman hung up her phone on me and came to confront me face to face (I guess seeing was supposed to make me back down). I thought I was going to be fired for sure, but I couldn’t let her think that I can’t AND won’t stand up for my rights. The thing about our confrontation is that I was VERY calm, my voice was steady AND my blood pressure didn’t go up. I get that she is under pressure AND others are NOT pulling their weight, but I am. I guess she needs to let someone have and I guess I am the RIGHT person because it is easy to blame shit on me. If only it were that simple…Since I’ve ONLY been working there for a month I can’t AND won’t take the blame for things that go on in a company that  is SO backwards AND with NO real plan OR system in place to get things done. So you know B!TCH wasn’t having that right? She went on about how I can’t multi-task (ME KISHNA ANDREW MARK CAREY HOMOSEXUAL FROM BIRTH) cannot multi-task? I WAS LIKE HUH? And I thought, I multi-task EVERYDAY by NOT slapping the F&CK out of you OR telling about your HORRIBLE people skills…but I didn’t. I took the diplomatic approach and VERY calmly let her know that I am NOT her enemy and did NOT come there to take anything away from her. I plainly told her that I AM VERY HAPPY WITH MY LIFE…despite the fact that they don’t pay me anything, I am grateful that I have a job and that I somewhere to lay my head. B!TCH brought out the peace bringer side of me. After our hour talk we both decided that we needed to head home…As I settled @ home I wondered to myself if our conversation had any effect on how she behaves…funny how we ask questions that are answered almost @ the EXACT moment we had them…So back to work the next day and she and I had a another interaction. This time I did NOT engage her, I just walked out of her office as she raised her voice AND lost her patience because she didn’t feel like explaining to me how to process a return payment to a client. It was this incident that made me thought about quitting AND I promised myself that if she breathes @ me too hard I will give her the keys and walk away because I don’t feel trying to make a living should be this much hell. I sometimes wonder who OR what I was in my previous life because it seems that I have a way of working with companies that are crap OR there are persons there that are getting EVERYTHING and they STILL want to shit on the little people. All I can say is that if I wasn’t STRONG in who I am AND I choose to see beyond her, I would SO return to her what she is giving me…BUT I KNOW THAT THIS JOB LIKE EVERYTHING IN LIFE WILL PASS…I AM ONLY THERE UNTIL I AM SUPPOSED TO BE (HOPE THE TIME TO LEAVE ISN’T TOO FAR OFF). I GUESS IT IS TRUE WHAT A FRIEND OF MINE SAY ABOUT WOMEN THAT ARE SOFT SPOKEN, IT’S LIKE WORKING ANGEL ONE DAY THEN THE NEXT SOME OTHER DEMONIC ENERGY TAKES OVER…TALKING ABOUT MULTI-TASKING…

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