Wednesday, December 11, 2013


To love, trust and honor yourself is the ultimate foundation for any relationship. The relationship with yourself is mirrored in the relationship with the partners that you attract into your life. Each moment we are at choice. A choice to choose love or a choice to choose fear. A choice to cheat or a choice to live with integrity. Every relationship is the opportunity to practice integrity and to live your spirituality in everyday life.

When you don’t honor what you truly feel or your deepest truth in a relationship, you cheat on yourself. This is when unfaithfulness begins. When you are in a relationship and compromise who you really are, you are cheating on yourself. When you remain in a relationship that no longer nourishes your authentic soul expression, you are cheating on yourself. When you enter into a relationship even though your intuition tells you something isn’t right, you are cheating on yourself. When you don’t honor yourself, you also cheat your partner from having all of you, as well as the opportunity to find the fullness of love that might be available for them too. When you truly trust yourself then you make choices that reflect this. You choose people that are trustworthy and able to honor you.

It’s not about right or wrong. It’s about integrity. It’s about honoring whatever agreements you made with each other. When you cheat you don’t give the other person an opportunity to choose. If you let them know how you feel up front, they at least have a choice whether to continue in relationship with you or not, rather than being there under false pretense. If you both agree to being monogamous and faithful to each other, then honor that commitment. But if it’s not your authentic truth and you are simply agreeing to what you think you should, then you are already being unfaithful to yourself and your partner.

If your agreement no longer feels true for you then honor yourself, honor your partner, honor your love by speaking the truth. Have the courage to renegotiate your commitment and find a new relationship format that allows for more love to be expressed between you both. Commit to love each moment of your relationship. Sometimes this will cause you to end a relationship. But other times it may mean you must commit more deeply to working on your relationship, even though it’s challenging. Just because you feel an attraction to someone other than your partner is not enough of a reason to act on it. Real freedom is not necessarily doing whatever you want, whenever you want, with whomever you want. This is simply to be a slave to your desires. Remember that desires are fleeting and often endless.

Real freedom is to be connected to your authentic self and making choices that are in alignment. Real freedom is a discipline of the heart. Real freedom is to sacrifice what is lesser for what is more. Real freedom is a commitment to love.

So commit to love.


  1. Having lived in an "open relationship" for 23 years, I can truly say that the love for my partner never diminished even though I "had sex" with other men. He and I were very much in love. He was ten years older that me and understood that I needed to have sex with others, but that never came between us. He was the most wonderful friend I have ever had. His death, six years ago, tore me to pieces. Even now as I remember him tears fill my eyes,

    1. I am glad you got to do that with no problem @ this time in my life I am happy with just the one guy

  2. Unfortunately, "Permission to Play" is more often than not, only in the mind of the player him or herself.