Lately I’ve had a case of what I guess we can call baby fever.
I’ve been infatuated with the children of my family and friends but I’ve been wondering what mine would be like: Will they be outgoing? Will their mouths be smart as hell? On a scale of cute to fine as hell, how attractive will they be? Do I even have the patience to be with a child that might have the same temperament and demeanor as I do?
If there is a bright side to this dilemma it is that I don’t have to deal with a mini-me because one of us wouldn’t make it.
The harsh reality that a gay man (or two gay men) cannot have a child has begun to stand boldly in my face as of late. Although circumstances are different, we know the adoption process does not favor two men. Most people want to have children, women want the perfect circumstances; a guy that they love and a stable environment. At a certain point women really begin to feel the pressure, the ticking sound of the biological clock seemingly grows louder and louder. Women that want a child often have the tools (and/or resources) to have one and live a lifestyle that is conducive to reproduction. A gay men on the other hand simply cannot. Working on creating the correct circumstances is something that I’d much rather work on than deal with the reality that no matter what happens I cannot have children on my own.
Don’t you think that you would have the most awesome kids ever?
My mother is a still making chicks 20 years her junior mad and my father was a genius so that basically makes me thee prototype. These genes need to live!! However the fact is, there is a strong 98% chance that my genes won’t live and what a waste.
When being an uncle just isn’t enough, there are only a few other options that exist:
Have a planned baby with a female friend.
I’m not the only person who has had these conversations with their female friends. “If I’m not married on my 28th birthday, I’m slipping something in your drink so you can be my baby daddy. Our kids will be cute, think about it.” Quite honestly, nothing needs to be slipped in my drink. What if your friend does find a man? What if she gets pregnant before then? What if y’all fall out? I can see this plan going south quickly.
Pretend you’re straight, get married to a woman, take pills to have sex, have a few kids and live a life where you’re unhappy.
Go through the long, long and long adoption process.
As far as my brown eyes can see, this is the answer. There are millions of wonderful children who need a loving home. There are children who through no fault of their own are homeless, abused and hungry. My leading option is to adopt, nurture, raise, teach and love at least one of these children and make sure that they reach their full potential.
Making plans to have children with someone I am not in a relationship with is not practical when there are already children here who- for lack of a better term- need me. At this point in my life, I still need to accomplish a few more goals before I consider adopting. However, I am forever thinking about ways to have children of my own.
Do you ever think about having children? What options are you considering?