Wednesday, February 3, 2016


I’ve had all kinds of sex, honey – some at my prime, others not so much. What I’ve realized, now that I’m at an age to look back, is that most of what I call “bad sex” happened in my early-twenties when I was still trying to figure it out. Thank God the time has passed and I can share what I’ve learned…

What is the difference between fucking, sex, and making love? We all have our own interpretations of it – I’m sure even after I give my opinion on the topic, you will have an opposing one. To me, sex is more than just about penetration. Sometimes it doesn’t even have to involve it. What matters most to me is the intention behind – that in itself sets the meaning of the word.

Fucking has little build-up involved.

Both married people and single people can f**k all the time. It has a get-to-the-point kind of perspective about it. You do it when you’re not in the mood to talk or be mushy. You want to get off and you need it now, not later. So you cut to the chase, reach for the condom, grab the lube, and get the party started.

Single gay guys f**k all the time. Thanks to apps like Grindr (among others), guys are having sex with very little emotional attachment just to get off. Say what you want about it, but in my opinion, this isn’t just sex. It’s fucking. It’s dismissive. It matters very little in the long run and you do it just for the sake of a happy ending.

Gay couples in relationships f**k all the time, too. I remember when my man and I returned from a long road trip. We were both so tired, yet, equally horny. Instead of our usual kissing, rubbing, blowing routine, we went straight for home base. It was a wam, bam, bam, bam, bam, done, kind of night. We also do it after a long day of work, or other situations where all we want to do is be inside each other because we’re so horned up. It’s all good!

SEX is about the climactic journey towards penetration.

Write what you want, but I think blowjobs definitely constitute as sex in today’s world. When I have sex, I start from the ground up – the speed changes every time, but I always start with the basics rather than rushing into it.

This is the type of sex most people have, especially in relationships. Both of you make an unconscious effort to take your time with each other. It’s all in the buildup – kissing, rubbing, blowing, pinning, humping, grabbing, mounting, etc. It’s a lead up. Once one of you is inside the other, it becomes a very nice pay off. The whole experience can be described as “SEX,” and it’s how most human beings in the world have been doing it since the beginning of time.

MAKING LOVE has intention.

It’s cause and effect; trust me, we all know the difference between a man who is into our bodies versus a man who is into our hearts. He touches us differently – it’s caring, sensitive, sensual. He likes (or loves) us, so he wants our souls to speak to one another.

It’s more than just about touching. It’s a deep yearning to feel affirmed and valued. We all long for a man to see us exactly as we are, and love us for it. Whatever insecurities we have about our body or personality is thwarted by the intensity he feels for us as a person. Making love is an expression of feeling rather than a reenactment of our favorite porn scene.

One of the biggest mistakes countless gay men do is to have sex with strangers as if they’re making love. We all want companionship and we all like to be snuggled with, but some guys don’t know how to handle it afterwards. They give too much of themselves when they’re making love that they confuse their brains. They lose touch of what it actually means to love without sex that when a good man comes into their lives, they’re desensitized. This is never a good habit to build upon.

Whether it’s fucking, sex, or making love, it’s all an expression of something. For some it’s love, for others it’s simply being horny. It doesn’t matter what you call it, penetration is penetration at the end of the night. I personally don’t have a favorite type of sex – they’re all good. Depending on my mood, I can have one scheduled for every day of the week, honey.

What do they mean to you?



  1. An honest summary of the dynamics that differentiate emotional love from a casual encounter (hook-up). Thank you for sharing this with us, my blogging brother! Take care and stay bare!

  2. Yeah, it really depends.
    I do, however, prefer making love.