Here are a few things you can do to start changing the dialogue, owning your confidence, and creating an environment that allows other gay men to do the same:
Encourage people in your life to speak openly about their accomplishments. Celebrate together. Become a safe space for confidence by encouraging that kind of positive self-talk.
Accept compliments without caveat. You don’t have to minimize or shut down a compliment for anyone. Try this: Just say “thank you.”
It’s OK to just receive a compliment.
It’s OK to just receive a compliment.
Applaud other gay men when you see their confidence, rather than criticizing it. “Good for him” can become a regular part of your vocabulary instead of “Who does he think he is?” Give everyone permission to be themselves and proud of it.
Refuse to take part in confidence-knocking conversations. Instead, you might ask those chatting, “Why does his confidence bother you?” Or again, “good for him” works like a charm. Being mindful of not knocking others’ confidence will have a positive effect on those around you too.
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