Thursday, November 21, 2013


This time of year generally calls for some obligatory self-reflection which, unfortunately for some of us, dissolves into an excuse to pick ourselves apart. It’s a bad habit shrouded by all of the hoorah that goes along with crossing the threshold into a fresh set of 365 days and with them, a bounty of new opportunities to become thinner! smarter! wealthier! healthier! more organized! more accomplished! just better overall! In that pursuit of personal reinvention, goal-setting can dissolve into fault-finding.

Self-improvement is good. Self-improvement is necessary. But there’s also something to be said for being happy where you are, with who you are, without feeling like a complete personal overhaul is in order for the new year, a birthday, a fresh relationship, a career change, whatever. That fixer-upper spirit can be emotionally and psychologically draining, especially if you consistently fall short of your own expectations which we, tend to set for ourselves. If we’re never going to be perfect, is there ever a point where we’re satisfied with who we are, sans a little fine-tuning here and there to accommodate the ebbs and flows of life?

Every day I feel like I’m finally starting to know me for real. I’m an open book and I have learned, without apology, how to celebrate the man I’m not as much as I celebrate the man that I already am.


  1. We should always go on learning more and more about the persons we are. As I approach 80 next May, I feel that as a gay man I have developed just so much over the years since I accepted who and what I am and have tried to live my life appropriately. It has been a long road, but a very fulfilling journey. There have been many difficulties to be overcome, but so far I have been successful.

  2. Note to self: I'm okay. Thanks for reminding me to take a break once in a while ☺☺