BENEFITS OF MASTURBATION IN RELATIONSHIPS

I’m often asked by curious couples if masturbating while in a relationship is healthy, and I always say yes.  For some, the idea of practicing solo sex is seen as offensive or an admittance of not being pleasured properly, but masturbation shouldn’t be viewed in this way. By using the act in mutual practice and in solo settings, self-pleasuring can add to a sexual relationship in various ways.

Mutual masturbation builds intimacy

Intimacy requires trust in order for each person within a relationship to place themselves within the essence of another’s energy. Using mutual masturbation during sexual foreplay is a great way for couples to engage with each other intimately without entering into physical intercourse.  It’s a very intimate activity to be a voyeur of while participating simultaneously. Confidence in each other’s sexual expression and enjoyment will help unify a couple sexually helping shame that often mystifies sex to be released. Locking eyes and maintaining this gaze on each other will help to build trust in each other and send signals of desire that can heighten the experience.

It’s great foreplay

Stroking the genitals in a rhythmic way can cause sensations that arouse sexual energy.  This process is necessary for the body to go from a resting state to a place of arousal where it is ready for sexual activity. Heart rate increases, blood rushes to the sex organs making them more sensitive to the touch and hormones are released that begin the process of lubrication for women and erection for men. Using masturbation as a form of foreplay can help each partner become comfortable with viewing the other sexually and lead to a heated moment of passion once bodies are joined together.

Helps with sexual self-awareness

Too often people believe they know all there is to know about their sexual parts, but most only have a general understanding of how to use them. In order to have a command over sexual arousal one must know what spots on the genitals are the most pleasurable and how to touch them in order to feel aroused. Masturbation allows one the time to explore and learn about what touches can create feelings of euphoria that awaken erotic energy. This type of understanding of self creates a sense of sexual confidence in how to use physical techniques to get to the arousal stage of orgasm. Once you know your triggers it’s easier to tell your partner exactly what you require to feel completely satisfied during the sexual experience.

Can release stress

Living daily life can be stressful due to the demands of responsibilities and sometimes the time needed to put into sex just doesn’t seem to present itself. The process of each partner being ready for sex and completely enjoying it while it happens can be daunting, especially if each partner has a different level of libido. Some may require more sex while others are okay with having it once every two weeks.  Using masturbation as a way for each partner to receive the sexual release they desire is a healthy act, whether used in act together or solo. Encourage your partner’s self-exploration for a balanced sex life.

SOURCE: BLACK DOCTOR

HOW TO HAVE A BETTER ORGASM

How does your ORGASM feel? Many say they have NOT experienced a satisfying orgasm. That could be for a number of reasons. Find out why and HOW you can get (and GIVE) better orgasms. Too often, we become so fixated on having a mind blowing, earth shattering, toe-curling orgasm that we forget how nice it can be to be teased, touched, enticed, caressed, taken, enthralled, and compelled sexually.

Sure, chandelier-hanging sex “til the cops come knockin” is cool, but for many people, the challenge of reaching orgasmic ecstasy remains elusive.

Here are a few tips that you may want to consider:

1. Be present. Be “in the moment” and try not to think about work, kids, bills, or the challenges of life.  Focus on what feels pleasurable for you.

2. Be patient. Trying to rush your climax may only delay it from happening. Give yourself as much time as you want to enjoy being sexy for yourself and/or for your partner.

3. Be creative. Having only one way to “get there” may get old over time. Be willing to experiment with different positions, different times of the day, various places, and using toys.

4. Be free to be you. Know what turns you on/off. Do you like seductive talking? Maybe wear sexy clothes? Do you prefer the lights on/off? Firm or soft body caressing? Does spontaneity turn you on? Figure out what it takes you “there.”

5. Be willing. Be willing to teach your partner about what you like and what you don’t like sexually. Your partner isn’t going to know unless you tell him/her what is sexy and pleasurable to you.  Some people prefer to be passionately kissed on their neck while others prefer to have their thighs,  calves, and feet caressed. Tell your partner what feels good and be willing to even show him/her what turns you on.

The Biggest Challenge…Is In Your Own Mind

The biggest challenge for my many of my clients is being comfortable with their own bodies.  Oftentimes, people feel shameful about their size, shape, or way that their body moves and this prevents them from surrendering themselves sexually to their partners.

Healthy relationships involve talking about how you feel about your body as well as how it impacts your sexual experience.

Consider sharing with each other what you like sexually, what you think about sexually, and how you feel as a sexual being in order to develop a deeper sense of intimacy.

Finally, you and your partner should take time out to discuss sexual expectations (e.g., frequency, protection from unplanned pregnancy and STIs, positions, etc.) for yourself and your relationship. Remember that your best sexual organ is your brain and that the dirty four-letter word that most couples fail to address with regards to sex is…TALK.

SOURCE: BLACK DOCTOR

HOW THE PENIS CHANGES WITH AGE

How does aging affect male’s primary sex organ? It is a question that seeps into every man’s mind, no matter what his situation may be. Whether single, married, healthy or unhealthy, a man’s body will eventually go through some changes.

Here is brief rundown of what men can expect to occur as they age:

Penis Appearance & Size

As man crosses the prime sexual period, 30 years in many cases, the male organ undergoes some significant changes. The penis head gradually loses its color due to reduced blood flow, and pubic hair loss can be observed in some cases. If a man puts on excess weight, and as he ages, the organ loses its girth and length. The size loss can be reversible when caused by weight gain, but not when caused by aging. There is nothing to worry about if you notice the reduction in the size, since it simply happens due to reduced blood flow.

At least two mechanisms cause the penis to shrink. One, the slow deposition of fatty substances (plaques) inside tiny arteries in the penis, which impairs blood flow to the organ. This process, known as atherosclerosis, is the same one that contributes to blockages inside the coronary arteries — a leading cause of heart attack.

Curvature

If penile scar tissue accumulates unevenly, the penis can become curved. This condition, known as Peyronie’s disease, occurs most commonly in middle age. It can cause painful erections and make intercourse difficult. The condition may require surgery.

Arousal Time

As men age, the testosterone level falls, and when this hormone level falls in the body, it takes more time to achieve erection and orgasm. Moreover, unlike the younger age, the recharging or ‘re-arousal’ time will be longer too. As men reach 40, semen production start getting lower, and the erection quality also starts going down. In many cases, the prostate enlarges which weakens the urine flow and may cause other complications.

SOURCE: BLACK DOCTOR