RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE ALL STARS: SEASON 2, EPISODE 8 - ALL STARS SUPER GROUP

Before we spill all the tea on the finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, let’s take a minute to discuss the season as a whole (and save the juicy spoilers for below).

This may have been the best season of any RuPaul’s Drag Race (and, hot take, possibly one of the best seasons of any reality competition show ever). Not only was the collection of queens topknotch, but they constructed a nail-biting season where charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent were tested at every turn. Of course, the twist where the girls choose who goes home was inspired, but even the challenges they put together were stellar. You really got the sense that you were seeing these performers pushed to their limits and giving us everything they’ve got.

The caliber of queens on display consistently churned out jaw-dropping, gag-worthy lewks and showcased some of the most clever, thoughtful entertainment anywhere on television. These are artists in every sense of the word, and it is bonkers to think of a world in which they never got this exposure. Praise Ru.

I already can’t stop fantasy casting All Stars 3. (My fantasy draft would include Ongina, Jessica Wild, Ivy Winters, BenDeLaCreme, Laganja Estranga, Acid Betty, Naomi Smalls, Kim Chi, Dida Ritz and Willam. Leave yours in the comments!)

But enough about the future, we’ve got a finale to recap. Onward, to our spoiler-filled recap, below!

The ladies enter the work room after last week’s shocking elimination, and Alaska is still reeling. Her time in the bottom three last week left her seriously shook, though it was Detox’s surprising choice to save Roxxxy that gagged Ru. Katya reveals she would have sent Roxxxy packing if she had been chosen the lip sync victor. Everyone knows that was the right choice, so it’s not like this causes a big to-do.

Michelle Visage is in the house to give the girls their final challenge. They will be writing and recording their own original rap verses for RuPaul’s new track “Read U Wrote U,” appearing on Ru and Michelle’s podcast, What’s the Tee?, and then performing an elaborately choreographed live lip sync to their raps on the runway.

The final choreo for previous Drag Race seasons (i.e. hairography and chiffonography) and the resulting music videos were always a little cheesy, but choreographer Travis Wall has put together some stunning routines for these pros. Most of the queens do a decent job. The exception is Katya, who blows the competition away with aerial splits and headstands that are sure to steal the show.

She’s also the star of the podcasting segment, carrying on an easy conversation with the hostesses that is alternately heartwarming and hilarious. Very #onbrand for her. Detox is charming as well, discussing the influence of Thierry Mugler on her runway fashión. Although these convos appeared to be the most straightforward component of the challenge, the sitdown with Ru and Michelle sends Alaska for another loop. Ru brings up the RoLaskaTox alliance, and it throws Alaska into a tizzy when she returns to the work room, so much so that she can’t even be in the proximity of Detox and Roxxxy.

It’s not quite as off-putting as her meltdown last week, and it’s certainly a lot shorter. Tensions subside, and humor is back in full-effect when the gals get ready for the runway.

In my favorite one-liner of the night, Roxxxy asks what everyone’s favorite moment of the season was, and Alaska answers with a perfect callback to Roxxxy’s season five villainy, shooting back without missing a beat, “When you were in the bottom two.” I can’t imagine producers didn’t pull some strings to create this moment, but it was still a delicious reminder that Roxxxy Andrews is a rancid, mean queen. #neverforget.

The rapping performance is about ten times better than it needs to be. It is hands-down the most wholly satisfying choreography this show has ever done, and the girls’ rhymes themselves were better than expected.

Sure, Roxxxy stunk up the joint a little, but not enough to bring down the overall show. Only Todrick Hall seems to be truly into her portion of the show, reinforcing my firm belief that he’s got terrible taste and must go. (It also made me long for an alternate world where Alyssa rightfully made the top four and made this super group even more superior.)

Ru asks the queens why they deserve to win. Alaska starts things off with a totally flawless response that name-checks some of Drag Race’s greatest moments and flaunts her fanaticism. Alaska knew (or expected) this question was coming, and she prepared accordingly. Katya also has a bit ready that blends her kooky Russian caricature with an earnest moment of gratitude for Ru helping her believe in herself. It’s sweet and funny and perfect. Detox emphasizes her fashion sense, and Roxxxy, well, who cares?

The judges “deliberate,” but, in true reality-TV fashion, these final deliberations are always crafted to make it seem like every finalist could realistically win, and we all know that’s not the case.

Ru doesn’t even allow Roxxxy to entertain the idea she was a first-runner up. Before the final lip sync, she tells her she hasn’t made the cut, righting last week’s terrible wrong, and leaving us with a final three.

The sync itself is a bit of letdown. Slower numbers rarely provide breakout moments. Tonight’s “If I Were Your Woman” by Gladys Knight and the Pips was a missed opportunity to give these three outstanding performers a chance to do something more dynamic. The only notable choice was Alaska’s deliberate make-up smear. A nice touch, but not particularly thrilling.

And the winner is …

1. Alaska, duh. Her spot at the top of the heap was more than well-earned. Like Bob the Drag Queen’s win last season, Alaska’s victory is the result of a player really studying the game and coming prepared. That’s not to deny her talent and competency. If anything, I think it speaks to her work ethic.

2. It was a close call, but Katya eked out a second-place finish, in my mind. She struggled at times, but she’s got a firm grasp on who she is as a performer. I love what Ru said about her comedy: “Everybody’s invited to the party.” That’s what endears her so much to fans. She also gives the best confessional interviews this side of Bianca del Rio.

3. I’ve got to hand it to Detox. She rode a consistent wave throughout this competition, delivering mostly strong performances in the challenges and slaying the runway week after week. With Alaska getting most of the attention for her dominance, it’s easy to forget that Detox won three challenges and only landed in the bottom once. I still think I’d rather look at Detox than listen to her, but she really stepped her game up this season. I think a lot of folks will look back on her with higher regard because of her performance here.

4. Ugh. Roxxxy. This episode ACHED for Alyssa, and you ruined it. (I know, technically, Detox ruined it, but let me have this.) I’m not buying what you’re selling. I don’t buy your redemption storyline. Even Ru knew your presence in this top four was a travesty. That’s why she gasped when you were saved. That’s why you didn’t even get to lip sync with the other girls. You know if Alyssa was still there, all four of them would have done that lip sync, that is just the truth.

I hate to end on such a sour note. Much like the end of the last Presidential Debate (or the end of a Real Housewives reunion), I have challenged myself to say something nice about Roxxxy so I don’t become one of those social media haters. So, I will say that I think she does makeup real well, she can whip wig around like no other and she seems very sweet to her mother.

That’s all, hennies! See you for season 9!

Did the right queen take the crown? Who would cast in All Stars 3?

SOURCE: TOWLEROAD

RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE ALL STARS: SEASON 2, EPISODE 7 - FAMILY THAT DRAGS TOGETHER

Gather round, chickadees, because we have a lot to discuss after last night’s RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars. Last night’s “Bring Your Family To Werk Day” themed episode started heartwarming, but it took a bitter, bitter turn.

Get ready to gag on the return of Drag Race’s most notorious girl gang, and find out who failed to duckwalk their way into the final four.

As a reminder, this is a BYOP party, bring your own pitchforks, henny. You’re gonna need them.

Things start in the workroom, where Alaska quickly tries to dispel rumors of a RoLaskaTox uprising. No, no, Alaska assures the room. She didn’t save Roxxxy over Tati last week because we’re in cahoots; she did it because Tati wasn’t here for a few weeks, so who knows how she would have fared.

Fair enough (even though, as I pointed out last week, if Tati had been in the bottom two both of the weeks she was absent, she would still only tie Roxxxy in the amount of times in the bottom AND she would have one more win). But, for the sake of argument, let’s just say Alaska was being honest. The reasoning mostly holds up. Katya, bless her, reveals she would have sent Roxxxy home. And rightfully so.

Ru enters to let the ladies know that this week will be makeover week, and it’s going to be a family affair. Mama Ru has invited the moms and sisters of the remaining queens to come be transformed. The pairs will be judged on family resemblance and a special vogue performance. How fun!

Katya’s mom is an adorable little lady. She’s so adorable, she even makes that grating “Bahstan” accent charming.

Alaska’s mom prompts this season’s frontrunner to confess his struggles with substance abuse.

Alyssa and his sister discuss the death of their mother a year ago, while Detox and his sister talk about the recent anniversary of their father’s passing. Roxxxy’s mom (technically her grandmother, but she is the woman who raised Roxxxy) is probably the most likable thing about Roxxxy we’ve seen so far. She even showed up in her own homemade t-shirt.

Their time in the workroom is sweet, if sort of uneventful, save for an appearance by Anastasia Soare, some sort of Romanian eyebrow dominatrix socialite. She could’ve been Katya’s long-lost sister. I want more of her.

But I also want more Aubrey Plaza, this week’s guest judge. In fact, I vote that we send Todrick Hall home and keep Aubrey forever. She’s snappy and clever, but a totally different vibe than Michelle and Carson.

The resulting runway is a lot of fun. Katya and her mom are wonderful, and play to Katya’s campy strengths. Her mom played an actual Russian peasant mother while still serving glamour, and it was great. A real hammer and SICKENING routine. Detox also turned it way up with her sister, going for outrageous artistry like only she can. Alyssa and Roxxxy produced cute, middling routines, but it was our leading lady Alaska that really stumbled.

This led to ‘Laska throwing an all out hissy fit backstage, which was really unattractive. For a competitor that’s been cool as a cucumber the entire competition, it was shocking to see her completely unravel like this. She even (jokingly?) offered Detox $10k to stay in the competition.

Alyssa makes the case that clearly Alaska has been killing it, and it’s only Ms. Edwards second time in the bottom, so the choice should be obvious, right? RIGHT?

Somehow, Roxxxy feels like her safe performance this week cancels out the last few weeks of falling in the bottom.

The queens lip sync, and Detox just kills it. She wisely changed into a new outfit and a perfect Dr. Seuss-esque wig, and she just goes for it. Even the one, well-timed jaw quiver was masterfully deployed. She takes the win and sends home … ALYSSA?! Even Ru gasps in horror.

I guess this really is RuPaul’s Best Friend Race.

As Alaska points out in next week’s preview, this is a repeat of the season five closer: RoLaskaTox and a lovable weirdo are all that remain going into next week’s finale. Let’s size up the competition in our rankings, below.

1. Despite some truly off-putting behavior in tonight’s episode, the season still belongs to Alaska. A win for anyone else at this point just doesn’t feel earned. Even though I think her performance this week was underwhelming, she outpaced the other queens by such a comfortable distance in the preceding episodes that I still think she deserves the crown.

2. I’m loving this more focused Katya. I like that she knows her brand of humor and doesn’t second-guess making some bold choices. Her commercial last week was strong, and I loved the story she told on the runway with her mom. It’s good to see her feeling emboldened to stand up to RoLaskaTox instead of letting that get to her.

3. Well, I guess the top three is sured up now, and it’s Detox snagging the third spot. (Though it’s unclear if a winner will be chosen from the top four or if we’ll whittle down the remaining girls any further first). It goes without saying that I think Detox deserves the spot more than Roxxxy, but I’m not sure she can shake the savvy top two competitors.

4. Alyssa. Yeah, I said it. Her work last night was at least on par with Roxxxy, if not better, and her work throughout the competition far surpassed Roxxxy’s output. In the end, Alyssa is a star, regardless, and for sure one of the all-time favorites in the hearts of fans. She’ll be fine.

5. Roxxxy with her mom was the most endearing version of Ms. Andrews I’ve seen yet. But Roxxxy’s stubborn refusal to acknowledge that, yeah, it was her time to go sent her right back to the bottom of my list. She’s a competent, skilled queen that I just find utterly unlikable. She’s got skill, but she’s just not a star. #sorryboutit

How would you rank the queens?

SOURCE: TOWLEROAD

RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE ALL STARS: SEASON 2, EPISODE 6 - DRAG FISH TANK

Last week’s epic episode not only delivered high drama, but apparently it also served up some seriously high ratings as well. It was such a high-water mark for the series that any follow-up episode was going to feel a little lacking. Last night’s installment turned the work room into more of a boardroom, which is about as much fun as it sounds.

Yes, even drag queens — supposedly our most irreverent artists — are slaves to the marketing machine. Just like bottled water or a bank or Doritos, drag queens also need to worry about their brand. The remaining six queens were tasked with creating a product that represented their personal brand and then filming a commercial.

We’re breaking down the top sellers in our SPOILER-filled recap, and if you order now, we’ll throw in our weekly rankings of the queens at no extra charge. Operators are standing by, below.

I get that RuPaul is very into the importance of branding, and she’s right! Branding is important! And Ru is a great example of someone who truly has built an empire around a very specific and well-developed brand. But! I think it’s a bit of stretch to expect every drag queen to be so savvy. That’s evidenced each time this sort of challenge is presented. Most of these girls have a hard time wrapping their minds around creating this sort of far-flung empire.

It seems like a particularly strange skill to stress, especially when the show has removed most sewing/construction challenges — skills that seem much more relevant and important to a successful drag queen. Whatever. It’s RuPaul’s world, what she says goes and we’re going to roll with it.

Before we get to the meat of the maxi-challenge, we have to confront Phi Phi’s mirror message, I guess. In possibly the most desperate move in a series of really pathetic and desperate moves, she writes one big final mirror message explaining that she avoided hugs, because she was afraid she would cry? Which is strange? Because she hugged everyone else just fine?

In all the absolute garbage reality-TV I’ve mainlined over the years, I don’t know that I’ve ever encountered a character that was at once so hyper-self-aware and lacking all self-awareness all at once. Maybe Honey Boo-Boo? (Like Phi, she did also started as a pageant queen. If I catch Alana doing some kind of 365 Days of Roadkill Instagram series, I’m going to get seriously suspicious.)

Now let’s all agree to never speak of Phi Phi again.

Last night saw the return of the mini-challenge, and boy was it a silly one. Each gal had to whack a ball putt-putt style along a course, through the legs of Pit Crew members and into a hole using only a … well, actually, I don’t know what to call it. It was a sort of pendulum that hung like a super saggy scrotum between their legs.

The resulting game was more croquet than golf (they call it “butt-butt,” but I feel like “crogay” would’ve been better), and it mostly served as an excuse for the gals to rub all up on the Pit Crew. Alaska wins, but it truly does not matter. It just earns her a bunch of designer boy clothes which I am not interested in at all.

About that branding challenge. Ru brings in Marcus Lemonis from CNBC to give overly earnest and serious business advice to these IMAGINARY DRAG QUEEN GAG GIFTS, and all the ladies listen solemnly to his critiques. It’s very strange. I sort of wonder if his appearance was a weird, drag Jedi mind trick.

The queen he tells to scrap her whole idea (Katya) ignores him and ends up in the top, while the one who took his advice (Roxxxy) and the one he liked the most (Tati) were both in the bottom. Go figure! Ru did have to explain how a lace-front wig works to him at one point, so maybe he’s not exactly the most qualified person for this role.

Alaska joins Katya in the top, of course. After a pants (pants, PANTS!) on the runway show, Alaska and Katya serve Joan Jett rock ‘n’ roll lip sync to “Cherry Bomb” with Alaska named the winner. (It was a strange, plodding song to dance to, but Alaska’s final kicks really sold it.) Long live RoLaskaTox, apparently, because she chooses to save Roxxxy, despite this being Ms. Andrews’ fourth time in the bottom. Tatianna is sent packing.

That means there are only five ladies left. Let’s see where they landed in our rankings:

1. I mean, we should just hand the win to Alaska now, right? She is dominating the entire competition, and it doesn’t even seem like she’s breaking a sweat. She even won the nonsensical mini-challenge with ease. Her commercial evidenced a layer of sophistication and vision that no other queen even came close to achieving. I might have wagered her runway look would’ve drawn more criticism than it did, but that American flag reveal was worth the questionable wig.

Considering how much she struggled with choreo during her season, I’m also surprised at how skillfully she’s figured out how to transform her awkward, gangly weaknesses into uniquely entertaining strengths during the lip syncs. She might be unstoppable.

2. The only gal who might pose a threat to Alaska’s assumed victory is Alyssa Edwards. The beloved Texas beauty is adored by the judges (and fans). Now that the majority of acting/comedy challenges are likely behind us, she stands a much stronger chance to outlast her competitors.

3. It was a strong showing from Katya this week, but it didn’t feel as momentous as others’ victories. She wisely ignored the advice of Marcus Lemonis, and her commercial was better for it. She went in with a much more conceptual approach to her ad, but she didn’t stick the landing as well as Alaska.

I love that she incorporated her own struggles with anxiety (very on-brand!), and I enjoyed her spin on a very campy, 1950s sort of commercial for the hopeless housewife. She definitely earned her spot in the top, but I agree she was out ‘synced by Alaska. (That Neve Campbell look was fierce, though.)

4. Was it just me, or was Graham Norton’s criticism of Detox‘s prototype unnecessarily harsh? She’s not an engineer, gurl! It was hokey, but it was cute. I love Detox, and she’s been pretty consistent this whole season. I just haven’t really been blown away yet, and it’s too late now to shake Alaska or Alyssa.

5. Tatianna‘s runway look. Tatianna’s runway look. Tatianna’s! Run. Way. Look! Gagging even doesn’t do it justice. It transported me back in time to when I was a little gay boy spending hours memorizing the entire rap verse to “Waterfalls” instead of going outside to play baseball or whatever. It left me SLAYED (or, one might say, another body laying cold in the gutter). Her commercial was FINE, and she definitely bested Roxxxy on the runway.

I do not understand Alaska’s logic (or should I say choices) here. I see how it was hard to compare apples to apples, since we don’t know how Tati would have performed in the two challenges she missed. But, even if she was in the bottom for both, that still would’ve tied her with Roxxxy for most times in the bottom. Plus, technically Tatianna had one more win than Roxxxy, and her runway was far superior. I am not pleased. Not pleased at all.  Considering how beloved Alaska, Alyssa and Katya already were, I feel like Tati has made the most with her second chance on TV.

6. Ugh, Roxxxy! You were done, I was done, we were all done. It was painful to watch her try to think through her commercial concept, and what was that runway look? She looked like David Beador at theReal Housewives of Orange County ’70s party. No thanks. In the immortal words of NeNe Leakes: “Go home wig. Goodbye wig. Go away. Bye wig.” Unfortunately, next week’s family-themed challenge seems like it might set Roxxxy up for an emotional episode and triumphant victory.

How would you rank the queens this week?

SOURCE: TOWLEROAD

RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE ALL STARS: SEASON 2, EPISODE 5 - REVENGE OF THE QUEENS

I feel like every week of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 2 I’m ready to declare one of the best episodes in history, but this week I really, really mean it. Emmy-winning Mama Ru kept the twists coming, and kept viewers on the edge of their gaff.

Last night’s episode certainly put any lingering hopes for a Phi Phi redemption firmly tucked inside the winter cabin forever. If you thought the face crack heard ‘round the world at the end of last week’s episode was epic, Phi continued to spiral wildly into full-blown reality-TV panic with such fervor, I can’t believe it didn’t blow everyone’s wigs clear off.

These “bring back eliminated queens to partner with” challenges tend to be pretty predictable and unnecessary affairs (I can’t say I was ever desperate to see Tempest Dujour again, sorry!), but the structure of this season has added an additional layer of stakes. Even despite this week’s dreaded “comedy” challenge, the episode felt Ru-per-sized in every way.

OK, let’s unpack all the buffoonery, wiggery and straight-up tomfoolery in SPOILER-filled detail below.

We pick up right where we left off last week, as the remaining queens huddle in the backroom, leaving Phi just enough lace-front to hang herself with. Ms. O’Hara is just unloading on Alyssa, when POOF the eliminated queens (including Alyssa) appear behind the mirror. Busted.

One by one, the eliminated gals re-enter the workroom, all in dramatic two-for-one looks. Alyssa immediately calls Phi out for talking smack and it sends Phi Phi into a total tailspin. It’s both painful and amazing to watch. For all of her silliness, Alyssa comes off super savvy in the whole exchange. Alyssa’s complaint is clear: Why are you so comfortable talking about me behind my back, but you wouldn’t call me out to my face. But Phi Phi, obviously caught in the act, tries to deflect the blame by claiming her sovereign right to having an opinion, completely missing the whole part about how and when she shares that opinion. This isn’t a free speech issue, Phi.

When that logic fails, she trots out that old reality-TV favorite accusation: “Alyssa is playing the victim.” Gurl. This is the queen that’s been crying foul of the edit and being made a villain since she first reappeared. (And she’s been moaning on social media each week as this season unfolded.) It’s a disaster.

Then, for some reason, Ginger feels the need to throw herself onto this dumpster fire. She’s also accusing Alyssa of throwing her under a bus (is the bus still running?), even though Alyssa easily shuts this down by reminding Ging that her compatriot in the bottom the week she was eliminated, Katya, had just won a challenge, so Alyssa felt that she deserved to stay. It’s incredibly sound logic. Ginger is undeterred in her quest to look like a fool, so she then claims that if Alyssa had sent Katya home, she would’ve volunteered to leave in her stead. Has everyone lost their damn mind? Do we need to check the workroom for a gas leak?

Thankfully, Ru enters and stops the insanity. Here’s how this is going to work: The eliminated queens will each pair up with one of the top five for a comedy routine. The eliminated queens pick partners in the order in which they were eliminated. Alyssa wisely snatches Alaska; Ginger pairs with Katya; and Tatianna chooses Detox, claiming “I picked Detox to be my partner because she’s funny, she’s dirty, and she’s not Phi Phi or Roxxxy.” Clever girl. That leaves Coco with Phi Phi and Roxxxy to fly solo, playing the unenviable role of MC.

The queens perform full of the draggerati, including Victoria “Porkchop” Parker, Alexis Matteo, Gia Gunn, Chad Michaels and other Drag Race alums. It’s … a mixed bag at best. As hostess, Roxxxy is a mess. Just a miserable presence every time she’s on stage. Her opening warm-up was clumsy, and she clearly wasn’t comfortable. Then she trotted out her season five character Tasha Salad, whose schtick mostly consists of limp salad puns and a lateral lisp.

Coco also brings out an old favorite: Ru’s cousin from the projects. The character was so much better suited for the roast format, but still manages to wring the only laughs out of an otherwise abysmal performance. Phi decides to play a “chola,” all dark lip-liner and SWV fingernails and, oh yeah, a pregnant belly. I also think she was doing an accent? Sometimes? There’s not even enough thought behind it for it to qualify as offensive or problematic. What’s certain though is that it’s definitely not funny.

To the surprise of no one, Alaska and Alyssa slay the stage. Alaska had the perfect instinct to create lots of space for Alyssa to riff and go off-the-cuff, which works splendidly. Alyssa just struts around the stage Alyssa-ing, while Alaska punches in with quick one- or two-word punchlines. Alyssa may have got more of the laughs, but this was Alaska’s engineering, and it shows.

Katya and Ginger are up next, and, even though I hate agreeing with Ross Matthews, it felt laborious. Ginger’s delivery is so hokey. It all feels very Poconos, cruise ship comedy. Ginger delivers jokes as if she’s waiting for a rimshot between each one. It makes it hard for Katya’s weirder, wilder sense of humor to shine. It wasn’t a catastrophe, but it wasn’t better than fine.

The biggest surprise of the night was Tatianna and Detox. Even though neither gal has really earned a great reputation for this kind of performance, they both knocked it out of the park. Performing as two socialites, they served up bawdy humor, never breaking character and pumping their set with the most purposeful (and successful) jokes of the night. I mean, don’t get me wrong, these gals aren’t going to put Tina Fey/John Mulaney/Louis C.K. out of a job any time soon. This wasn’t subtle (or really “smart” humor). This was DRAG comedy, so it was extra campy and extra filthy. In this context, it was perfect.

The judges bid adieu to Coco and Ginger, awarding Alyssa and Tatianna the win. They get to lip sync for their return, as well as for the opportunity to send home one of the bottom girls, Roxxxy or Phi Phi. Backstage, Phi Phi huffs and puffs about how she’s not going to beg, before relenting to sit down with Alyssa and Tati anyway. Phi digs herself so much deeper by first serving attitude to Alyssa and then talking smack to Tati about Detox. Not smart! Roxxxy, by contrast, might as well start washing their feet with her wigs. The desperation is palpable.

The girls hit the stage for Tati and Alyssa’s earth-shaking lip synch to RiRi’s “Shut Up And Drive.” I never thought I’d say this, but I think Tati out synched Alyssa, but just barely.

Ru agrees. She announces Tatianna as the winner, much to the shock of many viewers. Moments later she reveals Alyssa is also a winner. They both get to stay! And they both get to eliminate a queen. Of course, they both chose Phi Phi, so this season’s villain is finally sent packing. And, just in case there were any doubts that maybe she wasn’t as rotten as she seemed, she flatly refuses to hug Alyssa, but gives all the other queens a hug goodbye. That’s not even shade. That’s sludge.

Whew. We’ve covered a lot of ground already, so let’s just do a quick check in with our rankings.

1. Alaska is still sitting pretty on top. She looked great and played the game like a pro this week. Can anything shake her?

2. They’re not going to bring back girls to send them back right away, and, if Phi Phi got a villain edit this season, Alyssa was certainly made to look like a hero. I’d say her surprise return makes her a lock for the top 3.

3. Since Alaska has dominated all season, I think Katya is going to have a comeback from a few weeks of stumbles. Someone needs to be an underdog, and I think the beloved Katya is our best bet. To be fair, that third spot in the top 3 certainly still feels up for grabs, so we’ll see how things shake out. For now, I’m leaning Katya.

4. It’s a tight race at this point, but I’m giving Detox the slight edge over Tatianna. She really surprised with her performance this week, and she’s been pretty consistent so far.

5. Let’s not count Tatianna out, though. Her Snatch Game was a real missed opportunity, and she can be a little too Forever 21 on the runway, but she’s really been a force to be reckoned with in these challenges. That lip synch last night made me a fan.

6. If hosting is really what Roxxxy does, as she claimed last night, maybe she really should quit her day job. Her departure is long overdue.

How would you rank the queens?

SOURCE: TOWLEROAD

RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE ALL STARS: SEASON 2, EPISODE 4 - DRAG MOVIE SHEQUELS

Y’all, I am SHOOK. Last night’s episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 2 was a rollercoaster of emotion, including one of the most hilarious performances in Drag Race herstory, an innovative runway challenge and a shocking elimination. Plus, a surprise twist ending!

This episode had it all! Let’s discuss!

Still reeling from Ginger’s exit last week, the ladies scuttle into the work room, and it’s quickly clear that Roxxxy and Phi Phi are not pleased with Alyssa’s decision to keep Katya. I still don’t understand why they are so convinced that somehow the winner’s completely subjective assessment of which queen got the harshest critique from the judges on any individual week (which in itself is already not a science) is somehow a much more pure measure of who deserves to win this competition. It’s completely ludicrous, but Phi Phi will not let it go. Alaska stays pretty quiet throughout the conversation, and Detox disagrees but gets where Alyssa was coming from.

Luckily we don’t waste too much of our time rehashing. Instead, we skip the mini-challenge and go right to the maxi. The girls are going to be working in pairs to create “shequels” to some camp classics. Alaska and Alyssa will continue the story of What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? with Wha’ Ha’ Happened To Baby JJ? Phi Phi and Roxxxy will take the tale of Nomi Malone to DIFFERENT! PLACES! withShowsquirrels. And, finally, Detox and Katya are lusty zombie ladies inGrace & Frankie, I mean Velma & Weezy. (Totally random aside: The queens are able to use wigs from Weaven Steven, whom I remember from an appearance on my favorite cycle of America’s Next Top Model where all the models wore hair dresses, and Weaven Steven looked like a total nightmare.)

The first pair to film with Michelle and Toddrick is Katya and Detox. It takes a moment for Katya to find her groove, but she gets there, thanks to some sage acting advice from Toddrick: “One of the first rules of acting is reacting to the other people.” Slow down there, James Lipton, I’m trying to take notes!

Next up, Alaska and Alyssa, and already this looks amazing. Alaska is crushing it, but Alyssa is acting bizarre. Not her usual charming bizarre, just inexplicable. She’s trying to make choices with her character, but they mostly just read as whispering. Not great.

Of the last pair, Phi far outshines Roxxxy (a low bar, I know). Phi, to her credit, painted her face to look precisely what I imagine Elizabeth Berkeley would look like rode hard and put away wet after all these years. In other words, she aged Nomi perfectly. Roxxxy on the other hand struggles to just read basic English words, completely failing to pronounce “sash” without an assist from Michelle.

The resulting videos are stronger than these kinds of things have been in the past. Wha Ha Happened in particular is riotously funny, thanks to Alaska. Even Showsquirrels was pretty entertaining, though I think that sketch had the best moments baked into the writing.Velma & Weezy felt the dullest of the three (and also the only one not to feature a cameo from the Queen of Bounce, Big Freedia — coincidence?).

The runway called for two-looks-in-one, inspired by Violet Chachki’s memorable plaid transformation moment. The judges call out Roxxxy and Katya’s performance shortcomings, as well as Katya’s runway look. Alyssa’s performance and her runway ensemble are both called into question by Michelle, but Carson steps in and tells her that he doesn’t care, because Alyssa is so likable. (There is nothing I like better than a reaction shot of Michelle Visage when someone undermines her authority on the judging panel.) In the end, Ru gives top honors to Alaska and Phi Phi, and she places Roxxxy, Katya and Alyssa in the bottom.

Phi Phi doesn’t even bother meeting with the ladies up for elimination, and, honestly, it’s not like Alaska gets a lot of insight from their chats. Alaska wins the lip sync and surprisingly sends Alyssa packing.

But! Twist! It doesn’t end there. We see the remaining girls head back to the work room to read Alyssa’s farewell message. They start gossiping about Alyssa, and Phi really piles on. But just when she’s like “AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT ALYSSA!” the mirror lights up revealing Alyssa, Ginger, Tatianna and Coco standing behind it. Looks like it’s time to truly bring back Ru’s girls.

Let’s break down where the ladies stand in our rankings:

1.   Calling Alaska the Dustin Hoffman of queens acting is an understatement. She’s the Meryl Streep. She’s the John Malkovich. She’s the f*cking Bette Davis. Every beat of her performance was note-perfect. I could watch her entrance on that scooter on loop forever. Even beyond that, I was in stitches every time she was on screen. Her transformation might not have been as dramatic on the runway (her initial ensemble wasn’t so much a lewk as it was a cover up for the reveal), but it was so worth it for the appearance Lil’ Poundcake. I honestly screamed. Screamed. I’ve watched her runway walk at least five times and laughed the whole time with each viewing. I do NOT understand her choice for the elimination other than some blind adherence to the critique-of-week, which is lame.

2. Maybe it’s strange for me to still put Katya so high in this week’s rankings. In fairness, Detox may have outperformed Katya cumulatively thus far in the competition. The thing is, I don’t think Detox can win this. I don’t think Detox will surge and take the crown. But I do think Katya could. I agree with the judges that her garment didn’t really transform, but her Satanic twist was a delight. It’s the kind of wink-wink that RuPaul rewards.

3. I don’ t know, Detox, I feel like an “Asian-inspired” look like this is already problematic, but, on this show, boy, does it open up the floor for a lot of lazy, lazy puns. Beyond that, Detox did a decent job in the challenge, but I didn’t find her two-for-one look to be that much of a showstopper. I expected something so much more inventive here. Be better, Detox. Be better, everyone.

4. Maybe I’ve been a bit of a Phi Phi apologist the last few weeks, but honestly, compared to Roxxxy, I feel she is the lesser of the two evils. Maybe it’s the edit, maybe she’s being outshone by her far more charismatic and likable competition, but she officially squandered whatever goodwill she may have earned thus far tonight with her unrelenting harping about “changing the game.”  All that aside, I think her acting was better than fine, and her transformation on the runway was greater than the sum of its parts. That lip synch was lip-sunk from the jump-off when she decided she was going to give us a totally earnest performance of the iconic Carrie Bradshaw “fashion roadkill” soundtrack, Cheryl Lynn’s “Got To Be Real.” Yawn. Pass.

5. I’ve been saying it for weeks, and it pains me to be on same side of herstory as Phi Phi, but Alyssa really struggles to be funny, like, on purpose. And look! I love Alyssa! I do! I would pay to see her! I would drive cross-country with her! I would split a Fire Island share! But when she tries to be intentionally funny, it’s just … strange. Michelle was right to call it out on the runway. I still don’t think she belonged in the bottom, let alone eliminated tonight. Roxxxy’s and Katya’s spots felt earned, even if it would’ve been a less dramatic face-off. Honestly, given the twist ending tonight, I think Alyssa has the strongest chance of coming back and maybe even winning this whole damn thing. A preview for next week (the only reason to watch television’s least exciting circle jerk, Finding Prince Charming, is to catch previews for All Stars) alludes to lip synching for a chance to return. Alyssa’s got that in the bag.

6. Roxxxy proved once again exactly why she cannot be America’s Drag Superstar, let alone an All Star champion: She cannot act. She can’t! And it’s not like she needs to become a master actress. This isn’t Boyhood (which Ru would definitely remake and call Gurlhood). I mean, take an improv class. Something. She knew this would be an issue. I will say that I think, judging the garment alone, Roxxxy had the most successful two-for-one lewk. Then again, I’m a sucker for a Selena-inspired jumpsuit, always. I just cannot take her seriously as a contender.

How would you rank the queens?

SOURCE: TOWLEROAD