BEYOND PRIDE MONTH: MAKE RAINBOW CROSSWALKS PERMANENT

A little over a month ago, I started a campaign to get Atlanta to commit to permanent rainbow and/or transgender pride–colored crosswalks at the intersection of 10th and Piedmont, a location many consider to be the epicenter of the city’s LGBTQ community.

My petition, which was hosted on Care2, received over 20,000 signatures, including that of Atlanta City Council President Ceasar Mitchell, who signed it publicly. It culminated in a huge success: Mayor Kasim Reed announced his commitment to make the rainbow crosswalks permanent June 12, the anniversary of the Pulse nightclub massacre.

But many have questioned why colors painted on asphalt are so important, and if this is really an expedient use of our city’s time, effort, and resources.

To determine the answer, we need only listen to the vast array of LGBTQ stories around us, past and present.

Recently, former New England Patriots and Kansas City Chiefs offensive lineman Ryan O’Callaghan came out as gay. He told reporters that prior to coming out, he had planned to commit suicide.

Then there’s Leelah Alcorn, a transgender girl from Ohio. Her 2014 death gained international attention after her suicide note revealed her parents had pulled her out of school, revoked her access to social media, and sent her to Christian-based conversion therapy instead of allowing her to transition.

Then there are the stories you may not have heard about: Laura Vermont, an 18-year-old trans woman savagely beaten and killed by Brazilian military police in 2015. Chay Reed, a 28-year-old trans woman shot to death in Miami this year. Jaquarrius Holland (Brown), an 18-year-old trans woman shot in the head in Monroe, La., February 19. Mesha Caldwell, 41, a makeup artist and trans woman found shot multiple times on a road in Mississippi January 4.

Do I really need to go on?

I want to live to see the day when stories like this are no longer part of the LGBTQ experience. But LGBTQ people still suffer under our society’s taboos, the voices that hush them, the hands that push them away from being who they truly are.

It’s not just about some colors on a street. Pride crosswalks are a simple, but affirming recognition of the existence of the LGBTQ community — a community that throughout American history has been largely ignored, disenfranchised, or regarded as taboo.

In some states, it is still illegal to educate young people on the history of LGBTQ civil rights. Most Americans do not fully grasp the history of culturally significant events like the Stonewall riots.

Will rainbow-colored crosswalks fix this? No. But recently the tide has begun to turn. In Washington, D.C., last week, a separate Care2 petition was successful in securing the very first transgender pride crosswalk in the country, albeit temporary.

Gestures like this normalize the LGBTQ community, reaffirming that we are not to be ignored, but we are to be celebrated, seen, heard, and loved.

I hope rainbow crosswalks will open the door to broader conversations about issues facing the LGBTQ community at home in Atlanta and elsewhere.

About a year ago, shortly after the Pulse shootings, I went down to 10th and Piedmont for a candlelight vigil. It is a night I don’t think I will ever forget. Among myself and my friends were our peers, our allies; uniting to show their sympathy for people they had never even met.

That event solidifies why these crosswalks are so important to me. LGBTQ pride is about the similarities we all share. We all want to be recognized, accepted, and loved. These crosswalks are a way to help us remember that our society is only as strong as what we choose to honor.

SARAH ROSE is an Atlanta-based musician and is the LGBTQ issues aAdvocate at Care2, the world’s largest social network for good. Care2 boasts over 40 million members standing toether, starting petitions, and sharing stories that inspire action.

SOURCE: THE ADVOCATE

THE DOs & DON'Ts OF DISCUSSING HIV

With HIV diagnoses up by 132.5 percent among young gay and bisexual men since the 21st century began, it has never been more evident that conversations about HIV among young people are painfully needed. And the best way for these discussions to begin is by empowering newly HIV-positive folks to use their voices to bring awareness to the communities they occupy. This, however, is easier said than done for many living with the virus due to the fear of being stigmatized for being HIV-positive by their family and friends. In order to foster an environment where people living with HIV feel comfortable talking about their experiences, here is a list of things you should never say to someone with HIV, and some helpful alternatives you may want to ask.

Don’t Ask: Have you learned your lesson?
This type of question is exactly the reason why people are afraid to talk about HIV in the first place. HIV isn’t a punishment and no one deserves to contract it. So quit talking about it like it is a consequence of being a bad person.

Do Ask: How are you handling it?
This will give your friend the opportunity to elaborate on the feelings he or she is going through. This is your opportunity to learn how they are dealing with the shame and self-stigma that they might be experiencing. This is also where you can learn how to affirm your friend in the way he or she needs at that time.

Don’t Ask: Who did you get it from?
Chances are they got it from someone they had sex with … duh. Don’t be rude by asking a person who is opening up to you about details that they may or may not be sure of. Instead, ask them how they are feeling. If your friend is comfortable talking about the details of transmission, they will bring it up on their own.

Do Ask: How long have you been dealing with this?
This provides a chance for you to learn how long your friend has been living with HIV without any support. Try following up with questions about who else he or she has confided in so you can possibly help with facilitating more opportunities for your friend to disclose their status in a safe and stigma-free environment.

Don’t Ask: (If they are in a relationship) Is your boyfriend or girlfriend HIV-positive as well?
Although you may be surprised, this is irrelevant to the conversation. Your friend is revealing his or her status, but it is not his or her place to reveal someone else’s. Don’t put them in an awkward situation of having to disclose their partner’s status if they aren’t comfortable doing so.

Do Ask: How are you protecting yourself from transmitting?
It is OK to be concerned about the health and safety of your friend, and that includes his or her risk of transmitting the virus to someone else. But make sure you do so in a way that doesn’t assume that they aren’t being safe. This question will give your friend the opportunity to share with you their safe sex practices and will allow you to lend your insight to the conversation without a judgmental tone.

Don’t Ask: Will you get AIDS?
Chances are, your friend will not be diagnosed with AIDS, which is merely a term used to classify the advanced stages of HIV. The term “AIDS” was created when HIV medications where not as effective as they are now. When a person’s T-cell count would dip below 200, they would receive an AIDS diagnosis, which meant that their body’s immune system was now vulnerable to opportunistic infections that could be fatal. The management of HIV has drastically changed since these days of AIDS, so you can wipe the term from your vocabulary.

Do Ask: How are you doing with your treatment?
A person who is diagnosed with HIV today can now expect to live a normal lifespan, but only if they enter treatment and stay on their medication. Unfortunately, only 30 percent of people living with HIV are properly managing their health, which often means as little as quarterly doctor’s visits and taking one pill a day. Make sure your friend is taking care of himself or herself properly and encourage them to invest in their health if they need it. 

SOURCE: THE ADVOCATE

9 'BAD' HABITS KILLING LGBT PEOPLE

While we have plenty of people trying to do harm to us because of our sexual orientation or gender identity, we often don't do ourselves any favors when it comes to self care. Here are the bad habits we should have given up last century:

1.   We drink too much.
Heavy drinking and binge boozing is more prevalent among lesbians than straight women, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Bisexual women also report more hazardous drinking than their straight and lesbian counterparts. Binge drinkers run the risk of liver, pancreatic, and esophageal cancers. 

2.   We have risky sex.
Men who have sex with men are at increased risk of contracting STIs like HIV and HPV, which can cause anal and oral cancer. When it comes to HIV, gay and bisexual men accounted for 48 percent of the more than 1 million people living with the disease in the U.S., according to a 2006 study by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. The research also found that 53 percent of newly diagnosed HIV-positive people were gay or bi. Another risk group is bisexual women, who, when compared with straight women and lesbians, exhibit the highest rates of alcohol and substance abuse, which can lead to risky sex.

3.   We party excessively.
Studies show that gay men use illicit drugs at a higher rate than the general population. “Gay men are significantly more likely to have used marijuana, stimulants, sedatives, cocaine, and party drugs (ecstasy, ketamine, and GHB)," according to the Pride Institute. "The use of crystal meth in gay and bisexual men has increased dramatically in recent years as well.” Substance abuse was also found in an alarming rate within the transgender community, ranging anywhere from four to 40 percent of respondents. 

4.   We use steroids.
In an effort to sport perfect bodies, more and more gay men are resorting to steroid use before hitting the gym. Gay and bisexual teens are more than six times more likely to abuse steroids than their straight peers, according to a recent study by the Fenway Institute. The effects on your health can be long-lasting — heart disease, hypertension, insomnia, depression and suicidal thoughts, and dangerous rages have been reported by users.

5.   We obsess about body image.
Problems with body image are more prevalent among gay men than their straight peers, leading to eating disorders like bulimia and anorexia. The National Eating Disorders Organization reports that gay men are disproportionately found to have body image disturbances and eating disorder behavior when compared with straight men. Gay men are thought to only represent about five percent of the total male population, but 42 percent of men with eating disorders identify as gay.

6.   We still smoke.
Smoking rates among lesbian women are nearly double that of heterosexual women, according to SAMHSA studies. By comparison, gay men reported using tobacco at a 50 percent higher rate than straight men. Within the transgender community, studies suggest that tobacco use can range from 45 to 75 percent. Smoking reduces life expectancy by at least a decade.

7.   We stay in abusive relationships.
More than half of gay and lesbian couples (56.4 percent) and 47.4 percent of bisexual adults reported experiencing some form of domestic violence — compared with just 17.5 percent of straight couples who reported the same. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released a study in 2010 and they found that “bisexual women had an overwhelming prevalence of violent partners in their lives: 75 percent had been with a violent partner, as opposed to 46 percent of lesbian women, and 43 percent of straight women. For bisexual men, that number was 47 percent. For gay men, it was 40 percent, and 21 percent for straight men.”

8.   We don't go in for regular health check-ups.
Lesbians and bisexual women are less likely to get routine screenings, pap tests, mammograms, and clinical breast exams, according to Womenshealth.gov. And according to the Center for American Progress, due to “low rates of health insurance coverage, high rates of stress due to systematic harassment and discrimination, and a lack of cultural competency in the health care system, LGBT people are at a higher risk for cancer, mental illnesses, and other diseases, and are more likely to smoke, drink alcohol, use drugs, and engage in other risky behaviors.”

9.   We suffer from depression.
Internalized homophobia, social stigma, and fear of rejection by family members are just a few of the reasons LGBT people decide not to come out. Studies show that living in the closet can have a detrimental effect on our emotional well-being, causing higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide. LGB youth are four times more likely to commit suicide than straight teens and pre-teens, according to the Trevor Institute. A study of transgender people found a staggering 41 percent have attempted suicide at least once.

SOURCE: THE ADVOCATE

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK'S SAMIRA WILEY & LAUREN MORELLI TIE THE KNOT

Samira Wiley, the star of Orange is the New Black, and Lauren Morelli, a writer on the show, got married Saturday in Palm Springs, Calif.

The wedding, which was confetti-themed, was officiated by Wiley's parents, reported Martha Stewart Weddings. The couple's song at the wedding during the recessional was Montell Jordan's "This Is How We Do It," while the song that played during their receptance entrance was Justin Bieber's "Baby." 

The location where the wedding took place was also the same location where Morelli first asked Wiley to marry her. This is Morelli's second marriage after she divorced her husband when she realized she was queer, back in 2012, reported People. Morelli and Wiley met while working on Orange is the New Black together. 

SOURCE: THE ADVOCATE

WHY BLACK GAY FILMMAKER MARLON RIGGS MATTERS NOW

During the 1992 presidential primaries, Pat Buchanan, seeking the Republican Party's nomination, used an unauthorized clip from Tongues Untied to blast the National Endowment for the Arts and attack George H. W. Bush. 

Documentary filmmaker Marlon Riggs’s masterpiece — exploring black gay identity and experience through storytelling, poetry, movement, and expression — premiered on PBS the year before. At least 17 stations refused to air it. 

The controversy surrounding the work revolved around some profanity, a drawing of a penis, and depictions of black men kissing. Buchanan, the Christian Coalition, and the American Family Association sought to use the film to defund the NEA.

Tongues Untied would become weaponized in the culture war. The brilliant work was condemned as pornography by the right wing and debated in the halls of Congress, when Sen. Jesse Helms of North Carolina used it to argue against funding the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. 

Despite the fact that only $5,000 in NEA funds was used to produce Tongues Untied, the film became front and center in the debate against arts funding. And Riggs became the lightning rod.

Riggs — a talented master of rhetoric himself, and far from a shrinking violet — fired back with an op-ed in The New York Times. In “Meet the New Willie Horton,” he accused Buchanan of “ruthless exploitation of race and sexuality to win high public office.” (Riggs was referring to a deeply racist and exploitive ad run by Bush’s 1988 campaign against Michael Dukakis. It insinuated that the then-governor was responsible for letting convicted killer Horton out of jail, only for him to rape a woman and assault her fiancé.)

By framing himself as “the new Willie Horton,” Riggs recast the public narrative from arts funding to how America’s racist fears are exploited by politicians. The condemnation of Tongues Untied was not just about art, but about stoking white fears of black sexuality. White fear has been a winning strategy for conservative politicians since the birth of American democracy. And it is still working.

For Riggs, who was a prophet as much as an artist, the culture war waged against him — and the blatant distortion of his work — was never just about arts funding; it was always about race, always about sexuality.

Riggs was the rare black artist who created work not for white pity or pleasure, but for black affirmation. This is how a black artist responds to a repressive regime. Tongues Untied is exemplary of this, but it’s not his only work. In his stunning nonfiction films, Riggs provides a people’s history of 1980s and ’90s AIDS activism. In No Regret, for example, black gay men tell their stories and speak candidly about HIV. This counters the prevailing notion, from movement history gatekeepers, that black people were mostly silent around HIV in the early days of the epidemic. Riggs’s work provides both evidence and testimony of our existence. We fought on the frontlines, too. 

Like his contemporaries of the era, Craig Harris and Joseph Beam, Riggs was a pro-feminist black gay man whose work, particularly Black Is... Black Ain’t, might be viewed as one of the early foundational texts of intersectionality. Black Is… features such acclaimed scholars and activists as bell hooks, Angela Davis, Cornel West, and Essex Hemphill; critiquing the contours and borders of black identity and imagining broader and more inclusive possibilities of our race. 

I am troubled that a lot of emerging black HIV activists don’t know about Riggs and his legacy. Whenever someone says “there isn’t a black community, but black communities,” they are in part invoking his legacy.  

SOURCE: THE ADVOCATE

IS THIS RAUNCHY MUSIC VIDEO ARE OF EXPLICIT CONTENT?

BRENDAN MACLEAN // House of Air (NSFW) from Brian and Karl on Vimeo.

Is it art? Is it pornography? Is it both?

A sex-filled music video by Australian musician Brendan Maclean, "House of Air," has sparked a storm of controversy and left viewers asking where the line should be drawn. 

Blurring the boundaries between the educational and obscene, the video, which bills itself as "an anthropological study of gay semiotics, taxonomies, and sexual behaviours," shows acts of oral sex, anal sex, anilungus, piss play, and scat performed by adult film actors. 

Interspersed are textual lessons from the handbook Gay Semiotics by Hal Fischer, which explain the rules of queer cruising and the meanings of the "hankie code" — a secret sartorial language in which gay men communicate sexual preferences by the color of the handkerchief they display.

Brian Fairbairn and Karl Eccleston, who directed the video, released a project in 2015 that was similar in style. The short film Polari   educated viewers about a secret language used by gay men in England, although it was far less explicit.

YouTube has deemed "House of Air" more pornographic than artful. The social media platform removed the video this week for violating its policy on depictions of nudity and sexual content — but not before it had racked up around 700,000 page views since its release January 30.

However, Maclean is defending the piece as art. In an op-ed for The Guardian, Maclean recalls asking himself "not, 'Have I taken this music video too far?' but instead, 'Have I taken this far enough?'"

And for those "pearl clutchers" who asked "why" he would push the envelope as far as he did, Maclean responded, "Well ... why not?"

Citing unabashedly queer pioneers like George Michael, Maclean argued that it is the purpose of art to push against the rules of decency as well as the squeaky-clean image of LGBT people advanced by social movements like the fight for marriage equality. To ignore sex, he maintained, is to be dishonest about LGBT history.

"There are some queer artists who would find it easier to shave off the rough corners of our history, to wave our flag but leave out some of the colours that don’t sell to a straight crowd," he said. "But frankly, anything beyond the whole truth sanitises our history, and makes it boring. And if there’s one thing queer history isn’t, it’s boring."

Maclean, who claimed he has received "five email hacks, two death threats and one online protest video from Brazil" in response to the video, asked viewers to put their priorities in perspective.

"Tell me what’s really more upsetting, my film clip or the fact Donald Trump is the president of the United States?"

SOURCE: THE ADVOCATE

PULSE SURVIVORS MARCH IN ROSE PARADE

Survivors of the Pulse massacre took center stage at the 128th Rose Parade.

Victor Baez Febo and Isaiah Henderson waved to the cheering crowd Monday at the annual New Years Day celebration in Pasadena, Calif. They rode on a float commissioned by the AIDS Healthcare Foundation and Impulse Group United, which honored the 49 victims and dozens of survivors of last year's shooting at the Pulse Nightclub.

Survivor Jahqui Sevilla and Pulse's owner Barbara Poma were also on the float, according to a press release from AHF. Other riders — who had aided in Orlando's healing and recovery — included Patty Sheehan, an out city commissioner of the Florida city, case worker and HIV counselor Joel Morales, and Impulse Group Orlando's president Corey Lyons and vice president Gustavo Marrero.

The float, titled "To Honor and Remember Orlando" and created by Fiesta Parade Floats of Irwindale, featured a large dove as a symbol of peace; twice throughout the march, 49 live doves were released in honor of the victims. A rainbow served as a symbol of the LGBT community. Real-life messages of sorrow and solidarity were also tied to a "tree of life."

Lyons said that while the float honored the dead, it also spoke to the struggles yet to come for the living in the fight for equality.

“We must not lose sight of the fact that this beautiful float also serves as a solemn and sacred reminder to millions of parade viewers around the world that the stigma and discrimination that led to this attack are not over — the fight goes on, and we must be vigilant in speaking out and speaking out against such bigotry, hatred and injustice,” said Lyons.

The Rose Parade presented by Honda, whose theme this year was "Echoes of Success," honored AHF with its Lathrop K. Leishman prize for "most beautiful noncommercial float." The 5.5-mile march is usually held on January 1, yet a "never on a Sunday" tradition postponed the festivites one day this year.

Watch the parade here from KTLA, a local CW affiliate. The Pulse float and dove release can be viewed at around 10:16.

SOURCE: THE ADVOCATE

SAME-SEX DOMESTIC VIOLENCE REMAINS ON THE DOWN LOW

Every Monday morning Alex (name changed for anonymity) and I met for breakfast at our favorite dive in Boston's Harvard Square.

I would notice visible bruises and cuts on his face, arms, and legs, but assumed the black and blue marks were simply par for the course for a guy who enjoyed the rough-and-tumble adrenaline high that come with playing weekend scrimmage football. I don't recall a time when Alex didn’t have a knot on his head, a cut on his lip, a bite into his skin, welts on his arms, or stitches. I did notice over time, however, that the teddy bear sweet guy who sat across the table from me with a smile as wide as the Charles River looked beaten up rather than injured. When I began asking Alex about his bruises he shrugged off my queries and talked about something else. Some Monday mornings he would call me at the last minute to cancel or he wouldn't show up at all.

One morning he called me to cancel, telling me he was in Mount Auburn Hospital. His partner had stabbed him, injuring him severely.

October is Coming Out Month, and it is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Within lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer communities of color, not enough information and statistics come out about domestic violence. And neither does attention, education, intervention, and advocacy to prevent it.

The topic lives so deeply on the “down low” that I missed the signs from Alex.

It's estimated that 25 percent to 33 percent of the LGBTQ population will experience some form of partner abuse or domestic violence in their lifetime. The Inter-Personal Violence study conducted in 2011 stated that LGBTQ communities of color are one of the demographic groups experiencing a high incidence of domestic violence. However, it's often hard to determine accurately how prevalent interpersonal violence is in these communities because of social stigmas and cultural taboos that prevent people from accurately reporting abuse. Other forms of oppression and discrimination figure in this as well.

What also prevents the gathering of accurate data in these communities of color is that same-gender interpersonal violence is clouded with myths. There is a belief that because the victim and the abuser are of the same gender, and are also in a consensual sexual relationship, the battering that occurs starts out as a mutual act of S&M. Another myth is that same-gender sexual abuse is not as bad because men and men and women and women are on equal playing field when it comes to defending themselves. Sadly, these untruths still abound among many health care workers and law enforcement officials.

Domestic violence is not only an act of physical violence; it can also be an act of sexual violence as well as mental violence such as threatening and stalking.

Because Alex wasn't out to his team, his partner — an effeminate male who couldn't simply be introduced as just a buddy without suspicion — could only watch him play from a distance. Alex's partner’s eyes turned suspicious as he witnessed friendly, innocent pats on the butt during games. And he began stalking Alex. On the morning we were to meet, his partner accused him of an affair and a fight ensued.

Alex was seen several times for his scrapes, cuts, and bruises in the same emergency room at the same hospital. However, with violence associated with young black males, the protocol and treatment for domestic violence-related injuries in inner-city hospitals for these patients are rarely introduced or followed up.

Another major problem is the lack of police intervention.

The police were called to the house several times by both Alex and his partner. If they came at all, they were coming to the call of an interracial couple in distress. However, when the cops looked at Alex — African-American, 6 foot 2,' and 200 pounds — and then his partner — white, 5 foor 9, and 160 pounds — judgment was rendered as to who was the abuser.

In same-race relationships, many victims will often not prosecute their partners for fear of community abandonment, isolation, and scorn. Rather, some rationalize the violence as the root cause of persistent micro and macrolevels of racism their partner encounters.

But not all LGBTQ people of color feel that way.

"People of color are expected to stay silent in the face of violence and as part of the LGBTQ community the silence becomes louder when law-enforcement, judicial, and political figures ignore our calls for help," Sean Smith wrote in his 2013 article "Imprisoned by Violence: Domestic Violence in the (Black) LGBT Community." "Not having power over our own behaviors and emotions causes us to exert dominating and violent attitudes within our community and toward our partners."

 

Resources and services have to be made available to LGBTQ communities of color. And this is the time to reach out to us. Everyone deserves a safe, loving, healthy, and violence-free relationship.

SOURCE: THE ADVOCATE

FRANK OCEAN'S POEM ABOUT HIS BOYFRIEND

A Grammy-winning male singer-songwriter has written a poem about his boyfriend, and in 2016, that's still news. 

Frank Ocean released two albums (one of them in the form of a film) and a zine within a 48-hour period, starting Friday. Fans have anticipated his album all year, but the release date kept being pushed back. Boys Don't Cry, Ocean's zine that was sold at pop-up shops throughout the country, features an essay the singer-songwriter penned about his love for cars, a poem called "Boyfriend," and a poem by Kanye West about McDonald's, among other ephemera, photographs, and art. 

Despite the rising visibility of queer singers, its not common to hear a major mainstream artist acknowledge same-sex love in a song or, in Ocean's case, a poem. Most notably, Sam Smith, the out British singer-songwriter, has been criticized for not using male pronouns in his music. Instead the English singer prefers to use gender-neutral pronouns in his songs. 

Ocean first shattered the queer glass ceiling in popular music back in 2012 when he penned a personal essay describing the first time he fell in love. The singer opened up about falling for another man. The R&B singer has been pushing that queer ceiling open since. 

In a thoughtful essay published soon after the Orlando mass shooting, Ocean recounted the first time he heard the word "faggot" used as an insult, by his father. "I was six years old when I heard my dad call our transgender waitress a faggot as he dragged me out a neighborhood diner saying we wouldn’t be served because she was dirty," he wrote. "That was the last afternoon I saw my father and the first time I heard that word, I think, although it wouldn’t shock me if it wasn’t."

In the same essay, Ocean wrote about people hating "us" and wishing "we" didn't exist, including himself as a member of the LGBT community: "Many are annoyed by our wanting to be married like everyone else or use the correct restroom like everyone else. Many don’t see anything wrong with passing down the same old values that send thousands of kids into suicidal depression each year."

In "Boyfriend," he takes the reader back to June 2015 and the monumental Supreme Court marriage equality decision:

i could say that i'm happy
they let me and my boyfriend become married
i could say that i'm happy
but cross my heart i didn't notice
hope to die no never, we voted
me and my boyfriend cast our ballot
every kiss reads like a poem
making wrongs right like a poem

Ocean describes the process of working on his new album Blonde as "romantic" in another essay from Boys Don't Cry. He writes about his obsession with cars and how Raf Simons, a Belgian fashion designer, called it cliché. "Maybe it links to a deep subconscious straight boy fantasy," Ocean writes. "Consciously though, I don't want straight — a little bent is good."

Read the full poem below.

"Boyfriend" by Frank Ocean

my boyfriend drives a lil bucket
when it rain it fills up with rain
my boyfriend he gon pick me up
don't distract him at the wheel
in his lane
he's the only one

my boyfriend he misses me when i'm gone
so he don't forget me
there's a song he sings
calms his nerve, endings
my boyfriend is friendly
and we don't want no problems

i could say that i'm happy
they let me and my boyfriend become married
i could say that i'm happy
but cross my heart i didn't notice
hope to die no never, we voted
me and my boyfriend cast our ballot
every kiss reads like a poem
making wrongs right like a poem

i couldn't say i dream of you
because my dreams are filled with no one
and all is lost
me and my boyfriend we found
we don't hope for beyonds at all
me and my boyfriend spend time
and that's all i'm holding on
this time

we got permission
nothing's above condition
but this ain't a thang
it's a mission

can't join the band so sing along
me and my boyfriend got it going on
sleep with fans and t shirts on
asleep in vans your legs all strewn
across my laptan lines where your watch was strapped

you took off to make time

cut your hair
you left it long
i love to stare
there's nothing wrong
and if i die while i'm asleep
i pray to God my boyfriend
keeps my secret
peace

SOURCE: THE ADVOCATE

THE CDC PAINTS A DARK PICTURE FOR LGB YOUTH, BUT DON'T DESPAIR

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention just released the results of the Youth Risk Behavior Study that measures results among lesbian, gay, and bisexual high school students. This survey measures a variety of risks, ranging from substance use to seat belt utilization. Most importantly for the Trevor Project, the study identifies the prevalence of suicidal thoughts, plans, behaviors, and attempts.

While the study has previously taken some measurement of the risk behaviors of LGB youth in a few states and large cities, the 2015 data, released today, is unique because it is the first body of knowledge on this topic that depicts a nationally representative sample of LGB youth. Although it is progress that some nonstraight sexualities have been included in this study, we recognize that the wide spectrum of sexualities and gender identities have yet to be studied. More data needs to be collected on transgender youth, as nearly half of young transgender people have seriously thought about taking their lives, and one quarter report having made a suicide attempt.

It is devastating to note in CDC’s study that in the last year, 43 percent of LGB students in grades 9-12 seriously considered suicide, 38 percent made a suicide plan, and nearly 30 percent attempted suicide. The CDC has further identified that LGB students are more than four times more likely than their straight peers to have a suicide attempt severe enough to require medical attention. This 2015 study shows that lesbian, gay, and bisexual students are as much as three times more likely to experience physical and sexual dating violence than their heterosexual peers. As the only national accredited suicide prevention and crisis intervention service for LGBTQ youth, the Trevor Project knows that when combined with other risk factors and a lack of support, such violence can put young people at high risk for suicide. These rates are significantly higher than those of heterosexual students, demonstrating the increased attention that needs to focus on these vulnerable populations. 

While incredibly informative about prevalence, the study does not report on the causes of these challenges. There are certainly many contributing factors to consider, but it is also very important to note what can be done to foster resilience and safety for LGB youth. Families, schools, and communities must come together to reduce the risk for LGBTQ youth suicide by creating safe environments, helping youth connect to family, peers, and other caring adults who can provide support and links to services. You can take part in improving the lives of 1.3 million high school students who report being LGBTQ by showing them that you care about their mental health:

·         Connect youth to Trevor’s crisis services. We save young lives 24/7 at (866) 488-7386;TrevorChat.org is available 3-9 p.m. Eastern and noon-6 p.m. Pacific daily, and youth can text Trevor to (202) 304-1200 Thursday and Friday 4-8 p.m. Eastern and 1-5 p.m. Pacific. Young people can also find friends on our online safe supportive communityTrevorSpace.org as well as resources at our Support Center.

·         Create classrooms of peers who are better equipped to help through acceptance and support with Lifeguard, Trevor’s free online suicide prevention and crisis intervention education program for middle and high school students.

·         Advocate for the adoption of comprehensive, inclusive suicide prevention policies in school districts around the country and encourage the use of our Model School Policy, which can help school districts draft suicide prevention, intervention, and postvention policies based on their specific needs.

Help create a brighter future for LGBTQ youth by showing them that despite discrimination, violence, and victimization, LGBTQ youth can thrive, they matter, and they deserve support. More resources available at TheTrevorProject.org.

ABBE LAND is the executive director and CEO of the Trevor Project.

SOURCE: THE ADVOCATE