¿HEY 'TOPS' DO YOU AVOID BOTTOMING BECAUSE...?

It hurts? 

You tense up?

Not enough practice?

Never enough lube?

Lack or patience from the person that is topping you?

EROGENOUS ZONES: EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW

While certain bits of anatomy (ahem, genitalia) are well-known as sites of sexual pleasure, getting turned on doesn't have to be limited to below the belt. Other areas of the human body have a high concentration of nerve endings, so they're particularly sensitive to touch, pressure, or vibration. These so-called "erogenous zones" can contribute to sexual arousal—think of them as the road map to a happy ending.

The human body's erogenous zones might seem like a topic worthy of a Cosmo article, but this information matters for several reasons. Knowing these "hot spots" is a plus for both your partner and yourself—who would say no to a boost in sexual satisfaction? Identifying different erogenous zones also may improve sexual health; some research suggests that stimulating different spots may produce different reactions in the body. For example, touching the vagina appears to set off the release of the feel-good hormone prolactin, while the cervix may be involved in controlling muscle tension during sex. Understanding erogenous zones is also important to make sure that people undergoing gender reassignment surgery or breast augmentation don't lose significant sexual function. 

SEX & YOUR BIGGEST MISCONCEPTIONS...

Between personal desires, dating norms, and physiological logistics, getting it on can be surprisingly complicated. Add in all the false information that’s floating around out there, and we’re all pretty much screwed (and not in the good way).

What do you think is the biggest misconception about sex, is it?

1. Everyone is having more sex than you?

2. There is a definition for “normal” sex when it comes to gay men?

3. If you have sex right away, that signals something huge about the relationship?

4. Sex should be spontaneous and unplanned?

5. Tops/bottoms always want sex, and tops/bottoms rarely enjoy it?

6. Sex has to be super romantic and intimate every time?

7. Monogamy is easy?

8. You should always give back in bed?

9. Good sex has to end in an orgasm?

10. If you're both really into each other, sex will automatically be great?

SEX, ORAL & ANAL...

Do you always have sex with anal penetration or do you prefer sometimes just oral sex?

7 TIPS FOR DEEP-THROATING

It is difficult for most people (except true bottom cocksuckers) to perform deep-throating, due to the natural gag reflex evoked when the soft palate is touched.Different people have different sensitivities to the reflex; with practice some people learn to suppress it. Deep-throating leads to an entirely different kind of oral stimulation in comparison to regular fellatio, while the giving partner’s tongue is immobilized during deep-throating and they are unable to suck the receiver’s glans penis is intensely stimulated by the tightness of the giving partner’s throat.

Here are some tips for the perfect deep-throating: 

1-Relaxation of the throat muscles of the giving partner is the most important aspect of positioning.

2-One common position is to align the giving partner’s mouth and throat into a straight line (like a sword swallower)

3-Many different positions are possible. “Over-the-edge” is a common position for deep-throating. In this position, the receiving partner lies on their back with the head hanging off the edge of the bed and the giving partner stands or kneels in front of the receiving partner’s face lining up their penis at mouth level. (see picture above)

4-Another common position used for deep-throating involves the receiving partner sitting on the giving partner’s chest, with the receiving partner’s feet or penis in front of the giving partner. During regular deep-throating, the giving partner is in control, while deep throat penetration by an actively thrusting partner is called irrumatio.

5-Penis givers, be a little aggressive while pushing it, it will go deeper!

6-Throat givers, try to surrender a bit, they will love it!

7-You can also use a desensitizing oral spray that will help you get deeper without pain!

Do you enjoy getting deepthroated? Or do you like to deepthroat your partner?

GROUP SEX: ¿ARE YOU IN OR OUT?

Group sex or group fun, however it is called this day and age, is it for you? 

How does group sex work in the first place? Is there a protocol? And how do you find willing participants? It’s not as if you can just approach a guy and then ask him: are you up for a group fuck? For some it could be like asking for a punch on the face.

Or is it that simple? 

Possible? No? Maybe?

Then by all means please share with us your very own experience

BIG D!@K STORIES...

What are your awkward or pleasurable experiences with handling a BIG penis?

14 REASONS IT'S HARDER BEING A BOTTOM THAN A TOP

Well I mean first of all someone is shoving a thing inside of u that doesn’t necessarily belong there. So...

1. Well I mean first of all someone is shoving a thing inside of u that doesn’t necessarily belong there. So.

2. But curiously, THERE ARE NO TOPS. Okay maybe there are like 5 tops in the universe. In the gay male sex world, the top to bottom ratio is totally skewed towards bottoms. There are waaaaaaaaaaaay more bottoms than there are tops.

3. You run the risk of your friends singing “THIS BOY IS A BOTTTOOMMMMMM!!!” at you when you go out together. Whatever tho — at least there’s a song about you!

4. Somedays you just don’t FEEL like bottoming, even if you are horny. Bottoming isn’t about just having someone put their piece in u. It’s about really W-A-N-T-I-N-G that piece all up in u. Two different sentiments. If you’re not feeling it, there’s no dice.

5. It’s SO much work, ugh.

6. Santorum.

7. Being ashamed of being a big old bottom. Even though 92% of gay men are bottoms, according to my ethnographic field research, lots of gay men are ashamed of it, as if there’s something less masculine about it. The majority of mainstream gay dudes are all about masculinity, and anything that eclipses that has got to go.

8. And speaking of which, if you are femme or even slightly effeminate or fey, the few tops out there in the gay sexual desert may not be interested in you. “If I wanted to date a girl, I would.” Oh lord.

9. If the top is inexperienced you are in for quite an experience.

10. When you meet a hot guy and you find out he’s a bottom, too, it’s like eyeroll. HOWEVER! If you meet someone really hot and he’s all “I’m a top,” you automatically go: “Oooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

11. Even if you enjoy bottoming, sometimes you get stuck with an everlasting top and you are sort of over it and he is still going at it and you sit through it just so he can get off.

12. He might try to pull some mess and take the condom off and you may not know. A bottom can’t pull the condom off without the top seeing/knowing.

13. People will assume you can’t top even though you have an extremely capable dick. There’s an automatic stigma around bottoming: once a bottom always a bottom. Even if you are sort of versatile sometimes, there are some guys out there who are all, “Yeah right. Do not want.”

14. Every bottom ever has slept with some top who treated his penis like an all conquering sword, stabbing you to orgasm I guess? Tip: can you not!

¿ARE YOU HAVING ENOUGH SEX?

What criteria is needed to determine what ‘enough sex’ is? Is it going from one guy’s place to the next in the same weekend? Is it hooking up every other day and then not having sex for three weeks? I’m not trying to offend anyone, I’m just trying to deconstruct a word and idea that have caused so many different people to feel “less-than.”

Whether you are a porn star or just an average guy, we men have many insecurities when it comes to perception of sex. So I say, what is enough for you might not be enough for another and that’s okay, right? 

¿SEX RUINED?

Has Facebook, Grindr, Jack’d ET AL ruined sex for you?

¿HAVE YOU EVER?

Recorded yourself having sex without the other party knowing? 

THERE ARE 5 PENIS SIZES & SHAPES (& HERE'S HOW TO ENJOY THEM)

Gay men love penises and penises love gay men. They come in all different penis shapes and sizes, and they never cease to amaze us in their variability. Every guy is different, and with every new guy comes a new penis experience — whether good, cringe-worthy or totally laughable.

From my own experiences and those of my friends, I've developed this guide to making the most out of these 5 common types of cheek-slammers.

1. The Tiny Tim

If you have ever had to ask, “Is it in yet?” my heart breaks for you. I can’t think of anything more disappointing than a guy who just wasn’t born with adequate equipment, let alone the dreaded micro-penis.

When a guy is super small, it can definitely hinder your chances of getting the big “O.” But even if you’re dealing with something that is equivalent to a super tampon, there is always a possibility for good sex.

Before you even bother to weep over his poor genes, your best bet is to focus on yourself first. Try spending more time on foreplay. Bring out your toys, get on top, and take control of the situation ... because he certainly won’t be able to. Get yours first, and then move to sex so he can get his.

Also keep in mind that the size of his shaft isn’t something he can control. So don’t be cruel. Just make the best of the situation and move on.

 2. The No. #2

It may not be thick and juicy, but it can still be long and strong. You can’t always have the best of both worlds when it comes to length and width, but lots of women prefer length. With a longer member, you really can’t go wrong any position.

But if you find yourself wishing he was thicker, try out some new angles. Try it on top, while spooning, in doggy style, or go with the classic missionary. Switching up your body position can make all the difference on how a guy feels.

If you find that you are still unsatisfied, turn up the intensity a notch. Any kind of kinky or out of the ordinary element in the bedroom can always heighten your experience and make you forget that you're dealing with a skinny shaft.

3. The Hooded Figure

 These are rare to come by in the States, and if you do come across one, you may be petrified at first and not want to again. But, there’s nothing to be afraid of. Guys who are uncircumcised have a little extra to offer … extra foreskin that is.

That foreskin can prove to be pretty overwhelming or intimidating, especially during oral. When you go down, it goes down, and when you come up, it comes up. Kind of like playing an accordion with your mouth.

Foreskin and foreplay are tricky, but actually having sex with an uncircumcised guy isn't any different than having sex with a circumcised guy. Don’t let the hood frighten you away, it could turn out to be the best sex of your life.

4. The Large and In Charge

 There probably isn’t anything more overwhelming than when a guy drops trough and you find that he’s hung like a horse. It may seem like a fantasy, but in reality, it can be fear-inducing, and if you have never been face-to-tip with a guy who is way above average, you might not know what to do with it.

When it looks like the peg is too big to fit through its hole, it is probably a good time to talk about lube. Whether it comes from you or it comes from a tube, you are going to want to be properly lubricated, just to make things easier.

You should also keep in mind that position makes a big difference. Anything that involves girl on top will probably be too much at first, although it will allow you to get acquainted at your own pace and depth. The easiest way for you to test the water will most likely be doggy, as long as he’s gentle. There’s no extra gravitational force pushing it in, and he’ll be able to adjust to a rhythm that’s most comfortable for you.

5. The Wooly Mammoth

 Not all men believe in landscaping their downstairs region, and some don’t even like to trim it up. It’s not always the most pleasant place to put your face, and when guys have a grooming issue, it can make it almost unbearable. So what do you do?

The answer, sadly, is not a whole lot. If you’re just hooking up with a guy on a one-time only basis, you’re just going to have to get over it. Your parents always told you not out judge a book by its cover, so don’t let this guy's jungle interfere with you getting it in. However, if you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t like to keep it clean and you don’t like it, you should definitely say something.

Try to be subtle. We all know how sensitive men can be about their most important appendage. Say something like, “I wonder what it would feel like if you were to try shaving everything...”

If you can get him to try it, let him know you like it better that way, and if he truly cares about you, he will trim up his junk.

¿HOW LONG SHOULD SEX LAST?

Due to the private nature of sex, it’s a hard question to answer and I am not saying you should peek through the blinds to see your friends doing the deed, but chances are you've wondered how your stamina stacks up against everyone else. 

So yes, I am basically asking: Are you the tortoise or the hare?

THE CASE FOR KEEPING YOUR CLOTHES ON DURING SEX...

I am not knocking nudity. We strip down to our birthday suit to do lots of important stuff: shower, use the restroom (kinda), get hot and heavy. 

But have you ever considered keeping your clothes on during sex (even for just a little bit) to heighten the excitement of eventual nakedness? So next time you find yourself in a steamy situation, don’t immediately disrobe. 

Do you think you can do that?

¿FOR US GAY MEN DOES VIRGINITY MATTER?

Though I am loudly and enthusiastically vocal in support of sexual liberation, the circus that centers on the idea of our "first time" feels alien to me.  

As gay men we are increasingly perceived as independent people with our own sexual agency, we’ve chosen not to abandon the concept of virginity, but to broaden it.

Do you think we as gay men place value on virginity which is essentially a kind of inexperience? 

TIPS ON BEING A BETTER TOP...

When I think about topping I honestly don’t give it much thought.  Mostly I think, “I’m horny…I need to fuck something” and generally the mindset is to find an ass that catches my attention…get in, unload and get out.  But to effectively make your bottom beg for more, here are a few things that every top should know:

1. Know your Weapon 

There’s nothing more annoying to a bottom than a guy who seems to be unfamiliar with his own dick.  The “top” position is a position of dominance and power, it’s an Alpha position.  Confidence and self-awareness go a long way.  Know whether you’re average, hung or super hung.  It’s really annoying when you’re 6″ and you’re waving it around talking about your 10″ dick.  There’s nothing wrong with a healthy degree of confidence; there are plenty of guys with 5″, 6″ and 7″ cocks who can make a bottom’s eyes roll back in their head.  Be confident and be realistic.

2. Bottoms are like Snowflakes

Sexuality is complex.  The human body is complex.  Understanding that will get you miles ahead of the game.  There are a lot of different kinds of bottoms.  Some bottoms like to be thrown around and slammed on the bed, fucked senseless and left in a pile of cum.  Some bottoms like to be aggressively fucked and other bottoms like to aggressively use their ass to work a hot load out of you.  Some bottoms like to push their own limits; they want you to fuck them as hard as you possibly can.  Other bottoms like slow, sensual fucking – for them it’s the buildup of energy and chemistry leading to the climax that gets them off.  It’s always important to understand that a bottom’s main job is to get you off…how they do that is what you have to navigate through.  Getting a little bit of information before sliding in can help you get the most out of the guy you’re fucking.

3. Fantasy vs. Reality

In the fantasy you see the way a guy is looking at you, walk out of the club, slam him up against the wall, pull his pants down and stick your dick up his ass.  You fuck him hard and fast until you unload deep inside him.  Then you slap his ass and head home.  Realistically though, there’s some preparation that goes into bottoming and understanding that can help you.  Food usually takes about 20 – 30 minutes to digest…give or take.  Different kinds of foods are processed differently in the body.  If you go out and enjoy a nice garden salad for dinner…chances are your body won’t have that much waste as most salads are healthy.  If you go out and eat Burritos, Fajitas and Beans then you’ll definitely want to wait until your body has processed all that or it’s going to be your Willy Wonka in his Chocolate Factory and that is NOT exciting.  Bottoms need to know their own bodies; they aren’t just magically ready to fuck at the drop of a hat. Make sure they shower and clean and douche before you get in there.  It’s just the realism of the act.

4. You better work, b*tch

I know…#s 1, 2 and 3 are blah blah blah.  But it’s important to know that stuff.  Now…lube is important.  People use spit and that’s fine; it’s a lubricant but it dries up fast so you have to reapply. Water based lubes are fine but some guys don’t like them because their skin absorbs the moisture too quickly and they have to reapply a lot.  Oil based lubes work better for them and they might work better for you.  Don’t be stingy with the lube; your ass doesn’t generally produce natural lubricant.  There is a mucus that men’s bodies produce to help facilitate bowel movements, but this isn’t the same as lube.  I usually apply lube on the hole and around it and on the globes of the ass because there’s a lot of friction happening when you’re fucking.  Then I lube up my shaft and head and get it real slick.  Then…well…I slide on in.

Being a good top isn’t just sitting there expecting them to do all the work.  A bottom might be aggressive, but mostly I’ve found that the position lends itself to a certain level of submission.  Even an aggressive bottom will give in if you embody that Alpha energy and slam fuck him.  Remember that it’s about THEM getting you off, not just about YOU using them to get off.  They get you off by letting you fuck their hole.  We get off by using that hole however they like it.  It’s a symbiotic relationship, whether it’s long term or just something you connect with for a night.

Have fun boys!

PITY SEX...

Have you ever had pity sex with anyone?

OH THAT GLORY-HOLE...

Have you ever sucked a d!ck through a Glory-hole?

SCHEDULING SEX WITH YOUR PARTNER...

Scheduling sex with your partner doesn't sound glamorous, but is there some validity to it? 

Do you think it helps or hurt a relationship to set aside 15 minutes twice per week to do stuff that turns you and your partner on—kissing, giving each other massages, or showering together. 

It may sound silly, but if it means better sex, there's no point in complaining, right? 

¿HAS OUR DESIRE FOR SEX CLOUDED THE JUDGEMENT OF OUR OWN SAFETY?

You’ll constantly hear gay men bitch about the pitfalls of dating – specifically gay dating – in the 21st century. But that won’t change the fact that two minutes later you’ll probably see them scrolling down their feed of guys on Grindr, why? Well, if you can’t beat them, join them. And it’s a sad truth that if you don’t board the app-wagon, then you get left behind in a trail of dust.

So we sign-up and browse, ’cause they’re convenient, everybody else is doing it, and messages/swipes give our validation a little daily boost. The trouble with conversing with 2-Dimensional profiles is that you often can’t get a sense for what kind of person they are. Text messages are often misconstrued because it can be how the reader interprets what is said. But when using these apps where casual sex is the norm, we should already have our guard up. Imagine if a guy walked up to you in a bar, and said “U hung?” or “Bareback?” – it goes without saying that you’d be like what the fuck? Before making a swift exit. But somehow because they’re hiding behind a screen, it’s acceptable?

Quite simply, because most of us aren’t looking to date. And we are red-blooded men after all, so when there’s sex on a plate, there’s often no qualms about saying no – especially if you’re horny and find the guy is attractive. But are we letting the convenience of casual sex, and the temptation of our animal urges override our judgement of our own safety?