WHAT HAPPENS WHEN STRAIGHT MEN ARE PRANKED IN A GAY RAP VIDEO?

The tension gay black men face within the African-American community is not news. For example, just this summer, rapper/model Milan Christopher said he was being shunned on the set of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood for being gay.

Enter comedian Ben Bizuneh, who teamed up with F-Comedy, a digital extension of Fusion, to conduct a social experiment to pierce the reality of the stigma. Bizuneh created a rapper persona for himself, Boss Quoss, going so far as to buy Facebook followers and get into arguments on Twitter with other celebs in order bring life to this artist. As Boss Quoss hints at his sexuality in his new single, “Strokin,” Bizuneh decides to see how extras in a video would react to the quasi-rapper making out with another man.

Asking straight black men to take off their shirts and all but simulate handjobs, they had no arguments. But when Boss Quoss makes out with another man, they get all the reactions on camera.

Watch below and see what happens:

SOURCE: GAY DOT NET

THE FIVE DATING DON'TS FOR THE SINGLE GAY MAN

When it comes to dating, all the rules in the book fly right out the window when you meet the perfect plus one. But until then, it can seem like a revolving door of rejects until your find your Mr. Right.

Luckily, there are a few guidelines that every smart gay man should keep in mind to always stay on top of his game and out of a dead-end relationship.

Don’t text him too much before the first date.

This is a sure fire way to fall in love with the idea of him before getting to know him at all. Texting too much before you meet can give a false sense of who someone is through pithy jokes, cute one-liners, and the clever use of emoticons. Just because someone can be funny in text or concoct the perfect reply to your questions does not mean that you two are a match of any kind. Being charming via text doesn’t always equate to having chemistry in person, and far too often gay men read too much into text messaging only to be let down by the real thing. Call him if you want to chat for a bit before meeting, but don’t continue to text after you have made plans for the first date.

Plus you may want to save some things to talk about just in case you run into the dreaded awkward silence.

Don’t introduce him to your friends too soon.

Your friends are the constant in your life. They know the parts of you that take years to learn. So if you bring a new beau around your gaggle before it’s the right time, the side of you that he sees may surprise him. Or worse, what if he absolutely loves your friends and the feeling is mutual? You may just be screwing yourself into hanging out with someone that you aren’t really that into because your buddy invited him to his birthday party or your best girlfriend wants him to come to have a drink.

To be safe, just keep it between the two of you until you are sure he’s a keeper.

Don’t sleep with him until at least the second date.

Let’s be honest, you probably can’t make it to the third. This isn’t about waiting a certain amount of time before you know if he is the right one. It is about making sure you like him enough to share a meal again before he gets you naked. Having sex too soon can cheapen a first date into nothing more than a long-winded hookup. There is nothing wrong with that if that’s what you want, but don’t be surprised if he never calls you to schedule dinner at that Mexican place you talked about.

The boundaries of dating versus just sleeping together are easy to cross. So if you are looking for something more than his Tuesday night regular, wait a beat before hitting the sheets.

Don’t lie about the little things that make you who you are.

This may seem like a no-brainer, but so many young gay men will often stretch the truth in order to please the handsome stranger across the table. Maybe you lie about how much you like to watch sports or pretend to know about whatever hipster band he is rambling about. You may think it is harmless to feign interest in the things he cares about, but it is surefire sign that you are not being true to who you are. Any relationship you enter into this way is bound to have cracks of trust that will inevitably grow into craters. When it comes to love and sex, just remember that there are no white lies. Be honest, be open and never apologize for the things that make you who you are.

Who cares if you’d rather watch Real Housewives than Sunday night football, anyway? Don’t worry, you aren’t the only one.

Don’t ever question how much you are worth.

You should go into every date thinking that if he never wants to go out with you again, he only did you a favor. Confidence is the sexiest thing any man can wear, and if you believe that you are worthy of love, it should not matter if the man across the table isn’t that into you. Be daring in your love life and willing to take the plunge, but never, ever, be desperate for a boyfriend.

If you do not know that you are better off being happy by yourself than miserable with the wrong man, then you need to take the time to get to know yourself. If you do not know your worth, then you can never be sure if you are someone because he makes you happy or if you are just unhappy alone. Break every rule in the dating handbook if you want, just so long as you never question how much you are worth.

SOURCE: GAY DOT NET

6 REASONS WHY A GYM BODY ISN'T A HEALTHY BODY

Although it may be hard to tell, gay men are just like any other population: We come in all shapes and sizes. And at our healthiest, we would still look drastically different from each other.

Yet there is one body type that we are often expected to attain. A passing glance at the media and the advertising industry’s portrayal of the modern gay man is a portrait of massive pecs, bulging biceps, a teeny-tiny waist, and thighs the size of tree trunks. This impossible pinnacle of perfection is what we are led to believe is that of a healthy man, but for a countless number of gay men who are killing themselves to achieve it, it can be anything but.

Here are six reasons why the "gay gym body" isn’t a healthy body.

1. Steroids and harmful supplements offer a temptation to "cheat."

The reality is, many gay men will never look like the boys in the underwear ads, simply because of genetics. What is one man’s pinnacle of personal fitness can look quite different from another’s. But regardless of what a person’s peak level of fitness looks like, there is still one measure of the perfect body, which is why gay men are six times more likely to use steroids, unnecessary testosterone boosters, and other harmful supplements to cheat their genetics. And no matter how hard your trainer or your over-muscled friend may try to convince you, these supplements are bad for your body. The end.

2. Comparison creates an unhealthy body image.

Whenever you set unattainable fitness goals, the progress you make can sometimes be what makes you feel as if you will never be good enough. Your body can only look like the best version of your body, and by comparing yourself to someone with a wildly different body composition, you will always feel as if you are “less than.” This notion is generally shrugged off as “motivation” to work harder, but it also can create a very unhealthy body image. Define your successes by what your best body is, not the body of someone else.

3. Eating disorders.

For many gay men, there are few things worse than carrying a few extra pounds, even if they are perfectly healthy otherwise. That is why of the men with eating disorders, 42 percent identify as gay. In fact, the International Journal of Eating Disorders reported that nearly 15 percent of gay men have struggled with bulimia or anorexia at some point, all because of body image issues and the desire to look better.

4. Bigger does not always mean better.

Building muscle is essential to maintaining a healthy body. But being physically fit is quite different from trying to look like the Incredible Hulk. It is easy, however, to get sucked into the culture or massive muscles and zero body fat, even if this “look” actually inhibits your health. Trying to get bigger and bigger by overworking the body and pounding highly processed protein shakes can cause inflammation, chronic fatigue, and a low sex drive. When it comes to the men on the cover of health and fitness magazines, their “look” is often a result of dehydration through the use of harmful diuretics and water restriction. But many gay men have taken this trade secret and applied it to their everyday lives. Such practices are extremely unhealthy and can result in significant kidney damage, all for the sake of a toned six-pack.  

5. Gay men are (literally) dying to be beautiful.

The gay community’s unhealthy obsession with the perfect gym body is taking its toll. A British poll taken in 2012 found that 48 percent of gay men surveyed would sacrifice a year of their life to enjoy the ideal body now, and 10 percent would give up to 11 years to be body beautiful. If we are literally willing to die early just to look like an underwear model, it is time for a major overhaul of the collective gay man’s self-image.

6. A perfect body is a healthy body, no matter how it looks.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel confident when you are naked, but gay men deserve a plethora of depictions of what is healthy and beautiful, not just one best model that the majority will never attain. And it starts with seeing your body as beautiful when it is healthy, not compromising your health to achieve an unrealistic and over-processed goal. The story of the perfect gym body is a false narrative, because it only begets more insecurity and a constant need to stay “perfect” as the inevitable aging process takes place.

When it comes to finding your best body, screw the system, and find new ways to love your own skin instead of coveting someone else’s. 

SOURCE: GAY DOT NET

TOM GOSS'S MOVING MUSIC VIDEO SHOWS GAY INTERRACIAL LOVE

Tom Goss has done it again.

The gay musician, who is known for his viral hits like "Bears,"has released a sexy music video that spotlights the beauty of love, regardless of sexual orientation.

The video features an intimate dance between three couples; one is straight, and the other two are same-sex. 

Featuring Matt Alber, the song, "Breath and Sound" is a moving medley of art and music. As itsYouTube caption reads: "No matter the dancers, the dance is always the same. Love is love."

Watch it below.

SOURCE: GAY DOT NET

6 DATING DILEMMAS FOR GAY MEN AND HOW TO AVOID THEM

We have all been through our fair share of dating blunders, pitfalls and disasters. If you are single, it is easy to get discouraged after a few too many dating disappointments.

But fret not, because there are men out there who are just like you, and it only takes finding one to make you forget all the other failed attempts at love.

However, even if you find a guy who seems to be a right fit, you still might run into more than a few dilemmas that can cause you to break up if you don’t know what to look out for. Here are a few pitfalls to avoid, and how to avoid them.

1. You are in drastically different income brackets.

When someone makes a significantly greater amount of money than the other, it can create a power struggle than may leave the "less fortunate" of the two feeling "less than." When all of a sudden, you are going to restaurants you can’t afford and destinations that are out of reach for your own wallet, it can make you feel more like a purchased good than an equal partner. To put an end to this, strike a balance in the budget. If you two are meant for each other, work on doing things together where both of you can contribute. Sure, it may not be dollar-for-dollar. But if one of you swings for the coffee date on Tuesday, the fancy dinner on Friday will be way more fun and way less of an issue for both of you.   

2. One of you is a homebody, the other is a party boy.

It only makes sense that the quiet boy in the corner becomes the object of affection for the life of the party. The law of opposites attract has always been finite, which means it may come with some difficulties when it is implemented. When the wallflower falls in love with the party boy, the struggle to strike a balance in this couple's social life can be quite difficult. This is why both men need to value trust and independence above all. Because if this relationship is going to work, both parties will need to be comfortable with the extroverted one going out for drinks with the guys, while the homebody curls up with Netflix every now and again.

3. You are both passive in bed.

This little dilemma is one that doesn’t make itself evident until a few months into the relationship. After the excitement of the first kisses and the frantic, clumsy foreplay settles, you realize that neither of you is really the initiator when it comes to sex in a steady relationship. At first, you think it is because sex isn’t the only important factor to you both. But after one or two weeks go by, you realize that one of you is going to have to pull the trigger, if you are ever going to make this work. Luckily, this dilemma is an easy fix, if the rest of the relationship is going well. Communicate about what you want, make sex a priority, and discover that dominant side of yourself. This is one problem that can be very fun to solve.

4. You don’t get along with his friends.

In the beginning of any romance, this problem is almost a non-issue. The focus is still on deciding if you two are a good match, rather than measuring compatability with his friend circle. But the moment things do start to get serious is when the opinions of his friends come into play. Sometimes, the redefining of boundaries between your boyfriend and his friends can be difficult, if they are used to him being perpetually single. Other times, his friends may think that they can just wait you out until you are no longer in the picture. But no matter the issue, put your best game face on and just keep trying to find common ground. If you know that you have tried your darnedest to befriend his circle, then it is up to him to flesh out any remaining uncertainties his gaggle may have.

5. You have different communication styles.

Whether it is due to an age difference or a brain difference, having two different communication problems can cause quite the unwanted turmoil in a relationship.  If he likes to call and you prefer texting, you two can easily mistake each other’s preference as a sign of neglect. But just like any language, it is relatively easy to learn someone else’s communication style. And if the two of you are truly a match, picking up the phone instead of sending a text is a pretty easy way to keep your significant other smiling.

6. You have different HIV statuses.

It doesn’t matter if the chemistry is off the charts, a budding relationship where two people have different HIV statuses can prove to be quite the quandary if the parties aren’t abreast on the topic. But out of all of the dating dilemmas, this one can be the easiest to quash. For the HIV-negative man, always ask questions and never make assumptions. You do not have to be ashamed because you want to remain safe and keep your negative status. For the HIV-positive man, be open and allow for your mate to get comfortable with this dynamic, but never feel guilty or as if he is doing you a favor by staying with you. Be understanding of his fears, but never doubt the value that you bring into the relationship.

SOURCE: GAY DOT NET

6 BAD SIGNS OF A GOOD RELATIONSHIP

So you finally found a man who doesn’t absolutely suck. After a couple of months of dating, you finally stop waiting for the other shoe to drop and realize that you are actually in a healthy relationship.

Your fairy-tale prince may have arrived, but your “happily ever after” won't always unfold like a Disney dream.

But, don’t fear. Not everything about being in a healthy relationship is “good,” — these are six bad signs your relationship is actually pretty great.

  

You have five extra pounds that just won’t go away.

It doesn’t matter where you were in your fitness goals prior to meeting your one and only. Whether you are ripped like a god or soft and sexy, you can expect your normal weight to be about five pounds heavier, regardless of who you are and how much you try to get it off.

You probably still work out about as much as you did before, but the hunger to be sexy for the next pool party has been replaced with an appetite for brownies in bed. You may scold yourself for not being as stringent about your health and fitness, but not enough to actually give a damn when your boyfriend wants to stay in and order pizza.

He seems to love you, so a little more of you can only be a good thing.

You lose all of your party friends.

When you were single, you had your close group of friends, and then you had the kind of friends who were more like single allies who were off the dating roster and on the brunch list. You liked them, they liked you, but your relationship didn’t go much farther past dissing your ex-boyfriends and drinking mimosas. 

As you progress in your domestic bliss, you notice that you are no longer getting funny text messages from your drinking buddies or as many invites to parties. Let’s face it, you aren’t as much fun to be around anymore. Or maybe it’s because you aren’t as desperate as you were when you were single. Either way, your social circle has been reduced to the people who show up to the important things and for whom distance or domesticity doesn’t affect the bond you have.

You have become “that couple.”

Remember when you were single and you and your friends would make fun of all the annoying things that couples do? You all swore that you would never do whatever they were doing when you found a relationship and vowed to always stay true to your single-boy manifesto, no matter how smitten you may be.

Slowly but surely, you have broken every single rule, committed every last faux pas, and for a second you feel like you have let down the ghost of your single past. It is usually when you realize that every Facebook profile picture is of the two of you and you realize, “OMG, we are that couple.”

Then you upload that selfie of the two of you kissing anyway. Who cares.

You are hairier, smellier, and generally not as well-groomed.

Whether you are an immaculately trimmed or a rough-around-the-edges kind of guy, you can expect your general hygiene to occasionally take a turn for the worse. When you were single, you were constantly interested in how people perceived you, including how you smelled, how you looked, and how sexually appetizing the haircut of your nether regions was.

But if you are in a good relationship, your preoccupation with your perception will slowly lose its grip. Next thing you know, you are headed to breakfast without a shower, with no deodorant, and in last night’s clothing. Of course you clean yourself up at all the important times, but who cares if you smell a little funky when you know the one man who matters the most doesn’t care at all.

Your favorite breakup anthems lose their luster.

The angry pop power ballad was on repeat in your car, in the gym, and when you were getting ready to hit the town. These songs were always there to help get over the breakups, the bad dates, and the seemingly hopeless moments of your single life. But lately they just don’t pack the punch they once did, and you left to find a new musical muse.

All of the music about unrequited love or the one that got away, the boy who did you wrong and how he will live to regret it, now only serves as a reminder of how you used to feel. But there you are, sweating on the treadmill trying to get into one of your go-to-fuck-you jams and it just isn’t working. You inner angry girl is gone.

Maybe you should try an audiobook or something.

You are officially “boring.”

Sure, you and your boyfriend can still hang with the best of them every once in a while. But the next morning, after waking with the kind of hangover that movies are made of, you suddenly remember why it had been so long since the last time you hit up the bars. You now enjoy going to sleep early and you can appreciate the early morning hours of Saturday and Sunday sans headache. The nightlife has lost its appeal now that you are no longer on the hunt for your next conquest.

There may be times that you miss chasing the high of flirting with a new face or a night of hot, casual sex, but you sure as shit don’t miss the comedowns that followed.

So maybe you are now “boring,” if boring means happy and drama-free.

SOURCE: GAY DOT NET

6 DATING DEAL BREAKERS THAT GAY MEN SHOULD RECONSIDER

Photo via Choklit Daddy

If you have had your fair share of dating and mating experiences, chances are you have developed a checklist of sorts to determine who makes the cut for the second date. And who can blame you?

You have a lot going on and you don’t need to waste your time on a man who doesn’t meet the criteria for a long-term love interest. But there are a few common preliminary deal breakers that could lead you to rule out a guy that may very well be the love of your life.

So before you delete his contact info, check out the six dating deal breakers you may want to reconsider.

  

He doesn’t drink.

You would be an idiot to typecast every guy who is sober as someone who was once a drunk disaster. Conversely, someone in AA shows that they can recognize a problem in their life and isn’t afraid to take the steps to make it better. Everyone who is in recovery is different with how they interact with alcohol, so if you meet someone who no longer partakes in the sauce, casually inquire how they feel about your own drinking habits. Maybe it isn’t a match, or maybe you just found a guy who is fun, adventurous and can always drive if you choose to have that second martini.

He has a child.

It may be a little intimidating to learn that the guy you are interested has a child. And you may think that a child is more baggage than you are equipped to handle. But you don’t need to worry yourself with his kid until you are sure that you like him, he likes you and there is potential for more than just of month of fun dates and casual sex. If things do progress into something serious, being part of his child’s life may take you into places that you never imagined, but you may never want to leave. If you have never been a large part of a child’s life, than you have no idea if you are going to like it. But if he is the right guy for you than you might just be the right guy for him to bring into his little family.

  

He’s broke.

When you reach a certain financial point in your life, dating someone who is still struggling with finances can seem limiting. Call it superficial, but many will forgo a guy who is struggling because it is just too difficult to find a common ground between vastly different disposable incomes. But a single guy looking for something long term would be remiss if he measured his potential match by his bank account and not by his ambition to succeed. Maybe their career hasn’t taken off yet or they are still trying to get out of debt. It doesn’t matter what their circumstance may be, so long as you can see the desire to put in the work. And if you reject the poor guy and run into him again years later when he is doing well, you might be the one who is rejected.

  

He lives too far away.

So if your career is set in Seattle and he is firm on staying in Tulsa, let it just be the hot and sexy weekend in West Hollywood that it was. But if sparks were flying and either of the two of you are open to a relocation if it were to ever get that far, by all means you should download Skype and get geo-creative. If you are single, mobile and you meet a good man, don’t let long distance limit you from exploring your possibilities. No one is saying you should delete all of your other options from your contacts, but it doesn’t hurt to rack up a few miles traveling to see if where there are sparks, there is most definitely fire.

He dated your ex-boyfriend.

Finding out that the cute guy who you have plans with has also dated your ex-boyfriend would make most people to fake an illness and never reschedule. But unless you are still holding on to the hope of getting back with your former beau, his previous conquests are far game. Let’s face it; even in the biggest of cities, the gay dating pool can seem a little sparse. So if there seems to be no visible strings between the two of you to either of your exes, let the games begin.

He is HIV-positive.

Don’t worry; this is not another ploy into getting you onto PrEP. But if rejecting a guy based on his HIV status is something you would do, than you are only doing yourself a disservice. Someone’s HIV status isn’t indicative of his character and it shouldn’t be a hindrance on your romantic and sexual compatibility. But if you are in any way uncomfortable with dating someone who is living with HIV, the hot guy who just asked you to dinner has all the answers you need to quell your nerves. Unless you have never had an experience that could have made all the difference when it comes to your HIV status, don’t let someone else’s HIV status get in the way of what could be a great match.

SOURCE: GAY DOT NET

¿NEWLY DIAGNOSED WITH HIV? HERE'S WHAT'S NEXT

The moments after learning you’re HIV-positive can seem like a virtual free fall. In a matter of seconds, you are sent into a tailspin of what-if scenarios and your vision is filled with horrific images from a bad movie montage. Your mind races, then stalls completely, working in frantic fits and spurts and grasping onto the nuggets of information you can remember about what it is to be HIV-positive today.

The nurse tells you that you are going to be just fine and that HIV is now a manageable disease. The doctor tells you that if you take care of yourself, you can expect to live the same amount of time as you would have if you were HIV-negative. But still, there is an inescapable fear of the unknown. What does it mean to live with HIV? What is going to have to change in your life, and more importantly, what can you expect to remain the same?

You aren’t alone. There are so many others who have gone through the exact same thing and have already asked all the same burning questions that you need to know the answers to. Below are some quick answers to those questions you probably have.

What do I do now?

The first thing to do is to stop panicking. You are the same person who walked into the clinic before receiving your test results. It may seem like everything has changed, but it hasn’t. Still, there are some things you can do to ease your mind and find your way back to being OK.

Find a doctor who is highly knowledgeable about HIV and is the right fit for you. You might be surprised about how uneducated your average family doctor is about HIV and how to treat it. The last thing you need is to be treated by a doctor who has just as many questions as you have. There are many HIV specialists who know exactly how to treat you, and that includes how to ease your concerns. These doctors can also act as your primary physician, who will keep your HIV diagnosis in mind when minor health issues arise along the way.

I found a doctor — now what?

During your first appointment, your doctor will do your initial lab work. This is to see what your CD4 count and viral load is. Your CD4 count is the number of disease-fighting white blood cells you have in your body and your viral load is the number of copies of HIV that are in your system. Your doctor will also determine whether the virus you have is resistant to any medications, which is unlikely.

This sounds scary, but it doesn’t have to be. No matter what your CD4 count may be, most people can bring their count up by simply taking a single-pill regimen. The same medication can also reduce your viral load to an undetectable level, making it highly improbable for you to transmit the virus to someone else. Most likely, this will be the extent of managing your virus, along with regular checkups with your doctor to make sure that your body is healthy and that your medication is working. The key to staying healthy and keeping an undetectable viral load is to never miss a dose — just as you should with medication for any other ailment.

Can I only have sex with other people who are also HIV-positive?

Of course not! Today, there are multiple ways to have safe sex, and believe it or not, most men are knowledgeable enough to know that informed sex is the safest sex of all, regardless of status. Again, staying compliant with your meds and maintaining an undetectable viral load is the best way to ensure that you never transmit the virus. This method of prevention is for your protection just as much as it is for your partner.

How will I tell my friends and family?

First off, you don’t have to tell anyone except your future sexual partners. But talking about your status may be the best way for you to feel like yourself again. There are probably other people around you who are either HIV-positive or have been affected by HIV in one way or another. The first time you tell someone may be scary, but it gets easier every time. The first step is to just say the three little letters out loud. Start there.

What does it mean to manage my virus?

For most people who are diagnosed today, managing your virus simply means being compliant with a one-pill-a-day regimen. Once you find a doctor, start medication, and achieve an undetectable viral load, you will just need to have your lab work done every four months or so to make sure that everything is all right.  

Am I going to die?

Here’s the deal. A person diagnosed today has roughly the same life expectancy as a person who is HIV-negative. However, your virus does make you more susceptible to several other health problems that you need to be aware of. Some of these are cardiovascular disease, kidney problems, and bone density loss. But before you start to panic again, know that these can be prevented with the proper care. Being knowledgeable about what to look out for is the best way to ensure a long and healthy life.

Am I going to get AIDS?

The term AIDS does seem scarier than HIV, doesn’t it? The truth is, many people who are living with HIV will never be diagnosed with AIDS. HIV is a virus; AIDS is a diagnosis that a person receives once the virus reaches a certain point. When your CD4 count dips below 200 and your immune system is so damaged that common illnesses can be life-threatening, your disease is classified as AIDS. As long as you stay on your medication and keep a healthy body and mind, you can keep your CD4 count in the healthy zone and far away from the level of AIDS. And if your CD4 count is already in the danger zone, the correct medication can bring you back up to healthy levels.

Your diagnosis is not the end of anything, but it may be the beginning of living a more informed and health-conscious life.

SOURCE: GAY DOT COM