Saturday, March 10, 2007

I AM NOT A GAY...


The whole world is built for men-and-women, but not for men or women. There is no place for us in the male-female world. There never will be. So either we create a place for ourselves or we will never have a place, but will continue to be ruled, from birth to death, from job to bed, by heterosexual notions of what is proper. So to them I say ‘I am not a "gay" but a homosexual.’ I object to the avoidance of the word "homosexual". I am homosexual — not gay — and I'm proud. I don't know where the idiot euphemism "gay" came from, but I see no reason except brevity to use any term but homosexual to refer to homosexuals. Heteros don't seem to see any need to avoid the word "heterosexual." HOMOSEXUALITY IS BEAUTIFUL! Hence we are entitled to a full life as homosexuals in a culture arisen from homosexuality and reflective of our lives, and that in order to attain such a society we must assume political and economic control over a specific real piece of the earth. We deserve to be free and the most important freedom a homosexual has is the freedom to feel. We can care. We can love. We can try to help people. So we teach, and enter social work and medicine. We can express our emotions. So we act and dance and sing and write poetry and paint. We can stand before something beautiful and appreciate it. We can express all our emotions, not just hate and anger, and so can be total human beings, while the heterosexual man is allowed to be only a fraction of a person — and not the best fraction at that. Because we can feel and because we can break free of standardized thinking, we can bring a new passion and perspective to politics, the arts, even the sciences. We can foment a vast program of social change without having to worry about what every straight male pressed into the tough competition-proves-your-manhood mold, worries about: being thought a softie, a "sob sister". We can sympathize, empathize — we do not have to pity in order to [relate to] the oppressed. For we have been oppressed and continue to be oppressed. We have some taste of the fury that warps people into things; of the rage that comes of being wronged and powerless to right those wrongs. But because most of us have also known acceptance and "the good life", we have a broader view than have those people in the visible-minorities' ghettoes. Ours have been ghettoes of the mind, and we do, after all, exercise considerable control over our own minds. Breaking down the walls we have placed on our own minds is not so formidable a task as smashing the walls in others' minds, or rebuilding a slum. We know both sides of the ghetto wall. Few others can. And we know both sides of the wall that restricts most people's thinking. Many people contemplate this troubled earth and search for answers. Most are constrained to search in barren territory, the territory they can see within the sterile confines of their accustomed areas of thought. The answers do not lie there, however, but outside. We know some of that relatively unexplored territory; perhaps we can act as guides. We know better than to reject things out of hand merely because they have never been tried or because they may sound strange. For we once, perforce, lived in an Old World of psychosexuality; but then our minds' and bodies' uncomprehended drives guided us to a door into a new existence, a whole New World of people, places, acts, and ideas we might never have known existed had it not been for our deviant nature. Perhaps the entire earth is but a step distant from a dramatic answer, unseen, unappreciated, as we may so long have stood, unaware, outside a gay bar or beside another homosexual, before we managed to come out. Perhaps the earth will find its own New World, undreamed of — or if dreamed, then repressed upon waking. Perhaps we can help discover or rediscover it.

Friday, March 9, 2007

DEVIATE & BE FREE!

 


Do think that if the entire world had been homosexual from the start, the word would be altogether different? Would HOMOSEXUALITY give rise to different forms of organization and institutions, acceptable lifestyles and attitudes, different art, different politics AND religion based on human recognition whether an individual is gay OR straight? This world that I speak of is not seen by eye, but can be felt in the hearts N’ souls of every homosexual on this planet. We yearn to be TRUE to ourselves and orientation, but if we are to achieve and live a life that is NATURAL to our sexuality, we need to DEVIATE & BE FREE! This is a MAJOR task and would not contemplate this had we not been shocked from lethargy by murders, beatings, name-calling, job discrimination, and so on. How funny we thought we were floating, when in fact we are drowning. We were swimming with the heterosexual tide, not realizing that that tide was going out, into a heterosexual sea, carrying us farther and farther from our homosexual native land. Now don’t get wrong I do NOT hate the sea, I just don't want to drown in it…This “heterosexual” sea, is the community that shelters, nourishes AND protects all that agree to be prisoners in its waters. But land animals such as us that stay too long in the water surely will find profound distress. SO I SAY LET’S DEVIATE & BE FREE! For far too long we have focused on the NEGATIVE consequences of such a deviation. But as “homosexual deviants,” we are free from the stereotype of "MASCULINITY". We can cry in a movie theater if we are touched by a film, and not flick the tears from our cheeks when the lights go up. We can touch another man on the street, hug him, and walk hand-in-hand with him. We can be graceful, gentle, tender, loving, kind. We can also do anything straight men do that we may care to do: wrestle, play football, lift weights, get roaring drunk and stagger thru the streets. And we can do some things straight men cannot: we can go into a sexual relationship free of preformed roles; we can both give and receive attention; we can initiate and reciprocate, be both aggressive and receptive, and live a two-sided relationship of true equals. However, the freedom of a deviant goes much further than just those freedoms we have as homosexuals. A deviant is free to…deviate. That is, as deviants we can NEVER really conform. So there is no reason for us ever to try. The (STRAIGHT) world has proclaimed certain values sacred. We cannot accept all those values, and if we can question one, we can question all. Indeed, having questioned any we are impelled to question all. Some will stand the test of inquiry; others will fail. What fails, we must replace. And here again we are free. If the (STRAIGHT) world's conclusions are wrong, we must question whether the means by which they reached those conclusions are also wrong. So we are free to work toward our own conclusions by our own means! If that is not freedom, what is? We don't have to say the "right" things, nor think the "right" things, nor do the "right" things according to the world. We don’t have to play butch or fem; we don't have to see the "in" films; nor wear our hair curly or have big belt buckles in our trousers while carrying a BIG leather shoulder bag. Having abandoned the standards of one world, we do not have to accept blindly the absurd standards of another. Hence we are free to try as best we can to fashion a world VALID for us. We are citizen in many worlds…slave in none. I know that deviation brings a perverse kind of freedom, but if we do NOTHING with it, we are cheating ourselves; and others as well…FOR A FREE MIND, BODY N’ SOUL IS A POWERFUL WEAPON AGAINST A WORLD GONE INSANE…



Thursday, March 8, 2007

A MAGICAL MIND: WISH...


From blowing dandelion seeds into the air to throwing a penny into a fountain, we have all felt inspired to make a wish, to whisper our secret desires into the ears of the universe and wait for signs that we have been heard. Some wishes come true while others remain ethereal visions that either stay with us or fade like a star in the light of morning. Whether they come true or not, wishes are important missives, expressing our heart's desire as well as our intention to create something new in our lives. When we wish for something, our consciousness opens to receiving it, like a flower unfolding its petals to receive a bee. There is something innocent and magical about making a wish, something that recalls the energy of childhood. Wishing is not about formulating a plan and following it step by step to attain a goal, which is the realm of adulthood. Wishing is more like a playful volley across the universe, an invitation to play. Waiting for the response is an integral part of the process. Wishing inspires an innocent opening to the possibility of magic as we wait to see if the invisible realm will bring our wish to life. This opening is a beautiful gesture in and of itself, regardless of the outcome. We place ourselves in a magical mind, and this mind is arguably as wonderful as the fulfillment of our wish itself. In our straightforward, action-oriented society, we may tend to dismiss the power of this seemingly passive process, yet the power of a wish is well known, hence the cautionary phrase, "Be careful what you wish for." If you have given up wishing in favor of more adult pursuits, you might want to bring its magic back into your life. The next time you see the first star of the evening, or find yourself in front of a birthday cake covered in flaming candles, give yourself the gift of the magical realm that you knew so well as a child-close your eyes, open your mind, and make your wish.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

HAPPY B-DAY DERRINIQUE!

Sweet sixteen you are, you were, in part shall always be.
That wonder, horror, perfect, fearful, strong, weak, potpourri.
One moment sailing through the sky, next, in the depths of hell.
What a way to learn of life, a test to live it well.
You need to be connected, dear, the same as all your friends.
You want to be so different, your own self to the end.
You long to be out on your own, you want your family there.
You feel you look so good, then hate your face, your nose, your hair.
And all that I can tell you now my sweet, sixteen, confused,
Is that I love you, and someday you'll look on this bemused.

Monday, March 5, 2007

MARKET BOY!

HOMOSEXUALITY IS A FORM OF LOVE...and HATE is the most maligned and misunderstood of our SEXUALITY! I know that anger is the most powerful outlet. Men build from love and destroy from hate. But too often one cannot build unless one first destroys. I find it scary how GAY MEN here live their life’s and how they treat those that around them. I HATE how GAY MEN can't deal with their own inadequacies and lash out against others. I HATE one GAY MAN in particular deals with the things he can't control, its one thing to show anger @ home but when it's brought out for public spectation that's another story. TALK ABOUT DAVID AND GOLIATH...the only thing is that in this story DAVID got his ASS KICKED. GOLIATH took his sling-shot and shoved it down his throat. Sadly, GOLIATH is his own worst enemy. He is a prisoner within very strong walls, and all the maudlin sentiment in the world, all the wishes for "understanding" and "peace" and only anger will smash them. He exists in a perpetual state of tension or crisis. To what degree depends upon his surroundings. He has learned to HATE, unfortunately he doesn’t hate the right things…HE should HATE passionately everyone and everything that causes him to hate himself, other homosexuals, and homosexuality itself. He should hate every impulse to hide his homosexuality, every impulse to cover up, avert one's eye, change the conversation; to hate every single aspect of his denial of existence — every imposition of heterosexuality upon him: every television program that suggests that "ALL" people are heterosexual; every evening of TV or radio programming in which he is invisible and unheard; every school where hetero patterns are foisted upon every child; to hate every anti-homosexual feeling he has in himself, every temptation to role playing, every word of the "GAY" vocabulary derived from the heterosexual and hetero-prostitute vocabulary of ugliness, impersonality, and contempt for sex, every sexual fantasy in which the body without a man inside is preferred to a full man, every sadistic/masochistic image and thrill, every unnatural swish, every affected effeminate mannerism, every rattail comb and eyebrow pencil, every falsie and hormone shot, every drag ball, every gym or beach that deprives the homosexual of dignity and personhood. I wish he knew that HATE is powerful, more powerful than our ability to diver it or our power to deny it. Hate is dynamic, not static. Hate moves the body to aggression; it moves the mind to aggression too. If that aggression is not let out it will nonetheless work its will, but in that case it will have nowhere to work but on the self. And then, instead of serving the end of self-preservation, it goes instead to push self-destruction. SO THE NEXT TIME GOLIATH DECIDES TO BEAT THE F&CK OUT OF HIS BOYFRIEND, I WISH HE WOULD FIND HIS WAY TO MY COUCH. I would tell him not to curse the darkness but light a fuse instead. There is much that is ugly in the "GAY WORLD" and in the minds of homosexuals. But NONE of it is homosexual. Blast the heterosexual notions out of your head. Blast the heterosexual parasites out of the gay world. Smash the heterosexual patterns that invade our lives. Stomp heterosexual ideas of beauty and right, into the dust. Wrench yourselves out of heterosexual strongholds. Let yourself drift into a violent mood and know what has brought you to it, smash the straight world aside and underfoot and build a homosexual world in a homosexual place. Hate the right people and the right things and use the dynamism of constructive hate to rebuild your world. I wonder if he knows that this incident demonstrates the extreme vulnerability of homosexuals in a heterosexual-dominated community. Do you think he knows that his actions brought down the WHOLE community? DO YOU THINK HE KNOWS HE ACTED LIKE A BOY IN THE MARKET?

SEX WITH ME...

…Gives you a sensual and obedient MAN who is in sink with my partner’s erotic dictates. With me no words need to be spoken when intimate with me; I know how to capture and keep my MAN’S imagination. "Sex is good; it’s a creation of GOD and all men are expected to enjoy it. Hence I exercise my GOD given right to enjoy myself. Sex with me doesn’t lend itself to prudishness or squeamishness. Sex is not an occasion for shame or embarrassment. With me I intend to teach that sex is deeper than the merely physical; it touches the whole physical and soulish makeup of man; it is psycho-physical. Sex with me involves every part of your life, not only physically, but emotionally, mentally, and volitionally as well. It is this fact that makes the sex drive so powerful. Sex is a powerful desire to enter into a total union with another personality, to discover the "SECRET" of another, to possess him in the total framework of human experience. In a phrase the URGE to MERGE! Sex with me is such a powerful instinctive drive in human life that you can never ignore it or take it lightly. It is as irresistible as spring. You can never fully understand this strange and powerful drive, and nothing quite so much tortures you and yet delights you as the mystery of SEX WITH ME! One thing therefore is clear: is that SEX is so deeply rooted in our natures that we can never treat it adequately on the physical level. SEX WITH ME is much deeper than that. I touch the whole of human makeup in its total experience. It’s all about taking that person to that next level, I firmly believe that you can tell who a man is by how deep and passionately he let’s ME F&CK him. I LOVE the way he looks into my eyes and rise from his deep set self-reflection as he sees me in his reflection…reflecting what HE knows is true. SEX WITH ME shows you the undeniable connection between our SOULS…Being inside of you is what you’d LOVE the most. GOD knows that I will F&CK you in every position that both of our bodies can handle…I want to see your body shine by candlelight…as your body continues to heat up in our sweat… I want to see the sexual lust on your face…as you throw your head from side…You don’t have to tell how good I feel, your body shows me that every time it rocks out of control…SEX WITH ME LIKE SEEING THE FACE OF GOD. SEX WITH ME IS BAR NONE. SEX WITH ME IS all pleasure with strings attach. SEX WITH ME is better than having a million bucks. SEX WITH ME is like a monsoon – HOT, WET, WILD, HEAVY & PERIODIC…SEX WITH ME is all BODY, HEART & SOUL…

Saturday, March 3, 2007

¿ONE NIGHT STAND = A LIFE TIME?



HOW DOES A MAN DECIDE THAT HE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME, NOT KNOWING WHO I AM AND THEN LATER DECIDES THAT HE WANTS A LIFETIME AND NOT A ONE TIME THING? I find this phenomenon sad and heart breaking. How do you say to yourself 'sure we can F&CK' all the while you know that deep down in your very soul you want the one thing that everyone in the world wants...
I find this very interesting because that means with every STROKE of my D!CK, every TENDER TOUCH, every SWEET KISS of my LIPS you are hoping to get that for more than one night. So I say ask yourself, how can you expect this be more than what it's meant to be? How can you want me to think that you want something with me that transform into more than what you give me @ the moment in time? I am just doing what my urges suggest and I am sorry that my HEART isn't in there, but I take my LIFE very seriously and I don't just decide that I want to be with anyone just because we had AMAZING SEX! S
ex doesn't equate to LOVE in my mind; sorry if it does for you but you need to accept this for what it is. How do you expect a MAN such as me to transform form the BULL that I am into an innocent PLAYMATE? The maniac in me won't allow such behaviour to exist...I GUESS I AM WRONG FOR GIVING YOU EVERYTHING AND NOTHING @ THE SAME TIME...GUESS I AM STRANGE FOR THINKING MY WAY OF F&CKING IS COMMON PLACE. I can't say that I blame you though; you've never come across one like me. I know that it's refreshing to see such a real and uninhibited display of sex so easily; flaunted in such a candid style...WHAT CAN I SAY? I KNOW HOW TO SEPARATE F&CKING FROM LOVE! Please don’t fall into the trap of starting out with an O.N.S. and end up getting hooked. 
In general, it is virtually impossible to maintain a serious relationship from a one-night stand. The odds are not very good. There are 3 things I want you to remember...I DON'T MAKE PROMISES - I won’t make promises I obviously can't keep. I won’t ask for your number if I don't plan on using it; I can’t set you up for a disappointment. I DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR F&CKING YOU - it cheapens the mood and kills the good time that we had. I WILL FOLLOW UP WITH YOU FROM TIME TO TIME - I won’t burn bridges because I never know when I might want to rock the bed with you again. CALL ME SELFISH, CALL ME WHAT EVER YOU...THE ONE THING YOU CAN'T CALL ME A LIAR BECAUSE I YOU KNOW FROM THE START WHAT THE DEAL IS AND WHERE I STAND...




TODAY IS SUMMER LEISURE DAY!