"THE FAMOUS ONE"

He told me that he always wanted to talk to me, touch me, hold me, be me...BUT HE THOUGHT THAT I THOUGHT THAT I WAS BETTER THAN HE, BETTER THAN THEY...'THE FAMOUS ONE' Now for a simple man such as myself I don't take compliments such as these too kindly, I HATE WHEN A MAN TRIES TO SAY HE KNOWS ME BEFORE HE 'KNOWS' ME. How, why do humans do that SH!T? So you know within OUR COMMUNITY stuff such as is blown way up...So this 'FAMOUS ONE' leaves something to the imagination...the difference between HIM and ME isI don’t have to put myself out there to please the HIM & THE KIDS. I B THE MAN that comes in many forms, from gestures, facial expressions, or the exposure (or lack of) the human form. I 'STIMULATE' and/or 'AROUSE'. THE UNIVERSAL TRUTH, however, is that we are all stimulated by differences. And, it is those differences I find truly fascinating; erotic or not...DON’T YOU? You know that I am TRUE FORM, but you can’t comprehend how to deal with me. We were born in color, and color has compassion. We can hide behind color; taking advantage of the brilliant diversionsit creates. However, remove the color and we are left exposed and when you see me, you see BLACK & WHITE, BLACK & WHITE is unforgiving. It never lies to make us feel better. It is cold and honest. The nature of the Black and White is where it's strength and beauty lies. Here, the only places to hide...are the shadows. And you know that I will find you, seek you, show you the light…I am the product of a stifling society…suffocated between walls of rules and stereotypes. Slowly bent out of shape the triangle peg forced into the square hole. I am a man struggling with confines and rebelling against constraints. I am a poet, a lover, an emotional wreck…my own worst enemy. A homosexual without apology….I AM ‘THE FAMOUS ONE!’

WHO AM I?

At some point in our lives, or perhaps at many points in our lives, we ask the question, "Who am I?" At times like these, we are looking beyond the obvious, beyond our names and the names of the cities and states we came from, into the layers beneath our surface identities. We may feel the need for a deeper sense of purpose in our lives, or we may be ready to accommodate a more complex understanding of the situation in which we find ourselves. Whatever the case, the question of who we are is a seed that can bear much fruit. It can send us on an exploration of our ancestry, or the past lives of our soul. It can call us to take up journaling in order to discover that voice deep within us that seems to know the answers to a multitude of questions. It can draw our attention so deeply inward that we find the spark of spirit that connects us to every living thing in the universe. One Hindu tradition counsels its practitioners to ask the question over and over, using it as a mantra to lead them inevitably into the heart of the divine. While there do people who seem to come into the world know who they are and why they are here, for the most part the human journey appears to be very much about asking this question and allowing its answers to guide us on our paths. So when we find ourselves in the heart of unknowing, we can have faith that we are in a very human place, as well as a very divine one. "Who am I?" is a timeless mantra, a Zen koan ultimately designed to lead us home, into the part of our minds that finally lets go of questions and answers and finds instead the ability to simply be.

DO U KNOW...

February 7th is National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day…According to the 2000 census; African Americans make up approximately 13% of the US population. However, African Americans accounted for 19,206 (50%) of the estimated 38,730 new HIV/AIDS diagnoses in the United States in the 35 areas with long-term, confidential name-based HIV reporting. During 2001–2004, the rate of HIV/AIDS diagnoses for African Americans decreased, although the rate for African Americans was still the highest rate for all racial and ethnic groups. The primary mode of HIV transmission among African American men was sexual contact with other men, followed by heterosexual contact and injection drug use. The primary mode of HIV transmission among African American women was heterosexual contact, followed by injection drug use. Of the estimated 145 infants perennially infected with HIV, 105 (73%) were African American (CDC, HIV/AIDS Reporting System, unpublished data, June 2005). Of the estimated 18,849 people under the age of 25 whose diagnosis of HIV/AIDS was made during 2001–2004 in the 33 states with HIV reporting, 11,554 (61%) were African American. Of the estimated 80,187 African Americans whose diagnosis of HIV/AIDS was made during 2001–2004 in the 33 states with HIV reporting, 49,704 (62%) were males, and 30,483 (38%) were females. PLEASE PEOPLE, KNOW YOUR STATUS. GET EDUCATED, GET INVOLVED, GET TESTED AND GET TREATED!

THE PAINFUL PLEASURE...

...Anal sex is probably one of the BIGGEST taboos in the bedroom, which is exactly why it's TANTALIZING to some and SORDID to others. The anus, which is loaded with nerves, is a pleasure center often ignored by the heterosexual set, usually because there are several misconceptions surrounding the act. But if it's done gently and safely, anal sex won't cause bodily harm and can be powerfully arousing. Anal intercourse is very SEXUALLY STIMULATING, it isn't hard to force an unwanted reaction if the person knows what they're doing, but that doesn't mean you enjoyed it. In any sexual relationship you'd need the right partner to experience any real pleasure or enjoyment. I am of the opinion that this activity is not only a physical one. I know this is more of a MENTAL, EMOTIONAL & SPIRITUAL activity. There has to be the right amount of chemistry between partners to achieve the PLEASURABLE PAIN that comes from such an event.

Despite what you may have heard ‑- or experienced, if you've ever made a fleeting attempt to try it ‑- anal sex isn't supposed to hurt. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong and you need to stop. In addition to a lack of lubrication, the mistake people often make during anal sex is starting with penile penetration. You really have to go slow and warm up to it, in other words, don't race to the finish line; take your time for a more pleasurable and positive experience. Massage the anus using one or two well-lubricated fingers or a small vibrator. Start by stimulating the anus with your partner's fingers to increase arousal, which makes you desire it more, which in turn helps relax your muscles. Remember that your body's natural reaction is to clamp down to prevent penetration, so going slowly gives you enough time for your body to relax and for you to gain some control over those muscles. So the more fingers used builds a positive experience, setting a comfortable pace before full penetration with a penis.

Unlike a vagina, the anus doesn't have its own natural lubrication so using a long-lasting water-based lubricant is key to making the practice pleasurable. Lubrication is also important because it reduces friction during penetration, which could cause the fragile tissues of the anus to tear, allowing sexually transmitted diseases to enter. Before sex, apply lubricant to the outside of and just inside the anus. You should also lube up the object that will enter you, such as fingers, a sex toy or a penis, to make insertion much more comfortable.

Anal sex is safe, but you have to take certain precautions. If you are not sure about the STD status of your partner (and you should be), USE PROTECTION! A lubricated latex or polyurethane condom ‑- a lubricated latex or polyurethane condom during anal sex. Also, remember to change condoms between rounds…Be conscious of which fingers or apparatus have been placed in the anus, and make sure to keep them clear of the eyes and mouth as well.

LIVE LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING!

Most of us express our distinctiveness in many ways throughout our lives. Although, as we proudly share our offbeat traits and preferences with the world, we take great pains to downplay those eccentricities we ourselves deem odd. Instead of living lives colored by these quirky impulses, we seek out socially acceptable outlets for our peculiarities. We may not realize that we are editing ourselves in this way because our individual societal awareness is unintentionally attuned to the attitudes of the people we encounter each day. Over time, we have learned to suppress some of the most fun aspects of individuality. To rediscover and embrace these buried traits, we need only ask ourselves what we would do if we knew for certain that no one would judge our choices. Visualizing this day without judgment can help you better understand the idiosyncrasies that are an important part of who you are but seldom manifest themselves in your existence. Perhaps you secretly dream of replacing grown-up, conservative clothing in favor of a changing array of costumes. You may envision yourself painting your car electric-green, hugging the trees in a crowded local park, singing joyous songs as you skip through your community, or taking up an exciting hobby like fire spinning. Try not to be surprised, however, if your imagination takes you in unexpectedly simple directions. In your musings, you may see yourself doing things such as breaking out in dance or dying your hair a fun color. Regardless of the nature of your suppressed peculiarities, ask yourself what is really stopping you from making them a part of your life, and then resolve to incorporate at least one into your everyday existence. Life as we know it is so short. Making the most of years we are granted is a matter of being ourselves even though we know that we will inevitably encounter people who disapprove of our choices. When you shake your tail feathers like no one is watching, you will discover that there are many others who appreciate you because you are willing to let go of any inhibition. By doing this you help others know it is okay. No one else in the world is precisely like you and, each time you revel in this simple fact, you rededicate yourself to the celebration of individuality.

HOMOSEXUALITY: WHAT DOES IT MEAN 2 U?

WHAT IS HOMOSEXUALITY?

Homosexuality is men being sexually and emotionally attracted to men, and women being sexually and emotionally attracted to women. This is also called same-sex attraction. Words sometimes used to describe those who experience same-sex attraction include homosexual people and gay men and lesbian women. However, not everyone who experiences same-sex attraction chooses to identify himself or herself as gay or lesbian.

NO INDIVIDUAL = NO COMMUNITY!

Just as individual drops of rain make up a puddle. Individual people make up a community. By definition, an individual is separate and distinct from others of the same kind. These individuals have independent thoughts. And to have independent thoughts, they must be free from external control and constraints. Today, with many of us being controlled through religion and label constraints, it is no surprise that very few individuals actually exist in our so-called Black Gay or SGL community group.

Some people don't want to be gay because of how others have reacted to them. Maybe their parents don't want them to be gay. Maybe some of their friends have stopped being their friends. Whatever the case, that's not a good enough reason. It won't work, and you'll only be unhappy. If you don't want to be gay, that's fine, but it's a choice you have to make because it's what YOU really want. Some people don't want to be gay because they think that if they become straight, all their problems will disappear. THIS IS JUST NOT TRUE! There is no quick-fix way to become straight or to deal with all of life's problems. Both take a lot of work. Some people don't want to be gay because they don't think they really are gay, even though they are attracted to the same sex and not the opposite sex. Deep inside, they say, "This might be what I feel, but it's not who I really am." Or, "This might be what I feel, but it's not who I really want to be." And so they choose not to identify themselves as gay or lesbian, and choose not to act on their attraction to people of the same sex. Instead, they seek to become the person they feel they really are or want to be. Some people don't want to be gay because their religious beliefs say that homosexual behavior is not what God wants of their lives. Influenced by their strong religious convictions, they have decided not to engage in homosexual behavior, whether or not this ever leads to a change in attractions as well. It is a difficult path to choose, but it's what they want to do.

Our bodies are the testimony of the first creation of art. We wear the light like it is a robe and we reveal the true beauty. We are the result of GOD’s fine art. We are the earth, the emotional Ocean, sensuous exotic creatures, tempting forbidden fruit...there is a true sense of freedom and power when you reveal yourself to the world. We are the celebration of SEXUAL FREEDOM! We resonate a sensuality, strength and confidence that defines HUMANITY. Society is threaten and uncomfortable with OUR SEXUALITY…SADLY WE OURSELVES ARE AS WELL…We treat THE LIFE as if it’s something UNREAL, something UNTRUE…something that we HAPHAZZARDLY DO. When we F&CK just for the F&CK OF IT we don’t compliment OUR true beauty. Hence we allow society to focus on the shameful and ugly aspect of THE LIFE. Why can’t we allow them to admire and appreciate the beautiful aspects of OUR SEXUALITY?

CONSTRAITS WITH LABELS...

Top or Bottom. Gay or Same Gender Loving. Feminine or Masculine. We've all heard them or have been asked to label ourselves by them. For whatever reason, many Black SGL or Gay men seem to be OK with allowing them selves to be placed into categories. These constraints simply strip away our own individuality, while separating us from one another causing wide-spread lack of respect. But what’s even more unfortunate is that many of us never ask, "Why can't I just be me?" The sad truth is that very few of us are free from religious control or label constraints, thus leaving very few individuals by definition to make up a true community. And unfortunately, we will never obtain a sense of community and togetherness without more self-thinking individuals. Watch how fast homophobia diminishes when we stop subjecting ourselves to religious abuse. Watch how the respect for one another increases with the disassociation to labels. And lastly, watch how fast the HIV rates decline once we start seeing ourselves as individuals and loving ourselves accordingly.

EXTERNAL CONTROL THROUGH RELIGION...

I think it is safe to say that the majority of us were raised under a Christian methodology. Very few have asked themselves why they believe what they do. And not many have actually sat down and interpreted the bible for themselves. Instead, they've allowed the words of their ministers and bishops to become bond, relinquishing control of their minds. Most of us were taught from the beginning that homosexuality was a "SIN" and simply an abomination. And even today as adults, many of us choose to hear these same words every Sunday. And although some may argue that they simply ignore it, the simple fact is that by them remaining in a gay-bashing church is a sign that somewhere deep down they believe those words or hate to be true. This reminds me of the process of brainwashing. If someone can spit in your face and you still remain seated to continue listening to what they have to say, you have lost control over yourself. Your independence is lost.

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I have found my self in place knowing that I am GAY, I think I was born this way for some un-know reason. I don’t have any regrets or worry about what is to come, I’ve learned that this is BIGGER than YOU or I. I take things with grind of salt and take baby steps when I walk. I have come to understand what HOMOSEXUALITY means to ME, what does it mean to YOU?

WHY...

Men get upset when they can't get what they want? TALK ABOUT WHEN THE MYTH GOES...Ok there exist this man that wants to F&CK me right (AGAIN) only this time he wants it to be a 3SUM. Now the thing is that I have no problems getting down with him, but I think that he is the type that likes to GET it when HE wants it....Now if anyone knows me, you know that I don't get down like that; especially since this NIGGAH trying to step to me all wrong...Granted I know he is fed up, but the last time I checked...I DECIDED WHO I WILL F&CK AND WHO WILL F&CK ME! Hence I've come to understand that whether this man understands it or not, he has organized himself in this behavioral system because he is knowledge deficient. When I say knowledge deficient, I am looking at his lack of awareness within his very life. He has nothing of substance to hold onto and is seeking some sort of comfort and joy (IF ONLY 4 A FEW MINUTES?) Honestly I hate a needy MAN, I can't stand a MAN that can't respect another MAN's choice. TO BE REALLY HONEST, THE SEX WAS BAD (IS THAT A REFLECTION ON ME?) & THOUGH I THOUGHT OF GIVING IT A SECOND GO I WASN'T 4 IT ANYMORE...So by now he realizes that I don't ever compromise MY sub-conscious, even if it means risking ridicule and rejection. I am true to myself and I live my own life…NEVER ALLOWING A JOKER SUCH AS HE DECIDING WHAT IS BEST FOR ME. This MAN won’t make me unhappy because I was false to myself. So tell me why? Why you want to see that I am cold as this world? Why did you think I was a sweet BOY? Why didn’t he learn that everything is a lie? Why didn’t he know that I sometimes feel like Pinocchio, just waiting to be real? Why would he want to be a substitute in my life? (DON’T THINK SEX WITH ME WOULD UPLIFT HIM). Why do I feel like SEX with him is like committing SUICIDE? I feel like mother earth crying please with no help in sight…GOD I PRAY YOU WILL SAVE ME…from this dead world I am in, men like him make me feel like being gagged and bound…I know there is a liar in ME for I have opened the F&CK GATES! BUT IF I KNEW ONE TRULY GOOD THING IS THAT I TRULY DON’T WANT YOU TO F&CK ME! can you tell me WHY?