L'HOMME FRANÇAIS

Friendship© 1997

Angela

Friendship is the kind of love

that never can grow old.

Warm and cozy it will stay

when other things are cold.

Friendship is a love so true

it won't be denied,

Because a friend will always be

there close by your side.

Boyfriends and lovers come and go

in this game of life we play,

But a true friend, no matter what,

in your heart will always stay.

So hold these friends dear to you,

and never let them go.

Think how much they mean to you,

and make sure to tell them so.

LOVE'S DIVINE

I have always wanted a LOVE the beget all others, a LOVE that can be seen by the world…& I FEEL WITH EVERYTHING WITHIN ME THAT I HAVE THAT LOVE! I knew this from the moment my heart sent out a message that only HE could answer. The ANGEL that fell into my HEART transcends time because it ALONE knows that it has no bearing on us. I am surprise by this LOVE with every breathe that I take AND I LOVE how HE tingles my soul. This LOVE is SO DIVINE because it has been ordained by GOD and is constantly being blessed AND honoured by FRIENDS and FAMILY. This LOVE is a MYSTERIOUS mystery that only LOVE itself can comprehend…

LOVE’S DIVINE

Then the rainstorm came, over me

And I felt my spirit breakI had lost all of my, belief you see

And realize my mistake

But time through a prayer, to me

And all around me, it came still

I need love, loves divine

Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind

Give me love, loves is what I need to help me know my name

Through the rainstorm came, century

And I felt my spirit fly

I had felt, all of my, reality

I realize what it takes

'Cause I need love, love's divine

Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind

Give me love, loves is what I need to help me know my name

Oh I, don't bet (don't bet), don't bet (don't bet)

Show me how to live a promise me you won't forsake

'Cause love can help me know my name

Well I try to say there's nothing wrong

But inside felt that all in all

But the message here was plain to see

Believe:'Cause I need love, love's divine

Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind

Give me love, loves is what I need to help me know my name

Oh I, don't bet (don't bet), don't bet (don't bet)

Show me how to live a promise me you won't forsake

'Cause love can help me know my name

Love can help me know my name.

CENTERING MYSELF

So the events of this past Saturday has made me take a step back and re-evaluate my place in the lives of others and I have come to realize that I am scattered in so many places that it is impossible for me have anything left for myself. Now I have to ask myself HOW DOES ONE FIX OR REPAIR HIMSELF WHEN THINGS GET TO THIS LEVEL? Firstly, I have to acknowledge that is somewhat STRANGE for me because this means that I have to say that I have spread myself too thin. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? My intensions were GOOD and I want the BEST for everyone but…WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME NOT MAKING IT ABOUT ME? ISN’T BEING HUMAN MEANS THAT ONE HAS TO SACRIFICE FOR THOSE THAT NEED IT? As I have said before I HAVE TO REALIZE THAT, I AM NOT GOD or JESUS and IT IS NOT MY PLACE TO LIVE AS IF I AM. Though being there for others is a GREAT and WONDERFUL thing, it takes it toll on me and sometimes I feel as if I am NOT present in my own body. Moreover, Saturday made me realize that. Hence, I have to CENTER myself and find a way of coming to terms with all the different energies that I give out and draw them back into myself. I read somewhere that when one is in such a predicament, one feels disconnected OR numb is no longer able to care fully for himself. Though this is NOT what I feel is going on with me, I have to admit that I am NOT far from it. @ first it appeared that this was CRAZY, but as time went on…They say that I am the ENDURING one, but I do not know how true that is…HOW IS IT THAT BEING THERE FOR OTHERS CAN BE SUCH A CHALLENGING EVENT WHEN IT COMES TO MAINTAINING A POSITIVE MEASURE OF MYSELF? I guess my thought that if I LOVE the universe AND everyone in it that I would experience LOVE in the form of positive circumstances. GUESS I AM A CHILD @ HEART THAT LISTENS TO THE UNIVERSE WHO IS MY WISE MOTHER THAT TELLS ME TO AID HER IN HER QUEST FOR MANKIND. THERE ARE EXTREME ENERGY CHANGES PULSING THROUGH THE UNIVERSE @ EVERY LEVEL AND, OF COURSE, I AM APART OF its GROWING PROCESS. I MERELY WANT OTHERS TO REALIZE THAT LIFE IS JUST ONE PHASE AFTER ANOTHER AND THAT ANY DIFFICULT TIME WILL INEVITABLY GIVE WAY TO SOMETHING NEW & DIFFERENT. I GUESS I HAVE TAKEN THE SAYING THIS TOO SHALL PASS TO ANOTHER LEVEL BECAUSE I AM MORE THAN THE SPOKEN WORD. THOUGH IT SEEMS SELFISH TO ME, I NOW KNOW THAT I HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILTY FOR THE THINGS THAT I CAN CHANGE & SURRENDER TO MYSELF & PUT ME FIRST…

NO GOING BACK

…There are times when we feel that we are spinning our wheels in the mud in terms of our spiritual progress. This can be especially true following a period of major growth in which we feel as if we have gained a lot of ground. In fact, this is the way growth goes—periods of intense forward movement give way to periods of what seems like stagnation. In those moments when we feel discouraged, it is helpful to remember that we do not ever really go backward. It may be that we are at a standstill because there is a new obstacle in our paths, or a new layer to get through, but the hard work we have done cannot be undone. Every step on the path is meaningful and even one that seems to take us backward is a forward step in the sense that it is what we must do to move to the next level. In addition, an intense growth spurt requires that we rest for a time in order to fully integrate the new energies that have been liberated by our hard work. When we feel we are not making progress, we can encourage ourselves to take a moment to rest. We can meditate more, feed ourselves well, and get extra sleep. Before we know it, we will be spurred on to work toward the next level of our development, and this rest will make sense then as something, we needed in order to continue. Once the sun rises, it does not go backward but instead follows its path in one direction. It may appear to stand still for a moment in time, or to move more slowly at some point or another, but really, it is steadily moving forward on its path. We are the same way, and once we have moved through something we can never really go back. We may be resting or revisiting issues that seem old, and it is natural to feel stuck, but in truth we are always taking the next important step forward on our path.

¿"DIBS" ON GOD?

The other day I was driving in town
minding my own business and my eyes happen to gaze upon a sign that read BROTHER SO & SO DELI. Now as I drove along my first thoughts
were, WHY IS THAT THERE ARE CERTAIN
PERSONS OUT THERE FEEL AS IF THEY HAVE DIBS ON GOD? Before I say
anything else, please note that I
AM ALL FOR PERSONS EXPRESSING THEIR LOVE FOR OUR CREATOR IN THE WAYS THEY FEEL. However, I feel that most if NOT all tend to think that they and they alone have DIBS on GOD and his blessings. Now there is NO need for me mince my words OR use polite
euphemisms, so can someone tell me why do
the OVERZEALOUS CHRISTIANS or
what I commonly referred to as RELIGIOUS
FANATICS believe that they are the ONLY
ones God will bless?

I REALLY wish that I felt SORRY to
burst their SANCTIFIED BUBBLE, but someone needs to knock
them down from that pulpit; because I, A GAY MAN HAVE JUST AS MUCH RIGHTS AS THEY
HAVE WHEN IT COMES TO ‘GOD!’ Moreover,
I think I sooner will see GOD’S face OR his glory LONG before they do because they are NOT operating in the realm HUMANITY and HUMILITY. In my opinion this sort of behavior is like
having SEX without seeking the other party’s permission
and its result is SPIRITUAL rape.(NOW, I GET THAT THIS CORRELATION MAY SEEM HARSH OR SLIGHTLY
EXAGGERATED, BUT IT MAKES MY POINT NONETHELESS). Seeing that sign made me realize that this
person is abusing me SPIRITUALLY without my consent AND violating my HUMANITY. 

That DISPLAY signified so
much and it is placed there to keep others in a constant state of unworthiness.
Like any form of corruption, these FANATICS know that it need only to expose their SO CALL LOVE for ‘GOD’ in this way AND it will take
on a life of its own. We all know that ALL religions
have their FANATICS and depend on who you ask the response about
that sign that I saw may range from IT
BEING A SIMPLE SIGN TO IT BEING AN ACT OF UNGODLINESS! Nonetheless,
this sign can VIVIDLY show how something simple like this has the
potentially to dehumanize persons like me as it SO often does in
the name of religion. Me being the OPPRESSED, I will be seen as a COMPLETE objection to
their SPIRITUALITY and IDENTITY. However, the
threat from this sign does NOT only exist in this state, it is merely the
product of the place from which it was born…

ONE STEP FORWARD...TWO STEPS BACK!

So today I ended my weekly coffee event with my FRIENDS a bit early. Today I went there with a renewed sense of HOW my FRIENDS were doing, thinking that they were ACTUALLY on the path of making things better for themselves. Now the funny thing is that I had something else in mind for what this entry was going to be about. However, I decided to wait N' see what the atmosphere was like first then come back and write on it. NOW AS I SIT HERE N’ WRITE THIS ENTRY I AM NOW SEEING THAT IT WAS A GOOD THING I CHOSE TO PLAY THE WAITING GAME…I wonder if I had actually posted the entry that I originally wanted if that would somehow send out POSITIVE vibes and show a different turn of events? Nonetheless, I am NOT in the business of telling my FRIENDS how they should live OR what they should do. And I did NOT write the entry which is EXACTLY how it should have been done. There were things that I said that were HURTFULL. However, they do NOT come a place of MALICE or ANGER. In fact I am the total opposite, if I argue with someone that means that I care and want them to fix whatever is bothering them; when I keep my mouth shut AND not say a word…I find it difficult to know that I am in the company of persons that I care about that are doing things that are obviously HURTING them. Me being who I am, I feel the liberty to express such thoughts AND let them know what I feel. I AM NOT GOD NOR DO I WANT TO BE HIM! I however, think that I care WAY too much AND I am fighting for things that are NOT important to them…THINGS THAT ARE FOR THEIR WELL-BEING. I PUT THEM FIRST & ME SECOND & PLACE MYSELF IN THEIR SHOES. However, things go I only want the BEST for them and as time passes by I realize that I have to simply allowing them to be in the mess AND hope that they would take themselves out of it…FOR THEY TELL ME THAT HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL…The fool in me is GIVING them the HOPE n’ LOVE and all they need is the FAITH! And as much as I would LOVE to change that, IT IS NOT MY PLACE and I won’t even attempt to make it mine. We are ALL on our path AND there are times when they will cross…I JUST HOPE THAT WE ARE @ A GREAT PLACE WHEN IT DOES…

...I AM...

1. POLITICS – Anyone that knows me would say I have mentioned on more than one occasion that I seek a political life and would LOVE the opportunity to serve my country and make it a better place. Of course I’ve been met with opposition AND was told that SO many others said EXACTLY the same thing and when they get there…WELL I CAN WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT I HAVE NO INTEREST IN FURTHERING MYSELF @ THE EXPENSE OF MY COUNTRY & THOSE THAT LIVE IN IT! I know that I am here to serve a PURPOSE and FULLFILL my destiny and in the process ENRICH the lives of those I meet. Therefore, for this reason it should NOT be surprising that my wanting to be in politics is born out of a struggle for GREATER need of HUMANITY. I feel that I have the WISDOM and FORESIGHT to recognize that there truly needs to be persons such as myself that is for the SOLE purpose of the democratic principals that will govern a country.
2. SPORTS – Being a man that is on verge of being 30 years of age, I find it VERY important that I get there in the best possible condition. Most think going to the gym is just about getting fit or building muscle. However, I know working out not only helped me build my physical confidence, but my self-confidence as well. Hence, the gym is my most viable option. I find that @ this stage of my life that exercise is a VITAL important part of keeping healthy. My focus is CHANGE my body, CHANGE my life!
3. NUTRITION – There is considerable truth in the saying 'You are what you eat'. The state of the body and how well it works depends largely on how appropriately it is nourished. Though nutritional needs vary even from person to person, according to genetic make-up, level of activity, general state of health and environment it is still up to us how we nourish the body.
4. SEX – The ways people engage in sexual activity is not just something, that individuals "do" in some kind of private isolation. Sexual activity is after all a social practice. Like all other human social practices, what people do, and why, is bound to be influenced by what is going on in the society around them. Though this makes sex in the modern world a tricky proposition, it is easy for me to form positive intimate social and sexual bonds that go against the tide of who the world says I am. I was born and raised in cultures that value the head over the heart and, as a result, we place our own hearts below our heads in a sort of inner hierarchy of which we may not be conscious. When it comes to sex, this simply means that we tend to listen and respond from the neck up, often leaving the rest of our bodies with little or no say in most matters. Sex mostly is a PHYSICAL habit, which sometimes feels as ingrained as the way we breathe or walk. However, with effort and awareness, I have shift the energy into my heart, listening and responding from a much deeper, more echoing place. When I have sex from my heart, the logical grid of my brain softens N’ melt, which enables me to perceive the interconnectedness beneath the divisions of sex. Hence, I understand that just as the heart underlies the brain, this interconnectedness underlies everything. So now I breathe into your heart and NOT my stomach when I have sex and listen N’ feel instead of thinking.