¿A FRIEND IN NEED OR SELFISH?

So yesterday I got a phone call from a friend of mine asking me if I got his text message. I told him no and then proceed to relay the message which was asking me if I’d cook today? I don’t know if Sunday dinner is a tradition where you guys are from, but here in the Caribbean this is like the sun rising and setting for us…So ask he asked me the question I smiled because he and I had a conversation about this very same thing on Friday. You see during this conversation I told him about protocol and etiquette that I follow when it comes to showing up OR calling another’s house when seeking their hospitality. It was during that time that I told him that I don’t live alone and my room-mate and I plan our meals for the week ahead. Now I know that @ the end of day food is only shit, but being unemployed lace I like to make sure that I am safe guarding myself as best as I possibly can…So I told him I would let him know what my answer was going to be in regards to request for a meal from me. I enjoyed my movie (go see THE HANGOVER btw) and soon after I know that I had to give him an answer. He is down on his luck right now and I helped him in the past, but I can’t help but wonder if there should be limit to my generosity? I have NO problems giving him a meal, but I was conflicted because a week or two ago I’d asked him for $50 dollar loan he said it was fine and that he’ll give it to me when we go to the movies that weekend…So after transferring some credits from my cell to his, I didn’t hear from him for almost a week…I texted and call him, but I got nothing…I was worried so I called a mutual friend of ours and he hadn’t heard anything from him. So I decided to sit and wait for him to surface because they ALWAYS do…So almost a week later his call came in and he told me that he was going through some stress and that he just needed to get away (fine with me) but I couldn’t help but wonder if he couldn’t use some of the credit that I transferred to him to let me know that? Let me know that you are unable to accommodate me so I can go elsewhere to seek help. I know that people think that my life is quite fine because I eat everyday and I still have my car, but come live with me and see is what I say to them…After searching my heart I gave him the food, but not before letting him know that this was his second strike and that I didn’t appreciate him putting me in this type of situation because he felt that I would help him out (his first strike was showing up to my house last week with that idiot boy who calls himself a thug last week)…MY HEART GOES OUT TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THIS PLANET & I WISH I COULD HELP THEM ALL, BUT I KNOW I CAN’T…SO THE ONES THAT I CAN HELP HOW DO DETERMINE IF THEY REALLY NEED MY HELP OR IF THEY ARE BEING SELFISH BY SIMPLY REORGANIZING HOW I LIVE?

BLACK FOLKS & ATHEISM...

Isn’t it laughable how it is ACCEPTABLE for most black to be a criminal who believes in God and goes to church on Sunday while selling drugs AND doing God knows what than to be an atheist who has a good job, a good education, who contributes to society and supports his/her family? This, for me, is one of THE MOST embarrassing elements of Black culture, our zealous embracement of the God of our kidnappers, murderers, slave masters and oppressors. But I digress because the GOD-LESS N’ SOUL-LESS HEATHENS with NO MORALS like me who doesn’t attend THE FIRST HOLINESS CHURCH OF THE LIVING GOD BAPTIST TABERNACLE is the worst thing on this planet…right?  Most would consider me to be an atheist for writing this, but I am not. However I don’t blame the man/woman that is an atheist for the feelings they have because I get their rejection of God, angels AND demons. I’ll take an atheist over the black person that is running to the collection giving their last because GOD said that they MUST give a sacrificial offering for the pastor’s house N’ cars…If only some black people had a brain…I would SO jump for joy if I were see a black person that came out of the RELIGIOUS CLOSET as an atheist…It sure would take them a long way in this world and it would show that they believe in something rather than going along with the flow because they were told they have too…From what I’ve read and discussed with others, atheism isn’t bad because they are persons who tend to be rationalists, which means they seek a rational, logical explanation for basing their particular worldview. So sad that most black persons don’t, can’t OR won’t…They can’t seem to get pass the fact that atheism is NOT dogma OR a religion. As far as I know, there are no rules to follow to be a proper atheist. Therefore if there were a universal atheistic moral code I suppose it would be something along the lines of I shall seek to cause no harm to fellow humans, accept responsibility if/when I do cause harm and attempt to diminish human suffering. I don’t know about you, but think there is something unseemly about black folks being so thoroughly conquered right down to their very minds and spirits. I find it all rather pathetic AND embarrassing. I would RESPECT the person that is all about the relinquishment and denial of all things that had been forced upon them. So isn’t it rational to think that the atheist that questions the existence of some great overseer in the sky in the new millennium is something to question? I HOPE THAT WHEN WE ALL MEET OUR END WE GET EXACTLY WHAT WE THING WE SHOULD…ALL I KNOW IS THAT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER THE WAY WE TREAT EACH WOULD MAKE ANY GOD KEEP US IN THE DARK ABOUT HIS EXISTENCE…I THINK HE WOULD RATHER WE NOT BELIEVE IN HIM IN WAY WE DO BECAUSE IT CAUSE MORE CONFUSION & PROBLEMS THAT IS NEEDED & I THINK THAT WE ALL NEED TO FORGET ABOUT HIS EXISTENCE…& IF THAT MEANS WE TRY ATHEISM TO FIND OUR WAY TO LIGHT I AM ALL FOR IT! ISN’T IT TIME WE AS BLACK PEOPLE OPEN OUR MINDS TO THE POSSIBILITY THAT THE VARIOUS INTERSECTIONS BETWEEN RELIGION, SOCIETY, POLITICS, SCIENCE & MORALITY NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED? I AM TIRED OF THE WAYS BLACK PEOPLE DAMAGE THEMSELVES PHYSICALLY, INTELLECTUALLY & EMOTIONALLY SUNDAY AFTER SUNDAY WITH NO RATIONAL BEHIND IT, AREN’T YOU?

IF IT MAKES YOU HAPPY

IF IT MAKES YOU HAPPY is the lead single from Sheryl Crow's 1996 eponymous album. The song hit the top ten of the Billboard Hot 100, peaking at #10. The track won Best Female Rock Vocal Performance at the 1997 Grammy Awards. The song ties with her other hit "My Favorite Mistake" as her third most popular single in the UK, reaching #9 on the UK singles chart. The song signaled a departure from the good time vibe of the huge hit ("All I Wanna Do") from her previous album, Tuesday Night Music Club. I chose this song because I find that a lot of people feel threatened by achieving REAL happiness. But I am of the opinion that in order for us to experience any sort revolutionary change in our lives we have to find those AH HA MOMENTS that our lives crave. So as the words of this song flow through, you ask yourself if the things in you life REALLY makes you…

¿DOES IT REALLY MATTER?

EASY TO BE MAN: A THUG IS A THUG...¿RIGHT?

Yesterday I was having a chat with Ian a.k.a. Darktomahawk on host of topics and one of them were on THUGS. I said my piece we both agreed on a few things and that was that…Fast-forward to an hour or so later, a friend of mine paid me a visit and he brought along a friend of his (unannounced I might add) and this blog entry is about him. So I put my annoyance aside and exercised etiquette and I soon realized that he was a confused individual that fancies himself as the type of man any man OR woman would want to get with. This man calls himself a Bi-sexual THUG that is down for whatever…He doesn’t have a job, he is rehab for drug use, he smokes weed and MOST of all he ONLY cares about his needs AND wants…His confidence was something to be hold, but after a few questions and observations, I noticed that his cavalier persona started to crack despite the fact that he tried to be indifferent. And it was then that I realized that it didn’t’ matter if I was feeling him because he knows there will be someone that will. So tell how exciting AND adventurous can man like this be when he has no sense of a good future? He reminds me of this one guy that wanted me to F&CK him so badly…He would call OR text me constantly. Now I would have indulged his fantasy, but I couldn’t because he has this notion that since I am not girlie (his words) that he has no problem rolling with me (again his words) he just couldn’t let a feminine man get his goods. Now I understand this internalized homophobic bullshit, but I can’t accept that this type of thinking…I don’t know about you guys, but I know that a man is man NO matter how you try to slice N’ dice him…So to take on a man that thinks of himself as a GOD among we gay men is such a shame in my book. If one were to look @ Wikipedia’s definition of a THUG, they would see that a THUG is a person, often a criminal, who treats others violently and roughly; this type of person is often a member of a gang. I fail to see the intrigue of man that stood before me AND I couldn’t fathom him getting with me despite his NOT so subtle advances. Meeting him made me wonder, how much is too much AND when is enough really enough? How many more of us will consider him the pot of gold @ the end of the rainbow? How long will we grant him sanctuary as he tells us to MAN UP with every stroke of his dick? I find it SO sad that we allow men like him to dehumanize some of us for mimicking Beyonce instead of 50 cent. But what is even sadder is the fact that some of us play apart in this wretched choice of a cat on a hot tin roof…Talk about jumping off OR burning…what a life this is huh? But who is the blame for this? I remember being thirteen and my uncle telling me that he would KILL me I grew up to become a sissy. So are these men simply taking on a persona that would keep them from such intimidations? I get that the being called a sissy OR gay is a UNIVERSAL device used to terrorize men into upholding an acceptable presentation of his gender, but to assert one’s masculinity and suppress their feminine side while trying to dominate those seen as less than is just too left of the middle for me. However, the connection is clear for me…From boys to men, our obsession with homosexuality is not just about a homophobia, although that is an inseparable element. Do you think that our crippling masculine anxieties cultivates fear AND disdain of women and all things feminine? I ask this because if we were to validate the link between homophobia and masculinity, and our belief that women, and by extension homosexual men, are inferior, we need look no further than the messages we transmit to boys…don’t we? In a patriarchal society rooted in the belief of male superiority and the exercise of male dominance, that is a demotion, a huge loss not only of status, but humanity. Gay men are HATED because they are seen as gender traitors for undermining the universal rules of patriarchy not matter how masculine they may be. Hence the THUG who lives among permanently AND irrevocably stained, he is a pure example of how difference and diversity are not respected in this world. So we MUST intervene to save our boys from a lifelong patriarchal crusade to control boys who are seen as not hard enough…BECAUSE WHAT I WITNESSED YESTERDAY IS THE CONSEQUENCES OF TELLING LITTLE BOYS TO MAN UP! WHEN A MAN HAS A PROBLEM WITH ANOTHER MAN BECAUSE HE IS SEEN AS FEMININE ARE WE GOING TO CONTINUE TO PAY THE ULTIMATE PRICE OR ARE WE GOING TO SEE OURSELVES AS MEN NO MATTER WHERE WE ARE ON THE MASCULINE & FEMININE SPECTRUM?

OPEN RELATIONSHIPS: ¿DO THEY WORK?

What happens when your committed partner grows bored with your sex life and desires to see other people? He doesn't exactly want to break up; he'd just like to sleep with other people from time to time. Some gay couples (and straight couples, actually) have open relationships, but do they really work?

¿WHY DO LESBIANS WATCH GAY PORN?

Now that I have me, myself and I to get me past the 3 months that Noel isn’t here, I find myself looking for the porno DVDs that always hit the right spot for me. After looking up down the house for them, I remembered that they are in the hands of a lesbian friend of mine. Hence I ask the question, why do lesbians watch gay porn? I mean why would women who love women watch sex between two men?   It’s a head-scratcher but the phenomenon is true. Ask any lesbian and she’ll tell you, if she doesn’t watch gay porn she knows a lesbian who does. Here’s what I came across when I researched this fact: Most lesbians have a heightened awareness of how men have oppressed women and straight porn is often Exhibit A in that exploitation.  In gay porn, the bottoms (traditionally like women, receivers) are often just as POWERFUL as tops (traditionally, like men, givers).  So while it’s still male-on-male sex, there’s a power dynamic at work that appeals to lesbian political and personal sensibilities. So when I asked her this question her response was SHE ISN’T LOOKING @ THE PLAYERS IN THE PLAY, BUT THE ROLES THEY’RE PLAYING. I can accept that (I think) but when I think about the impatient angle due to the fact that lesbian porn takes FOREVER to get to the sex, I understand where she is coming from. When I think about the about how the intimacy AND emotional connections takes up half the DVD, my dildo would loose it’s erection as well…As she SO eloquently puts it, I LIKE GAY PORN BECAUSE THE ACTORS HAVING SEX F&CK or KILL IT, WHEREAS LESBIANS JUST PRETTY IT UP…And who wants their porn to be all nicely tied up with a pretty bow? I get that she is one of those lesbians that is turned on by masculine energy and she doesn’t want to have sex with a man, but how is she to learn how to use her various dildos and strap-ons? BUT ALL IN ALL SEX IS SO INTERESTING & WHAT MAKES NO SENSE TO YOU OR ME MAKES PERFECT SENSE TO SOMEONE ELSE…DAMN I NEED MY DVDs BACK!